Hi Bums
Wait no longer here is the GP report you have all been waiting for.............................Well I had better get it out before Malaysia tomorrow, that should be a goody!
Well I am finally back from my trip to the Australian GP and hope to provide you with in depth coverage of all the action. However, firstly when I arrived at the GP press office and demanded my Buriram Expats accreditation pack I was told " Pom, go pee up a rope" it transpires that we had not paid the registration fee of US$25,000 in used notes! I argued that this was tantamount to blackmail and demanded to report this disgraceful situation to Mr Ecclestone. Only to be told that said dosh should be put in a plain brown envelope addressed to Mr B Ecclestone! So I doubt I would get much sympathy there!
So I excused myself with as much dignity as I could muster and adjourned to the grandstand. On the way I made a purchase of a can of Boag's Best beer .... A$ 6.50 yup A$ 6.50 now for us economically challenged Brits that's 4 quid a can! not even a pint! Being a cheap Charlie used to drinking Archa at 35 baht a large bottle, the chances of me getting pissed on this jolly was exceedingly slim.
First of all a bit of background about Melbourne, I stayed in the CBD (city business district) nice wide roads (ideal for doing donuts and burn outs in the Merc) well organised tram system and compliant pedestrians who to the man obey the crossing signals. So I arrived mid-dayish and was staggered by all the places to eat in fact almost every shop was a restaurant, bistro or coffee house so I was salivating at the choice and planning my evening meals should I not get an invite to the GP ball or be entertained by any of the teams!
Imagine my surprise when after being left off the GP ball guest list due to some admin blunder I went to the CBD to have a bite to eat only to find that all of the eating places closed at 5.00 pm when the office workers go home! So my first meal in Oz a burger in Nando's!
Well back to the cars, lot's of supporting races with the V8 saloons being the Aussie's favourites, only 2 makes Ford or Holden with the country split 50/50 with bitter rivalry, but we are here for the big boys F1!
Now everyone covers the big boys so I will start at the a**e end of the grid with the newcomers.... Virgin Racing, Lotus and HRT (can you believe that name) Given their lack of lead time and the fact that they had no choice but to use the least powerful engine on the grid I feel they have made a sterling effort, the cars all look the part but have been let down by hydraulic gear selection problems in the X-trac gearboxes which are bought in components. Lotus are the team to beat in this group I think mainly due to the fact they have 2 established race winning drivers in the team and did not need to employ pay drivers.
Over the entire GP duration the weather was very changeable, rain, sun, wind, hot & cold in fact I learnt this is typical Melbourne weather, a bummer for a travelling light tourist but great for spicing up the racing and thanks too the late start rain conveniently arrived during some sessions
This leads to a some of the new boys doing a lot of rally crossing and "Kamikaze" Kobayashi trashing a couple of nose wings on what I think is the best looking car on the grid i.e. the Ferrari engined BMW Sauber (go figure that out).
By now all the Aussies are in a state of near bliss as home boy Mark Webber qualifies on the front row and they are all convinced its a done deal and he has a win in the bag!
Row 1 Sebastian Vettel 1′23.919
Red Bull-Renault
Mark Webber 1′24.035
Red Bull-Renault
Row 2 Fernando Alonso 1′24.111
Ferrari
Jenson Button 1′24.675
McLaren-Mercedes
Row 3 Felipe Massa 1′24.837
Ferrari
Nico Rosberg 1′24.884
Mercedes
Row 4 Michael Schumacher 1′24.927
Mercedes
Rubens Barrichello 1′25.217
Williams-Cosworth
Row 5 Robert Kubica 1′25.372
Renault
Adrian Sutil 1′26.036
Force India-Mercedes
Row 6 Lewis Hamilton 1′25.184
McLaren-Mercedes
Sebastien Buemi 1′25.638
Toro Rosso-Ferrari
Row 7 Vitantonio Liuzzi 1′25.743
Force India-Mercedes
Pedro de la Rosa 1′25.747
Sauber-Ferrari
Row 8 Nico Hülkenberg 1′25.748
Williams-Cosworth
Kamui Kobayashi 1′25.777
Sauber-Ferrari
Row 9 Jaime Alguersuari 1′26.089
Toro Rosso-Ferrari
Vitaly Petrov 1′26.471
Renault
Row 10 Heikki Kovalainen 1′28.797
Lotus-Cosworth
Jarno Trulli 1′29.111
Lotus-Cosworth
Row 11 Timo Glock 1′29.592
Virgin-Cosworth
Lucas di Grassi 1′30.185
Virgin-Cosworth
Row 12 Bruno Senna 1′30.526
HRT-Cosworth
Karun Chandhok 1′30.613
HRT-Cosworth
Well after a days racing a good meal is required, so I have now located Lygon street which is were all the restaurants are situated, it is also known as "Little Italy" and things there are a bit subdued as they can't quite make out if their glass is half empty or half full. I sympathise as a Brit things could be better (we are in the half empty category). But what the hell I'll have a Thai meal and the lamb massaman curry hits the spot!
By now we all know what happened next ............ Rain arrives dead on time at 5.00pm Saturday start time. Alonso does a pirouette right in front of yours truly and gets away dead last even after the chase car! Must admit I am not a fan of "The Brat" but he did well to recover to 4th, Kamikaze took flying lessons over the top of Hulkenberg, Hamilton was sacrificed for a look at his tyres to Buttons benefit. Vettel conveniently parked it after disappearing into the distance and Kubica surprised everyone by bringing it home 2nd. Home boy Webber converted his win into an 8th place. Button did the business for a GB win,
I did not do too much cheering for fear of getting a fat lip from irate Aussie's but sod the expense I did sink a few beers.
Your F1 sporting correspondent TBWG
PS Admin I will send some video clips via e mail to you for attachment as soon as I figure out how to download the bl**dy things from my Iphone!!
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