Am I Gay?

[dave the dude]

Warning straight off: Statements below may not be deemed Politically Correct  
 
 
Am I Gay?' Self Examination For Men

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay -- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-B-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you're in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he goes wherever he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you own designer kneepads. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man  there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't ha ve memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is, you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a fag.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat . A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut off the jerk. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a burger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings, then you are definitely on the verge on being a fudgepacker!!  
 
I hope you passed the test friends.
It is alright if you need to make the necessary changesin your life.

 .

[Admin]

  that was funny.. come on buriramians..tell us what scores you've got. 

[rogercmr]

As a gay man looking to posibly live in Buriram i should take offence    Butt iv heard it all before and so much worce and dont give a rats bottem so i must be a gay man in a straight mans boddy   

[dave the dude]

Hi Roger
I take the p!ss out of myself as much as others. Its an English thing,I believe. 
I have many friends here in Thailand and dont care about which way they swing (as long as they have a sense of humour).
I hope you will be happy in Isaan

Dave 

[rogercmr]

Hi Dave  no offence taken Im English myself. I dont know how politcaly corect or incorect thailand is  ,thats because i cant speak thai It is one of the atractions not being able to know what right or wrong or what the signs say about weather you can or cant do this or that Australia has lost its way im sorry to say.there is a pub in perth that has so many signs outside you would have died of thirst if you bothered to read them all   

[Lourens]

Shouldn't this be moved to the relevant category?

[dave the dude]

yes, but with someone else's name on it please cos I am straight.

I nominate TBWG 
I thought it was just a joke, but then again 

[Lourens]

Dear ADMIN,

Seeing that this is now in the relevant category, can you now please remove my previous post to avoid confusion you see.

Thanks.

P.S. And this one too...   :blush:

[Admin]

hehe... I think we'll just keep it open,its livin up the "gays in buriram" forum, as we do have only 1 gay member here (or so we only know...  :tongue2: ) lets cheer him up maybe some friends will show up here in this forum.

but seriously,its a good point,gays in buriram,do not have gay bars/ clubs..
now that I think about it , the only place I see so many gays and katoys as well.. is in "speed" disco .. so here I gave my 2 cents advice on "Where gays can be found in Buriram".

 Good luck.

[rogercmr]

Speed Disco ! now having not yet been to Buriram i wonder just what the word SPEED stands for   

[dave the dude]

Hi Roger
That, I am afraid to say, is a far to sensible question inrespect to English written posters/names/adverts here in Thailand.
They quite often just don't make sense and are sometimes even funny. BTW, there is a Speed 3 disco here in Surin.
The '3' indicates the number of times its relocated in recent history  . Its a very good and friendly club now that its reopened after a 50million Baht upgrade.
You can now even hear yourself speak in there now. 

Dave

[lahansai]

Have been in Speed disco in Buriram 1 time only 1 year ago.

But hey,just because I went to Speed doesn't mean I'm gay.  

I like Thailand is open minded and you can see all kind of people if its hetrosexual,gays or even ladyboys.
All welcome and enjoy together,thats Speed environment. all people together never mind who and how old you are.
 

[dave the dude]

Have been in Speed disco in Buriram 1 time only 1 year ago.

But hey,just because I went to Speed doesn't mean I'm gay.  

I like Thailand is open minded and you can see all kind of people if its hetroxxxual,gays or even ladyboys.
All welcome and enjoy together,thats Speed environment. all people together never mind who and how old you are.
 

Yes, I fully agree with you(the last para, not the middle one as I dont know you 

Dave

[urleft]

While I was sitting in the Bamboo Bar in April sure looked like a ladyboy want-to-be dancing in the street during Songkran  .  He/She was really strutting their stuff.   

[lahansai]

so did you squirt on him/her or what?
you know............songkran!!