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Author Topic: Is it mid life crisis???  (Read 14485 times)

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Offline aparasher

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Is it mid life crisis???
« on: June 23, 2011, 06:33:27 AM »
I need your advise on my recent chain of events which has made me question myself.

I am 40 year old man married 2 years ago with a girl from Prakhonchai. We are expecting our 1st baby girl in Sep this year.

During past  few months there has been lots of politics going on in the office which has taken a little bit of toll on me and I have started questioning my capabilities (I am not a political person). Having said that, money is good and overall organisation is great too. And recently I bought another house as the property market slowed down a bit here in Melbourne. I am sure I can bring the mortgage down to manageable (so that house can keep paying itself by renting it out) level in 5 year and if need be I can use the rent of other

But recently this office politics has really started to bug me.

So, i have 2 options:

1. Suck it up and keep pushing and find another job in worst case scenario. Pay off the house for next 5 year and hang in here while wife and daughter can keep living in Thailand till that time. I can then rent out both places, or sell one of them and rent out other.

2. I can bring wife and daughter back here as it will be good for daughter from schooling and upbringing point of view, and keep living for another 20 years till kid/s grow up and then come back to settle in Thailand. Although, we don't know what may happen in 20 years.

Would love to hear your advise....




Offline urleft

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Re: Is it mid life crisis???
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2011, 07:38:10 AM »
When you have to depend on income from another source (rental), you can be screwed in a heartbeat.  The object is to get self sufficient.  If you cannot handle taking care of multiple properties on your own for 6 months, you are an accident waiting to happen.  It may work out, but if the renter moves, can you continue?  If the answer is no, you can be in deep dodo before you know it.

Good Luck    redman

Offline aparasher

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Re: Is it mid life crisis???
« Reply #2 on: June 23, 2011, 07:47:00 AM »
Thanks for response urleft.

Good point. I guess having some capital on hand would be benefecial.

Do other members who are settled here keep their properties back home? How do they manage them?

Offline Admin

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Re: Is it mid life crisis???
« Reply #3 on: June 23, 2011, 11:05:18 AM »
Thanks for response urleft.

Good point. I guess having some capital on hand would be benefecial.

Do other members who are settled here keep their properties back home? How do they manage them?

I don't know what answers you will get here but many people I have talked with simply sold their property back home and invest the money in different banking saving plans (Offshore accounts?).

Some are using the money and living off their 'income' from selling the property.

Some are keeping the money for emergency cases and have their own income (Pension?).
Will it be enough to live on that kind of income?

40 years old is very young and I wouldn't choose either option.

If you can't afford to pay the mortgage, as said before, if the renter moves you will have a problem.

sawadi

Offline Starman

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Re: Is it mid life crisis???
« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2011, 12:16:09 PM »
I am 41 and have been living full time in Thailand for 13 years. I sold my house in the UK just before I came here. I used the money to pay off debts. I had 1000 pounds left, which I brought with me.

I left the UK for the same reasons you are talking about with regards to politics in the work place. I worked for the same company for 11 years. Totally pissed me off.

I now work here, as a teacher, and live off my Thai income.

The benefits I have reaped both mentally and physically far outweigh any financial losses I have made.

Go with the heart.

Offline Paddyram

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Re: Is it mid life crisis???
« Reply #5 on: June 24, 2011, 06:48:05 PM »
Could I add a third option for you aparasher.
Keep the head down and work as usual in the office.  Go to see your GP and let him know about the stress in work and the toll it is taking on you (apetite/sleep/effect on family relationship/grumpiness/stomach pains(ulser symtoms)), so as to get this on the record at least. 
Meanwhile, back in work (hard as it may be) try to let the politics go over your head and don't engage if possible, just concentrate on fulfilling whatever your job description is (and be seen to do this). 
If by 'office politics' you mean harrassment, increased pressure or increased criticism of your work or whatever, you have said this is only become a problem recently, then mention your dissatisfaction to a superior.  You could do it just as a mildly worded comment in an email or whatever, but get it on print, no matter how meekly you mention it.  You can always say later on that you had to mention it, but downplayed the seriousness as you were weary of reprocussions.
Basically, get your records ready in case you have to go for 'Constructive Dismissal' against the company.  You have good labours laws in Australia.   Thats what they are there for.  It might make work a bit uncomfortable, but if they try to make you leave, then work to rule strictly in accordance with your contract, no overtime, no working through lunch, nothing, just do it without making a big militant stance.  Just start one day and carry on.  It also means you can't be fired while this is on the record without it looking suspicious for your company in relation to labour laws.  also,by not engaging in the office politics you are bound to annoy some people thats when they will do something stupid, even a stupid comment and then you hand in you  doctors sick note (stress). 
Now, I know full well I am a bad b@stard when it comes to sneaky things like this (it comes with the job), its up to you how much of one you want to be, but remeber loyalty is for family and friends, work is for paychecks you owe them nothing more than to turn up for work and do your job.  Office politics is for bored @ssholes who should be busy working.

Offline jeddah

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Re: Is it mid life crisis???
« Reply #6 on: June 25, 2011, 06:59:38 AM »
I would be very, very nervous if I owned two properties in Melbourne, or anywhere in Australia for that matter. Here are a couple of articles to show why.
 http://macrobusiness.com.au/2011/05/will-aussie-housing-go-bust/
http://macrobusiness.com.au/2011/05/melbourne-housing-hits-the-wall/
With the pathetically low yields generated from property investment in Australia combined with the fact that there will be no capital growth ( or possibly a 20% correction - depends who you talk to) over the next five years I would strongly suggest diversifying your investments.
When banks in Oz are paying 6.51% interest on your savings and rental yields are around 2 - 3 % It really doesn't make sense to put all your money in property at the moment. Especially when interest rates have only one way to go -  UP and house prices have only one way to go - DOWN
You need to plan your retirement for the worst case scenario. Not the best case scenario.
Just my 2c Good luck whichever way you go.

Offline aparasher

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Re: Is it mid life crisis???
« Reply #7 on: June 25, 2011, 07:16:52 AM »
Thanks everyone for your comments and advise. I really appreciate it. All points are quite valid. As Paddy said, I will keep my head down and stay out of politics. I am sure it may annoy some people, but that's least of my concern. So far Australian economy is doing well, so I am least concerned about losing this job. My only regret will be that I like this company and some people are fighting to take control. I guess these people are afraid to find work outside. I can have a somewhat easy life even if I move a level down.

As for maintaining 2 properties. I have already paid 1st property and will keep the 2nd one as investment. In the worst case, I can sell one of them and keep other one, but if I hang in there for next 5-6 years, then I can pay off 2nd one too and can use the capital for retirement.

My only concern remain for my daughter and wife. I am not sure if I should bring both of them to Australia, or let her grow up there in Thailand?

At present, wife has a good government job and can take care of the daughter. If she quits and comes here, then she may not be able to find a job due to lack of written and extensive conversational English skills.

Apart from this, I am also unsure if Australia is better for my daughter's upbringing? She can go to good school there in Buriram, but schools in Melbourne are either way too expensive, or not that good. It's hard to get admission some good public schools.

Any suggestions???
« Last Edit: June 25, 2011, 07:22:02 AM by aparasher »

Offline Prakhonchai Nick

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Re: Is it mid life crisis???
« Reply #8 on: June 25, 2011, 07:21:07 AM »
In an ideal world I would say sell up everything in Oz and come to Thailand. However at age 40,  you may well not have enough capital to fullfill that dream, and continued working is the only option. I would suggest you investigate your pension rights, as there seem to be some suggestions that state pensions are only payable when you are actually in Oz.

In the event that you need to remain and work in Oz. I would suggest you take your wife and new daughter to Oz, and keep an open mind on the future. As you say 20 years is a long time, and even if you did then decide to come and live in Thailand...a) would your pension -if any - be enough to support you and b) would your then 20 year old daughter want to come too?

Offline Prakhonchai Nick

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Re: Is it mid life crisis???
« Reply #9 on: June 25, 2011, 07:24:15 AM »
Your last post Aprasher beat mine by a few minutes

It's not much of a life for either of you, or your daughter for one to be in Melbourne and the other in Prakhonchai for most of the year.

I am sure your wife could find some sort of work - but is this necessary ---can you afford to support her and your daughter without her income?


Offline aparasher

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Re: Is it mid life crisis???
« Reply #10 on: June 25, 2011, 07:53:06 AM »
Nick. That is a good point. I can support the, but I guess just questioning it due to loss of confidence.

I have known BMs of this board to be practical with good advice and also have been great sounding board. I must say that I am not disappointed this time too.

Thanks very much for being here.

Offline Vombatus

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Re: Is it mid life crisis???
« Reply #11 on: June 25, 2011, 09:09:01 AM »
There are far too many practical considerations to take into account over the next 20 years so it may be best to just deal with the current emotional aspects.

I do like Starman's advice and he must have been very brave to make that move at that age. It was not just a  move brought about by the negativity towards the UK - it was a belief that he would have a 'better' life (even with no security) in Thailand.

I have been 'living' between UK and Thailand for over 5 years and spent an increasing amount of time in Thailand. Next year it will be 10 months and in 2013 11 months.

Seven years ago when I had a good job in a bank I wanted to have GBP 500k capital at retirement (maybe at 55/56). I knew at that time I would have had a pension of circa GBP 20k p.m.  My plan was basically to retire to Spain.

Many things changed.

To cut a very long story short, I discovered Thailand (and later my GF) and decided this was the place for me. I have regarded Thailand as 'home' for the last 2 years.

My financial planning went right out of the window !!

To a large degree I followed my heart whilst trying to ensure that I had some asset backing. I have had to cut my cloth to suit my circumstances and there has been some satisfaction in achieving that.

Apart from annual holiday visits, I have no desire to return the UK. It is a depressing place - and bloody cold !

« Last Edit: June 25, 2011, 09:15:13 AM by CoffeeCorner »

Offline urleft

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Re: Is it mid life crisis???
« Reply #12 on: June 25, 2011, 09:24:29 AM »
I should have stated my main Thailand philosophy:  "Do not put more into it than you can afford to lose." 

So you have to balance your income (and make sure you have it) with what your TG can take from you.   

If you do not balance your income with what you can afford to lose, you are depending on luck.  And I wish you best.  But I have been burned (big time), and am cautious.   There is a difference in outlook when you are 41 as opposed to 56. 


Offline Starman

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Re: Is it mid life crisis???
« Reply #13 on: June 25, 2011, 11:42:12 AM »
So am I lucky? That thousand pounds that I brought with me is still in the bank, or at least an equivalent is.

I look back sometimes and wonder what would have happened if...if and so on.

I am still happy with my decision.

To the OP. Would working in Thailand not be a viable option?


Offline Prakhonchai Nick

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Re: Is it mid life crisis???
« Reply #14 on: June 25, 2011, 11:47:53 AM »
I came to Thailand at age 42. Never regretted it

However you must know where future finances are coming from. Endowment policies, pensions etc. Inflation creeps up on you, even here, and I know of many farangs who have had to return to their original home countries to work and make ends meet.


 

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