living in thailand on low budget.

[james]

want to advice with you if you do not mind.

Do you feel sometimes to go away from thailand? do you think often about divorce?
this is really hard for me even to talk about it. i really love my wife but feel sometimes very bad with her.
I have money but not much,mind you,I am not a rich guy but can take care my BASIC needs and sometimes not often allow myself some luxuries like going out to disco and shopping on limited budget.

the thing is i feel that whenever I can supply and make the money for the house I'm worth in the eyes of my wife and myself also of course. but when its the time of stress and need to limit our budget to almost Zero,my wife really get not nice to me and it really make me angry maybe I should just go away and start a new life 2nd chapter in my homecountry and not in thailand here.
sometimes i feel like i'm the worker and my wife is doing nothing,kind of true. so what she has to complain about?
she gets really not nice if no money, and do not understand have times like this,if no money and left some small money she do not understand "saving" meaning.
for her-if no have money,lets spend some more as we don't have so it will not really matter if we spend more. 

so now,your advice. maybe you have some different perspective on the situation.

[dave the dude]

want to advice with you if you do not mind.

Do you feel sometimes to go away from thailand? do you think often about divorce?
this is really hard for me even to talk about it. i really love my wife but feel sometimes very bad with her.
I have money but not much,mind you,I am not a rich guy but can take care my BASIC needs and sometimes not often allow myself some luxuries like going out to disco and shopping on limited budget.

the thing is i feel that whenever I can supply and make the money for the house I'm worth in the eyes of my wife and myself also of course. but when its the time of stress and need to limit our budget to almost Zero,my wife really get not nice to me and it really make me angry maybe I should just go away and start a new life 2nd chapter in my homecountry and not in thailand here.
sometimes i feel like i'm the worker and my wife is doing nothing,kind of true. so what she has to complain about?
she gets really not nice if no money, and do not understand have times like this,if no money and left some small money she do not understand "saving" meaning.
for her-if no have money,lets spend some more as we don't have so it will not really matter if we spend more. 

so now,your advice. maybe you have some different perspective on the situation.

Maybe you need to act like a Thai man and not an ATM.
Tell her to get a job and pay her way

NEXT

[urleft]

Maybe you need to act like a Thai man and not an ATM.
Tell her to get a job and pay her way

NEXT

What compassion here.   

I am sure James will post again soon with a reception like that.   

[james]

want to advice with you if you do not mind.

Do you feel sometimes to go away from thailand? do you think often about divorce?
this is really hard for me even to talk about it. i really love my wife but feel sometimes very bad with her.
I have money but not much,mind you,I am not a rich guy but can take care my BASIC needs and sometimes not often allow myself some luxuries like going out to disco and shopping on limited budget.

the thing is i feel that whenever I can supply and make the money for the house I'm worth in the eyes of my wife and myself also of course. but when its the time of stress and need to limit our budget to almost Zero,my wife really get not nice to me and it really make me angry maybe I should just go away and start a new life 2nd chapter in my homecountry and not in thailand here.
sometimes i feel like i'm the worker and my wife is doing nothing,kind of true. so what she has to complain about?
she gets really not nice if no money, and do not understand have times like this,if no money and left some small money she do not understand "saving" meaning.
for her-if no have money,lets spend some more as we don't have so it will not really matter if we spend more. 

so now,your advice. maybe you have some different perspective on the situation.

Maybe you need to act like a Thai man and not an ATM.
Tell her to get a job and pay her way

NEXT

Dave, what is this answer? why do you think i'm acting like an atm? I wish I could but if you read my messege carefully you will see i already mentioned we are working for our living and the money is not coming from any oversea income.

maybe you should try this tactic with your wife and tell her :GO TO WORK
come back here later and report us the results. 

NEXT !

[dave the dude]

want to advice with you if you do not mind.

Do you feel sometimes to go away from thailand? do you think often about divorce?
this is really hard for me even to talk about it. i really love my wife but feel sometimes very bad with her.
I have money but not much,mind you,I am not a rich guy but can take care my BASIC needs and sometimes not often allow myself some luxuries like going out to disco and shopping on limited budget.

the thing is i feel that whenever I can supply and make the money for the house I'm worth in the eyes of my wife and myself also of course. but when its the time of stress and need to limit our budget to almost Zero,my wife really get not nice to me and it really make me angry maybe I should just go away and start a new life 2nd chapter in my homecountry and not in thailand here.
sometimes i feel like i'm the worker and my wife is doing nothing,kind of true. so what she has to complain about?
she gets really not nice if no money, and do not understand have times like this,if no money and left some small money she do not understand "saving" meaning.
for her-if no have money,lets spend some more as we don't have so it will not really matter if we spend more. 

so now,your advice. maybe you have some different perspective on the situation.

Maybe you need to act like a Thai man and not an ATM.
Tell her to get a job and pay her way

NEXT

Dave, what is this answer? why do you think i'm acting like an atm? I wish I could but if you read my messege carefully you will see i already mentioned we are working for our living and the money is not coming from any oversea income.

maybe you should try this tactic with your wife and tell her :GO TO WORK
come back here later and report us the results. 

NEXT !

Hi James 
I apologise if I was a bit harsh or blunt.
Its just your post seems to suggest you are very insecure about your relationship. YOU suggested you feel like 'the worker and your wife is doing nothing' so my feeling is yuo need to try to resolve these issues and work as a team. Do you ever have a really good talk to her and express your feelings/worries? I know that is not the Thai or Big Man way, but sometimes it works.

For your information, I have done this tactic and my wife IS working very hard for little money in our Minimart/salon. I know you get many 'desktop' critics on the web but I still stand by what I said and never say something here, that I would not say to someones face; but once again, I am sorry if the sentiments were too strong for you.

Good Luck
Dave

[swimming pizza]

many make this mistake and think coming to live in thailand is so easy just to find out women all over the world are the same !!!     

[urleft]

I am still a when dealing with Thai Women, but what I have observed is that most of them when money is available they are going to spend it.

So I have come to the conclusion the I am responsible for the budget, and just provide was is within my resouces.    If she doesn't lke it she can as Dave says get a job.   

 Cheers   

[nookiebear]

The dilemma the OP is in is not uncommon over here I'm afraid.........You have few opyions ,,,either stick it out & hope she sees sense or move on,,,,plenty more fish in the sea.........

[james]

nookiebear, it is very easy to say "many fishes in the sea" but when you invest all your resources and money,heart in a place you do not really want to go and search another fish, you feel comfortable already and want just to make things better.
I find thai people very hard when it comes to times of cutting costs,like its unbelievable make me feel guilty for not having enough money to buy all the goods needed for the house /basics+ so add into that she is not working and i'm the only supportive part of the family. you can get the picture.
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THIS PROBLEM?
do you give a daily budget to your wife to spend? how much is your monthly budget ?
not trying to get into your pocket but want to know how to compare with my situation. be honest. dont throw numbers like 10,000 baht a month because i dont think it is possible to do anywhere in thailand as farangs we have some special things in life need to buy and do which thai not even bother with.
good example is the insurance. tired2

[pbee]

Hi James. I don't think your problem is strictly related to Thai women, I believe it is endemic in all women. Maybe you should be less open with your wife on your financial circumstances. Have a secret stash hidden away somewhere safe. This will stop you worrying about your financial security and lead to less arguments. When you have to use some of it to pay a bill for instance you can always say you borrowed it from a friend or something. If you were to buy her a treat out of the blue now and again this will help also, just don't let on where the money came from, maybe you won a bet with someone. If you have 20thou baht tell her you have 15thou let her spend it all, she will be happy and you will be OK.
    Before anyone slags me off for acting underhand or being deceitful, yes I know,but I have a happy relationship.
 As for the question on how much you should be spending. I am afraid there are to many variables for an honest answer. We all live our lives differently. My advice on the divorce issue is not to be to hasty, you obviously have built a life for yourself and generally like what it gives on a personal level. To leave that behind and to start again would be daunting. PLENTY OF FISH in the sea, yea OK for a night out, but not as a soul mate to share your life with. Hope all goes well for you.
       PS If my wife reads this I am in the sh**.

[dave the dude]

What would she do if you weren't around?

[Alanthebuilder]

That could be a bit personal Dave .
Depending on the lady of course . 

[dave the dude]

That could be a bit personal Dave .
Depending on the lady of course . 

I was not meant to be cos there are only 2 answers....

1) go to work
2) go gold-digging

[james]

i guess i will have to wait and see how things with the wife, dont want to break this relationship we really long time together and it will be bad idea to end it now.
you tend to laugh at this situation. but honestlly- will your wife stay with you without any money in the pocket?
SOME of you found your wifes in some dubious places, 2-3 times younger than you. so the money issue is a VERY BIG DEAL when it comes to relationship between farang to thai.
dont be offended from the last sentence it is just reflection of reality. 

[swimming pizza]

james.but thats life.you have to know it by now.how old are you? all women want money and giving love in return.its like this everywhere in the world and thailand is not different. the only difference is- it cost cheaper.
for example,if you divorce from your thai wife you will lose small money relatively to if you were in england.
old people take young girls because they can do it here!!!
for no money in the world most!! women in england will not go with old stanley for a few pounds. but here............. THEY DO!! so you are not in england and dont think you can throw all the life experience you had or not in england to your thai partner.