Ring any bells?

[urleft]

The US standard railroad gauge is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number.
 
 
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number.
 
Why was that gauge used?
Because that’s the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US Railroads.
 
Why did the English build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that’s the gauge they used.
 
Why did “they” use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
 
Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that’s the spacing of the wheel ruts.
 
So who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
 
And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.
 
The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for! an Imperial Roman war chariot. And bureaucracies live forever
 
So the next time you are handed a spec and told we have always done it that way and wonder what horse’s ass came up with that, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses.
 
Now the twist to the story…
 
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.
 
The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is bout as wide as two horses’ behinds.
 
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world’s most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse’s ass.
 
And you thought being a horse’s ass wasn’t important.

[TBWG]

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair
styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
 
" Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there?
It's crowded and dirty.. You're crazy to go to Rome .. So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Air Canada ," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
 
" Air Canada ?" exclaimed the hairdresser.. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"
 
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive,
but it's really a dump."
 
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe
get to see the Pope."


 
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a
million other people trying to see him. He'll look
the size of an ant.
 
Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're
going to need it..."


 
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome 
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Air Canada 's brand new planes,
but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to
first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and
I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited
on me hand and foot.
 
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a
£5 million remodelling job, and now it's a jewel,
the finest hotel in the city. They too, were
overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"


 
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well
and good, but I bet you didn't get to see the Pope."


 
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we
toured the Vatican , a Swiss Guard tapped me
on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes
to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind
as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
 
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down
and he spoke a few words to me"
 
"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"
He said:
 
"Who the x did your hair?”
 
 
 

[TBWG]

Subject: FW: Southern knowledge
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>   
>
> Alabama
>
>
> A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
>
>
>
> "Where's Henry?" the others asked.
>
>
>
> "Henry had a stroke o' some kind.  He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
>
>
>
> "You left Henry layin' out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
>
> "A tough call," nodded the hunter.  "But I figured no one's gonna  steal Henry!"
>
>
>   
> Georgia
>
> The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
>
>
>
> He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the  University of Georgia and I need some help.  If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
>
>
>
> The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."
>
>
>
>
>   
> Louisiana
>
> A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana .."
>
> When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everythang happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."
>
>
> Mississippi
>
> The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
>
> Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"
>
> The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
>
>
> North Carolina
>
> A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it.  Then he got back in the car to wait.
>
>
>
> A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back.  He asked the fellow what the problem was.
>
> The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."
>
>
>
> The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
>
>
>
> The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back.  I never did understand it neither."
>
>
>   
> Tennessee
>
> A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65.  The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
>
> The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
>
>
> Texas
>
> The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.  The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch?  Don't you see that sign right over your head."
>
>
>
> "Yep," he replied.  "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.' "
>
>
>  ***
>
> Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South, but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North.
>
>
>   
>
>

[TBWG]

The largest condom factory in the States burned down. President Obama was awakened at 4 am by the telephone.
 
"Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA supply of condoms will be used up by the end of the week."
 
Obama: "Oh damn! The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies. We'll be ruined. We'll have to ship some in from Mexico  ..."
 
Telephone voice says, "Bad idea... The Mexicans will have a field day with this one. We'll be a laughing stock. What about the UK?"
 
Obama: "Okay, I'll call Cameron and tell him we need five million condoms, ten inches long and three inches wide. That way, they'll continue to respect us as Americans."
 
Three days later, a delighted President Obama ran out to open the first of the 10,000 boxes that had just arrived. He found it full of condoms, 10 inches long and 3 inches wide, exactly as requested... all coloured with Union Jacks with small writing on each one:
 
’MADE IN ENGLAND - SIZE: SMALL’
 
 
 
A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed... driving his partner nuts.
 
Finally his exasperated partner says, "What the hell is taking so long? Hit the damned ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."
 
"Give me a break! You don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here."
 
 
 
The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough Frequent Flier miles.
 
They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc.
 
Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of s*x.
 
'Just how do you guys do it?' asks Maureen.
 
The Martian responds, 'Pretty much the way you do.'
 
A discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another.. Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weenie member about half an inch long and just a quarter-inch thick.
 
'I don't think this is going to work,' says Maureen.
 
'Why?' he asks. 'What's the matter?'
 
'Well,' she replies, 'it's just not long enough to reach me!'
 
'No problem,' he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's quite impressively long.
 
'Well,' she says, 'that's quite impressive, but it is still narrow.'
 
'No problem,' he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.
 
'Wow!' she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad passionate love.
 
The next day the couples rejoin their other partners and go their separate ways. As they walked along, Mike asks, 'Well, was it any good?'
 
'I hate to say it,' says Maureen, 'but it was wonderful. How about you?'
 
'It was horrible,' he replies. 'All I got was a headache. She kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.'
 
 

[TBWG]

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Asda.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Asda:

Dear Mrs. Harris ,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris , are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras":

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of Maltesers.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' Emergency Medics were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.

And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

One of the Staff passed out.

[TBWG]

ty     -  LETTER TO DAVID CAMERON & ED MILLIBAND


To David Cameron (Prime Minister) & Ed Milliband (Leader of the Opposition) ...

You BOTH Worry me ! ( In fact both of your Political parties worry the hell out of me !!!)

Over the last three years, I find myself becoming more and more fearful of the pair of you, and between you, you are turning this country into a place that I no longer feel at home in, or feel a part of! I watch you in parliament, and no, not just the two of you, but every politician that I see, stand up in parliament sneering at each other, and acting like children !!! (..and if you were my children, I would be ashamed of you all ... What an example to set!)

Although you would like us all to believe that you are putting the needs of this country at the forefront, NEITHER of you are doing that, you seem more interested in "one-up-manship ", in scoring off each other, & denigrating each other, to the detriment of this country & its people !!! It seems to be all about YOU as individuals, and not about what you can DO for this country !
It is fast becoming a place that I do not recognize, as the place I always thought, was the best place in the world to be !!!  But no longer !!!

You are not listening to the people of this country !!!
I am watching the deterioration of living standards in this country, (and according to you, on a world stage we are doing better than most countries ... REALLY ) ... And yet the gap is widening between the "haves" and the "have-nots" . I see our homeless on the streets, our hospitals under-funded, and understaffed, our health system is an absolute mess and a disgrace ... And yet I see multi-millions of dollars being sent offshore, in aid to other countries, before attending to this country's needs !

I see the "selling off of water rights to foreign interests, WHY...?  Especially when you go to great lengths to tell us that water is a finite resource, & supposedly, we must ALL be careful with how we use it, so that we ensure we have it for the future ? A Carbon Tax,( which you KNOW is just another tax ) which will make NO appreciable difference, to carbon emissions, AT ALL!
A tax, which in spite of all your arguments FOR it, you are doing alone, when other major countries will NOT & DO NOT embrace it, or believe in it !

All that it will do for this country is put working families and small businesses behind the eight ball, .....what planet are you on, if you think that the tax we must pay will make even a scrap of difference to the effect of the carbon tax on people? Anyone can see the holes in that argument !!! Do you really think we are that dumb

Let's talk about Multiculturalism ......People have come here from other countries, for a better life, for more years than I have been alive ( I am 72 years old !)

Pre & Post war immigrants came for a better life, and settled in and became wonderful contributors to this country, ... all have contributed to the rich diversity of this country, and some descendants have even fought FOR this country, and they have become U.K.citizens and were glad to be ...and they had NO handouts from our Government either, ...they worked hard for everything!
I have never before had a problem with all, or any, race of immigrants coming here. However, I DO NOW !!!

Please tell me why we have areas in towns and on large estates all over the country, where police do NOT, & will NOT go, for fear of their life ?
Please tell me why we can no longer have religion in schools for fear of "OFFENDING" someone ? (The latest little gem is that they are not having or being funded, for chaplains any more, but Counsellors!)
Please tell me why religious Christmas observances are no longer allowed in some schools for fear of OFFENDING someone ? Please tell me HOW Christmas decorations in some stores might OFFEND someone ? Please tell me why we have to have segregated days in some swimming centres for fear of "OFFENDING" someone ? Please tell me why we have some RADICAL clerics demanding Sharia Law in this country when if we were in THEIR country, this would NEVER be allowed? Please tell me why our laws need to be changed, so as not to OFFEND someone ? Please tell me why we are fast becoming a MINORITY voice, in our own country, because of POLITICAL CORRECTNESS ? Please tell me WHY Britons cannot legally wear a bike helmet covering their head in a bank and yet it is ok to wear a Burqa which covers the whole of the face ? And please tell me WHY, when those people who want asylum here can wreck our detention centres and STILL be accepted here ?


What does that say about just who and what are this government's priorities ?
The British people that I speak to have genuine concerns about becoming a second class minority in our own country, and the reasons for it are some of the above. Are you so blind that you cannot see this ? And no, I am NOT racist !!!  If I did not like Catholics or Protestants would I be considered racist ? Of course not!

Why is it, that if we object to what is happening in our country we are immediately labelled RACIST, in an attempt to shut us up ?

We are fighting Radical Muslims in Afghanistan & Iraq , are we not ? I hear you say, yes but the Muslims we have here are "Not like that " . Well how would we know ? Do we hear ANY of them coming out & speaking AGAINST radicals ? I haven't, have you ? Islam is not compatible with ANY of the values that we hold here in Britain ! Are not the experiences of France and the Netherlands a examples of that? Why do you think it would be any different here ? We even have a British born "radical ", whose message is that Britain WILL become a Muslim country, under Sharia Law, & that we had "better get used to it ".

Will both of you grow some "balls", and start sticking up for this country and its people ? We are the people who put you where you are and PAY you to look after our interests !  And you are NOT doing that by any stretch of the imagination !!!  I would appreciate an answer from both of you, if only to convince me that once again I am not talking to a brick wall !
In case it has escaped both of you I would like to remind you that, in the U.K. Government is FOR THE PEOPLE ... OF THE PEOPLE ... & BY THE PEOPLE ...  Never forget that because you sure have up till now !

 

Let us get this out to all - please keep forwarding and if you have people in the press or if you know Politicians - let them know we are dis-satisfied with their behaviour !

 

[TBWG]

HELL EXPLAINED
> >
> > BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
> >
> >
> >
> > The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry midterm, and an actual answer turned in by a student.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > One student, however, wrote the following:
> >
> > First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
> >
> >
> > Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > This gives two possibilities:
> >
> >
> > 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
> >
> > 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
> >
> > So which is it?
> >
> > If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
> >
> > THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
> >
> >

[TBWG]

  Subject:   
Shower stats
 
 
Date:   
    
 
Subject:  Shower stats
 
*In a recent survey, Australian aboriginal males have proved to be the
most likely to have had sex in the shower!**
 
 
*In the survey, carried out by a leading toiletries firm, a huge
majority, 86%, of aboriginal males, said that they have had sex in the shower.**
 
  *The other 14% said they hadn't been to prison yet.***

[TBWG]

My daughter just walked into the living room and said, "Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, and stereo, and iPhone, and iPod, and my laptop.
Please take all of my jewellery to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then sell my new car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house. Then disown me and never talk to me again. And don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to my brother".
Well, she didn't put it quite like that.
She actually said, "Dad this is my new boyfriend, Mohammed."

[TBWG]

A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed.  As the wife walked through the mall, she was surprised to look up and see her husband was nowhere around. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do.
 
Because she was so worried, she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was.
 
In a calm  voice, the husband said, "Honey, you remember the jewelry store that we went into about 5 years ago -- where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn’t afford and I told you that I would get it for you one day?"
 
The wife choked up and started to cry, saying, "Yes, I remember that jewelry store."
 
He said, "Well, I'm in the bar right next to it."
 

[urleft]

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

[TBWG]

On the sixth day God said to the angel Gabriel
"On this day, I shall create a magic land.
It shall be called "Israel."
It will stand as holy.  Its magnificence will be known the world over.
I will choose to send to this land special people of goodness, intelligence and conviction, so the land shall prosper.
I shall call these inhabitants "Jews."
"Pardon me, Lord", asked Gabriel, "but aren't you being too generous to these Jews?"
"Not really.  Wait and see the neighbours I'm giving them."
 

[TBWG]

First Christmas Joke


Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The Irishman  started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'


The paddy  replied, 'These are Carols.'

And So The Christmas Season
Begins......

[TBWG]

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'


Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'


Ms.. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.


While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.


Principal:
'What is 3 x 3?'

Harry:
'9.'


Principal:
'What is 6 x 6?'


Harry:
'36.'

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade'


Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions..'

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms... Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'


Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'


Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'


The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!


Harry replied: 'Pockets.'


Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'


Harry:
'Pants.'


The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'


Harry: 'Shake hands.'

The principal was trembling.


Ms.. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'

Harry:
'Firetruck.'

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the
teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...'
 
 
 
 

[TBWG]

This one is too good just to post in the HEGS thread!


Involuntary Muscle Contraction?


Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to the first year medical students.
This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know what your arsehole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'
She replied, 'Probably golfing with his mates.'
It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom!