good Thai girl

[Hans]

I know now, i am not alone about sending some money to my thai girl. I also know her life is not easy and it hurts me alot.
She never been asking for some money from me, I always have to push on her for get an ok for send her money every month
I been sending her alot of money and i know she is careful with the money and work alot for help her family.
I trust my girl and it makes me feel good.
I am sure my girl is a "good thai girl" love dont comes from money

[John the Traveller]

I thought I had a good Thai girl but after a year it has just fallen over. I followed the advice in this forum from many posters too numerous to mention. The foremost advice was to " never invest money in Thailand that you cant afford to lose" I followed that to the letter. I have also followed other advice freely given in this forum. In short I was not wealthy enough for her. Elements of her family are very disappointed with her as they felt I was a " good guy". I am now receiving serious threats from her. She returned from a trip to my country to marry a man she has known less than 6 months. Strangely enough he is a country man of mine. I feel sorry for him. She did however offer me a deal for "visiting rights" behind his back. An offer I walked away from very quickly as you can imagine.
The purpose of this post is not to gather comments of sympathy. But to reinforce the value of the members knowledge and experience. Thank you Almog for an excellent site and thank you all expat posters to the site. Your wisdom has saved my bacon!!!
Best regards,
John The Traveller

[Admin]

Thank you john and I'm very sorry to hear about your experience with the girl but I guess its like this in life, at least you were out with scratches only, some lose fortune on mistakes like this, our advice is always to be caution and as you said, don't spend more than you can afford to lose (walk away).
Not all Thai ladies are like this and some of them are honest and modest with their request.
What a girl wants? What a man needs?

I am very happy the forum members advices helped.

[John the Traveller]

Thank you again for the site Almog. I appreciate your comments.
I hope your attempt to return to Israel is successfull. Eretz Israel (I hope that is correct  love)

Regards
John

[Admin]

Thank you again for the site Almog. I appreciate your comments.
I hope your attempt to return to Israel is successfull. Eretz Israel (I hope that is correct  love)

Regards
John

Correct.

[Happylarry]

Thought I was indeed "Happy" but from what I have been hearing from my foreign neighbours, and seen for myself  I am left being not so sure.
 
I believe my girl to be a good one (don't we all) - or at least I did until I heard a few horror stories  and saw things with my own eyes which have set me wondering.
 
Perhaps I can ask whether these things are the exception or the norm.
 
1) Houses being built by the girls family, where prices are padded, and the finished price is around twice the realistic cost, with the family all ending up with new houses too
 
2 Many girls having boyfriends in the villages with whom they stay when the foreigner leaves the country, Both living happily on the money sent monthly  whilst boyfriend works hard to save up for his next visit.
 
3 Girls drifting back to their bars in Pattaya or Bangkok, whilst telling boyfriends they are home with the family waiting for his return.
 
 
If true, what can I do to avoid being a victim?

[John the Traveller]

Almog your attention to detail is astonishing......"L'Chaim!"
John T 

[Paddyram]

I thought I had a good Thai girl but after a year it has just fallen over. I followed the advice in this forum from many posters too numerous to mention. The foremost advice was to " never invest money in Thailand that you cant afford to lose" I followed that to the letter. I have also followed other advice freely given in this forum. In short I was not wealthy enough for her. Elements of her family are very disappointed with her as they felt I was a " good guy". I am now receiving serious threats from her. She returned from a trip to my country to marry a man she has known less than 6 months. Strangely enough he is a country man of mine. I feel sorry for him. She did however offer me a deal for "visiting rights" behind his back. An offer I walked away from very quickly as you can imagine.
The purpose of this post is not to gather comments of sympathy. But to reinforce the value of the members knowledge and experience. Thank you Almog for an excellent site and thank you all expat posters to the site. Your wisdom has saved my bacon!!!
Best regards,
John The Traveller

Very sorry to hear it didn't work out John.  No matter what anyone says, it's always a bit of a lottery in situations like ours.
Has it turned you off the idea of Thai partner totally ?

[John the Traveller]

No Paddy it hasn't. I love the area and the people.
I think the work I did will stand me in good stead with most of the people in the village. There are, however, some exceptions.
Cheers,
John

[Vombatus]

Thought I was indeed "Happy" but from what I have been hearing from my foreign neighbours, and seen for myself  I am left being not so sure.
 
I believe my girl to be a good one (don't we all) - or at least I did until I heard a few horror stories  and saw things with my own eyes which have set me wondering.
 
Perhaps I can ask whether these things are the exception or the norm.
 
1) Houses being built by the girls family, where prices are padded, and the finished price is around twice the realistic cost, with the family all ending up with new houses too
 
2 Many girls having boyfriends in the villages with whom they stay when the foreigner leaves the country, Both living happily on the money sent monthly  whilst boyfriend works hard to save up for his next visit.
 
3 Girls drifting back to their bars in Pattaya or Bangkok, whilst telling boyfriends they are home with the family waiting for his return.
 
 
If true, what can I do to avoid being a victim?

At Coffee Corner I get to hear a number of 'horror stories'.

Having spent 7m baht building a house (real cost probably 50% of that) one Falang was told by his G/F of 6 years to F*  Off. He was devasted and he doted on their 18 month old child. He was also the only person in the village who did not know that his G/F's ex-husband was hopping into her bed before he had reached the airport for his trips home.

It is sound advice that says -   test your G/F out at every opportunity (for finance and fidelity) and don't put money into Thailand that you are not prepared to leave in Thailand.

[Prakhonchai Nick]

After John the Traveller's tale of woe, which in my experience is not a rarity, Happylarry's questions above are all too relevant. I believe"private eyes" in Pattaya do good business

[Vombatus]

After John the Traveller's tale of woe, which in my experience is not a rarity, Happylarry's questions above are all too relevant. I believe"private eyes" in Pattaya do good business

A 'Private Eye' is OK but I see two issue with that:-

1. A 'local eye' is much better. These things are going under the noses of everyone and nobody is letting the cuckolded victim know(very difficult to do!).

2. The cuckold is usually loved up and wearing rose-tinted glasses - again, quite normal.

My advice remains  BE VIGILANT and keep at least an 'open mind' about the possibility that something MIGHT be going on with your 'good girl'.

[Paddyram]

Thought I was indeed "Happy" but from what I have been hearing from my foreign neighbours, and seen for myself  I am left being not so sure.
 
I believe my girl to be a good one (don't we all) - or at least I did until I heard a few horror stories  and saw things with my own eyes which have set me wondering.
 
Perhaps I can ask whether these things are the exception or the norm.
 
1) Houses being built by the girls family, where prices are padded, and the finished price is around twice the realistic cost, with the family all ending up with new houses too
 
2 Many girls having boyfriends in the villages with whom they stay when the foreigner leaves the country, Both living happily on the money sent monthly  whilst boyfriend works hard to save up for his next visit.
 
3 Girls drifting back to their bars in Pattaya or Bangkok, whilst telling boyfriends they are home with the family waiting for his return.
 
 
If true, what can I do to avoid being a victim?

Don't panic yet, maybe she's genuine.
1. yes, happens a lot.  But the members on this forum have all been there before so they can give you a guide as to going rates, etc.  But sometime this 'overspend' is the family showing off (your wealth) in the village rather than trying to rob you.
2. yes happens all the time.  Keep an eye out for 'brothers' and 'cousins' hanging around when you're in Buriram.  Learn some basic Thai and keep your ears open.  Pay a 'surprise' visit to Buriram, If she is not happily surprised, ask yourself why.  Get dropped off outside the door and check (sneakily) if the 'Brother' or 'Cousin' clothes are in her room.
3. learn some Thai, when you phone her ask to say 'Sawadee' to her parents as a sign of respect.  If she is not in the village, she can't pass them the phone.  And again, the surprise visit.  In general its a good idea to try to get speaking to her family a little

Best of luck

[Prakhonchai Nick]

In my early days in Pattaya 25 years ago, I used to read farangs letters to the bar girls, and if they contained money, I would (at their request) write a reply asking for more money for all the still current reasons (mama sick, buffalo sick etc). There were of course no e-mails then. It was lucrative business for me as I mostly was paid "in kind"

During the years between finishing with my first Thai wife, and meeting my current wife 13 years ago, I had a number of girlfriend s, one of whom I lived with for 10 months and another for 6 months. Both of those I subsequently found out were receiving monthly sponsors payments!

With far more sponsors around today than then, I imagine many girls have a number of paying boyfriends feeding their village lifestyle.

[Paddyram]

After John the Traveller's tale of woe, which in my experience is not a rarity, Happylarry's questions above are all too relevant. I believe"private eyes" in Pattaya do good business

But Pattaya is not Buriram.  In an Isaan Village, where most families are inter-related a Private Eye would get spotted in seconds.  this could cause trouble where there wasn't any trouble before.
BTW watched Butteryfly man last night, it showed the good, the bad and the ugly of Expats in Thailand.  It would be a good guide for loved-up Farang traveling to Thailand.