THE MONEY ONE HAS TO PAY FOR GETTING MARIED

[DeputyDavid]

I read with interest the many posts on this subject.  I met an Issan girl about 10 years ago back when you could go onto yahoo chat and see who was online and strike up a conversation.  I chatted with many girls and chose the one I thought was best.  Her family lived in Khon Khean at a house with dirt floor, no windows, termite ridden.  For me to be able to stay for any amount of time at that home, I had to build a "room" with western toilet!  I did.  After 3 years or so of marriage, I built a very nice home on property that was the family farm.  The brother had the farm and wife had the current house, so I purchased the land from him and built the house, a cost of nearly 2 mil bht.  I also built a guest house for her brother and the MIL stayed at the new house to keep an eye on it.  It was known that this would be our retirement place. 

When we were at the embasy getting the visa for her to come to USA, we met a young girl (24) who was getting her visa to come to USA just a few miles from where I lived.  She and my wife became friends. 

Now dont you know, just as soon as each of these two obtained their US citizenship, each called to thier respective husbands and said "I got an apartment and I am not coming back."

Its a plot fellas, as long as you know it going in, then no worries.

She got the house and land of course, I kept my retirement funds and home in USA.  Now, at 50 I am trying to save up again to be able to build something much smaller but cozy on the new Thai wife's land.  But that will not happen until I can come live in it myself.

As to the sin sod, the new wife knew up front that I was totally against it.  I showed money at the engagement, but in order to save face I payed the catering bill.  (It was good, and not too many people.)  At the wedding, the family really wanted a live band.  I donated 80.000 bht and my goodness, live band with dancing girls, 25 tables and catered food, you could not get that for 10 times the amount in America.

So maybe there was no dowery, but I feel comfortable with givng the money for the party.  I had a great time, it did not break the bank, and everyone was happy. 

Oh, and with this wife, there is a prenup, my house is sole and seperate, but when I die, she will be well taken care of....(shhhhh, dont tell her.)

Sorry for being long winded, just thought my experience was unique, only to find this site and see ..... it is all part of the master plan!!

Be careful and informed!!!!!

[Nobby]

Maybe you need this poll with the ability to post more than one answer as how many are still on the 'first' relationship. Not many, I would guess. 30% met ladies from a bar may be an indicator to suggest my idea might be right???

[rufusredtail]

Sorry to hear deputy dave , risk you take with trying to judge that person i suppose , you have to access in your own mind how that person will turn out , i choose to live in my wifes village off and on , not that i could communicate with any of them , trust is something that worries all of us to some degree, my wife is paying for the monk wedding , i bought a car for her quite a while ago , we agreed to keep it in the family so her brother is paying her over a period of time , i have not had to come up with any money so far , except for the sin sod, if it was western they the family would have to pay the lot . 

[smoooth2]

I'm not trying to be dismissive, or flippant, about the sad stories from guys that have been cleaned out, but relationships and marriages are a 50/50 prospect in most countries nowdays, so I put a slightly different spin on my relationship with my TGF.

I suspect that many of us are in Thailand for two reasons. It's very affordable to live here, and the women are beautiful.

OF COURSE, the Thai girl's see farangs as an opportunity to better their lifestyle. Blind Freddy should be able to see that !! Let's be honest, what 30yo woman would be interested in a 50-60yo man from an unknown culture, unless there was something in it for her.

I came to Thailand to meet a much younger "internet girl". I came here with my eyes wide open, knowing full well that if I was to have a beautiful, intelligent, sexy, younger girlfriend ... somewhere down the track it would cost.

Just as it would have back home ...

I've been here for nearly 1 year in a fantastic relationship. It's cost me NOWHERE near as much as I would have spent trying to maintain a relationship back home with some wrinkled, menopausal, fat cow.

Let's face it. How much did you spend trying to satisfy your ex wife, or girlfriend, or both, back home ? Holidays abroad, flash cars, fashion clothes & shoes, expensive jewellery, flowers, extensions to the house because she wanted a "sun room" , endless knick knacks to make your beloved love you just a little bit more.

Cost a truckload eh !!

And what happened ? Ultimately, all for nothing.

Now ... here we are in Thailand, chasing gorgeous 20 year younger women.

Personally, I'm ok knowing that I'm footing the bill for most things that my girl and I do together. Hell ... I was doing the same back home anyway ... at 10 times the price !!

I look upon the money spent here as the happy cost of spending 24/7 with a beautiful little lady half my age. I like waking up next to her every morning. I like the fact that there is someone out there thinking about me during the day. It's nice.

Do I trust her ?? ......... yes I do.  Am I naive ?? ... maybe ... time will tell. But I'm living the dream finding out.

And I'm getting twice the woman for 1/10th the cost of being back home.

So ... when I read disaster stories, I try to put them into context. I think ... what if things do go "belly up" for me ? 

Well ... it will still be bucket loads cheaper than the "crash and burns" back home. And just another chapter in the book !!

I guess the often quoted "never spend more than you can afford to lose" is so true ... but that applies everywhere ... not just in Thailand with Thai girls.

[CO-CO]

smooth - brilliant post - you have summed up my life in a nutshell

[Nobby]

smooth - brilliant post - you have summed up my life in a nutshell

Agreed (not about Crusty's life) 555 

I think it is lot to do with keeping a contingency plan and maybe not having all your eggs in one basket case ( or Thai House)

Glad things are running Smooth2)

[Starman]

It's all about stopping saying things like "Thai wife" or "Thai girlfriend". A wife is a wife.

It's all about treating her as you would like to be treated.

If you found out that your wife was sh&@gging someone in a Karaoke or somewhere how would you feel? If you found out that your wife had "contingency plans" then how would you feel.

I see some guys that appear to be here for some kind of "holiday marriage".

Relationships are two ways.

I have been married, first and only time in my life, for nearly 13 years. Always dealt with things together with respect for each other.

[Nobby]

It's all about stopping saying things like "Thai wife" or "Thai girlfriend". A wife is a wife.

It's all about treating her as you would like to be treated.

If you found out that your wife was sh&@gging someone in a Karaoke or somewhere how would you feel? If you found out that your wife had "contingency plans" then how would you feel.

I see some guys that appear to be here for some kind of "holiday marriage".

Relationships are two ways.

I have been married, first and only time in my life, for nearly 13 years. Always dealt with things together with respect for each other.

I agree wholeheartedly with your post and its great you work thing out this way, Respect.

BUT, do you think attitudes/priorities are the same in Thailand as in your home country then?

[Albert]

It's all about stopping saying things like "Thai wife" or "Thai girlfriend". A wife is a wife.

It's all about treating her as you would like to be treated.

If you found out that your wife was sh&@gging someone in a Karaoke or somewhere how would you feel? If you found out that your wife had "contingency plans" then how would you feel.

I see some guys that appear to be here for some kind of "holiday marriage".

Relationships are two ways.

I have been married, first and only time in my life, for nearly 13 years. Always dealt with things together with respect for each other.

Starman  .
I read some of these posts with utter disbelief.

[Albert]

It's all about stopping saying things like "Thai wife" or "Thai girlfriend". A wife is a wife.

It's all about treating her as you would like to be treated.

If you found out that your wife was sh&@gging someone in a Karaoke or somewhere how would you feel? If you found out that your wife had "contingency plans" then how would you feel.

I see some guys that appear to be here for some kind of "holiday marriage".

Relationships are two ways.

I have been married, first and only time in my life, for nearly 13 years. Always dealt with things together with respect for each other.

I agree wholeheartedly with your post and its great you work thing out this way, Respect.

BUT, do you think attitudes/priorities are the same in Thailand as in your home country then?

You don't have to keep making a distinction between the two if your working together,that's the whole point.

[Starman]

It's all about stopping saying things like "Thai wife" or "Thai girlfriend". A wife is a wife.

It's all about treating her as you would like to be treated.

If you found out that your wife was sh&@gging someone in a Karaoke or somewhere how would you feel? If you found out that your wife had "contingency plans" then how would you feel.

I see some guys that appear to be here for some kind of "holiday marriage".

Relationships are two ways.

I have been married, first and only time in my life, for nearly 13 years. Always dealt with things together with respect for each other.

I agree wholeheartedly with your post and its great you work thing out this way, Respect.

BUT, do you think attitudes/priorities are the same in Thailand as in your home country then?

Yes.

As stated in my previous post.

[smoooth2]

It's all about stopping saying things like "Thai wife" or "Thai girlfriend". A wife is a wife.

It's all about treating her as you would like to be treated.

If you found out that your wife was sh&@gging someone in a Karaoke or somewhere how would you feel? If you found out that your wife had "contingency plans" then how would you feel.

I see some guys that appear to be here for some kind of "holiday marriage".

Relationships are two ways.

I have been married, first and only time in my life, for nearly 13 years. Always dealt with things together with respect for each other.

Starman ... I agree with your post. You are in an enviable and priviledged position to make your comments ... having been happily married only once for 13 years. Well done.

Unfortunately, many of us here have had previous failed marriages, and whether we admit it or not, there is always some emotional baggage attached to that. You REALLY do carry it forever. It makes you more cautious the 2nd time around.

I give my girl 100% commitment to making our relationship work. I've burned many bridges back home to be here full time. Hopefully it will lead to marriage. That was my plan from the start. I would never consider it a holiday marriage.

But, having had the rug pulled out from under me before, it does change your values a little. Hopefully you will never know what I'm talking about !! (meaning you will stay happily married forever ... and not be a divorcee with a slightly different view to marriage like many of us)

I just wish I had come here as a 25 year old with the world at my feet !!

[Starman]

It's all about stopping saying things like "Thai wife" or "Thai girlfriend". A wife is a wife.

It's all about treating her as you would like to be treated.

If you found out that your wife was sh&@gging someone in a Karaoke or somewhere how would you feel? If you found out that your wife had "contingency plans" then how would you feel.

I see some guys that appear to be here for some kind of "holiday marriage".

Relationships are two ways.

I have been married, first and only time in my life, for nearly 13 years. Always dealt with things together with respect for each other.

Starman ... I agree with your post. You are in an enviable and priviledged position to make your comments ... having been happily married only once for 13 years. Well done.

Unfortunately, many of us here have had previous failed marriages, and whether we admit it or not, there is always some emotional baggage attached to that. You REALLY do carry it forever. It makes you more cautious the 2nd time around.

I give my girl 100% commitment to making our relationship work. I've burned many bridges back home to be here full time. Hopefully it will lead to marriage. That was my plan from the start. I would never consider it a holiday marriage.

But, having had the rug pulled out from under me before, it does change your values a little. Hopefully you will never know what I'm talking about !! (meaning you will stay happily married forever ... and not be a divorcee with a slightly different view to marriage like many of us)

I just wish I had come here as a 25 year old with the world at my feet !!

I fully understand the emotions there must be when entering a relationship, possibly leading to marriage, for the second time.

I am very pleased that you are not differentiating between nationality.

That was my point.

[DeputyDavid]

Smooth I think we are in the same boat....at least paddling up the same river.  I agree with you completely.

[Ahab]

I'm not trying to be dismissive, or flippant, about the sad stories from guys that have been cleaned out, but relationships and marriages are a 50/50 prospect in most countries nowdays, so I put a slightly different spin on my relationship with my TGF.

I suspect that many of us are in Thailand for two reasons. It's very affordable to live here, and the women are beautiful.

OF COURSE, the Thai girl's see farangs as an opportunity to better their lifestyle. Blind Freddy should be able to see that !! Let's be honest, what 30yo woman would be interested in a 50-60yo man from an unknown culture, unless there was something in it for her.

I came to Thailand to meet a much younger "internet girl". I came here with my eyes wide open, knowing full well that if I was to have a beautiful, intelligent, sexy, younger girlfriend ... somewhere down the track it would cost.

Just as it would have back home ...

I've been here for nearly 1 year in a fantastic relationship. It's cost me NOWHERE near as much as I would have spent trying to maintain a relationship back home with some wrinkled, menopausal, fat cow.

Let's face it. How much did you spend trying to satisfy your ex wife, or girlfriend, or both, back home ? Holidays abroad, flash cars, fashion clothes & shoes, expensive jewellery, flowers, extensions to the house because she wanted a "sun room" , endless knick knacks to make your beloved love you just a little bit more.

Cost a truckload eh !!

And what happened ? Ultimately, all for nothing.

Now ... here we are in Thailand, chasing gorgeous 20 year younger women.

Personally, I'm ok knowing that I'm footing the bill for most things that my girl and I do together. Hell ... I was doing the same back home anyway ... at 10 times the price !!

I look upon the money spent here as the happy cost of spending 24/7 with a beautiful little lady half my age. I like waking up next to her every morning. I like the fact that there is someone out there thinking about me during the day. It's nice.

Do I trust her ?? ......... yes I do.  Am I naive ?? ... maybe ... time will tell. But I'm living the dream finding out.

And I'm getting twice the woman for 1/10th the cost of being back home.

So ... when I read disaster stories, I try to put them into context. I think ... what if things do go "belly up" for me ? 

Well ... it will still be bucket loads cheaper than the "crash and burns" back home. And just another chapter in the book !!

I guess the often quoted "never spend more than you can afford to lose" is so true ... but that applies everywhere ... not just in Thailand with Thai girls.

Great outlook, you have a great perspective on life (in my opinion). Wish you the best.