Life with the Thai Wife

[Wozza]

A duck walks into a bar and orders a Leo to take away, that will be 50 baht please , duck says just put it on my bill.
 

[Freddy]

Well the duck saga continued however it finally yielded a happy ending.

It must be duck season. Another duck chick truck came by the house 3 days ago and again the light of my life yelled to advise me that man have ducks!!

Not one to be beaten but admittedly with a degree of hesitation, I asked Noi, what type of ducks are they. Shed obviously given the matter some thought and for a change listened.

I suggested that she ask the man what type of ducks they are but to mention Khaki Campbell.

Less than a minute later she ran up the drive beaming and announced ? He have, he have, kaaakeeee cam-bell.

Your sure I asked, Yes Yes Yes she shouted. I not say name just ask. He tell me in Thai and I ask if he know what in English and he say Kaaaaaakeeee cam-bell, call Stuart, call Stuart?.

Buy 30 I said.

Call Stuart she said.

Just get 30 I said. I will call him in a minute but get 30.

Better call she says.

Noi, just get 30, he wants them.

You want 30?? Yes 30. Just get them.

I returned to my tiling but became aware that Noi had not arrived back from the street with a box of ducks.

I called to her, what?s happening.

Stuart answer ?? She says.

No I reply, I havent called him yet. buy 30.

You want me to get?

Yes, 30.

You sure?

Yes, Im sure, get 30!!

Looks at me, does nothing.

Noi, FFS......buy 30 ducks, just for once do what I ask without making it so hard and complicated.

But......

Noi, buy 30 bloody ducks now.

Why you angry??

Anyway, Stuart has his 30 Khaki Campbell ( Kaaaakeeeee Cam-bell) duck chicks and to date all 30 are doing well with one of his existg Mother Ducks assuming an adoptive role.

When he arrived to pick them up I didnt whether to laugh or cry as Noi explained to him how she had found the Kaaaaakee Cam-bells he wanted and had got him 30 because she knew he wanted them and had waited a long time to find them.

Oh well.

[mahdam]

Well the duck saga continued however it finally yielded a happy ending.

It must be duck season. Another duck chick truck came by the house 3 days ago and again the light of my life yelled to advise me that man have ducks!!

Not one to be beaten but admittedly with a degree of hesitation, I asked Noi, what type of ducks are they. Shed obviously given the matter some thought and for a change listened.

I suggested that she ask the man what type of ducks they are but to mention Khaki Campbell.

Less than a minute later she ran up the drive beaming and announced ? He have, he have, kaaakeeee cam-bell.

Your sure I asked, Yes Yes Yes she shouted. I not say name just ask. He tell me in Thai and I ask if he know what in English and he say Kaaaaaakeeee cam-bell, call Stuart, call Stuart?.

Buy 30 I said.

Call Stuart she said.

Just get 30 I said. I will call him in a minute but get 30.

Better call she says.

Noi, just get 30, he wants them.

You want 30?? Yes 30. Just get them.

I returned to my tiling but became aware that Noi had not arrived back from the street with a box of ducks.

I called to her, what?s happening.

Stuart answer ?? She says.

No I reply, I havent called him yet. buy 30.

You want me to get?

Yes, 30.

You sure?

Yes, Im sure, get 30!!

Looks at me, does nothing.

Noi, FFS......buy 30 ducks, just for once do what I ask without making it so hard and complicated.

But......

Noi, buy 30 bloody ducks now.

Why you angry??

Anyway, Stuart has his 30 Khaki Campbell ( Kaaaakeeeee Cam-bell) duck chicks and to date all 30 are doing well with one of his existg Mother Ducks assuming an adoptive role.

When he arrived to pick them up I didnt whether to laugh or cry as Noi explained to him how she had found the Kaaaaakee Cam-bells he wanted and had got him 30 because she knew he wanted them and had waited a long time to find them.

Oh well.

Ha Ha Ha! That describes perfectly how my wife would have reacted in a similar situation.
I can spend ages sometimes describing what exactly it is I want in a shop or builders merchants, I ask her does she understand, and she get's offended and I get the do you think I am stupid look, or comment.
We go into the shop, she says something to the assistant, they ask a question in return, and at that point she forgets everything I told her previously and we have to go through the whole thing again. Happens every time!

[DeputyDavid]

OR, you go to a shop ask the wife to ask staff for a particular item. A good five minutes or mor of talking Thai and I ask ?what did she say??  Usual response ?no have!? Wait, all that talking and all that was said is ?no have??

Yes she says. 

I?ve learned the hard way not to take it further!

[secosteve]

On a similar note, I was sitting in a local bar with my wife and a Canadian friend. We were chatting when a motorcycle stopped outside with three not unattractive young ladies on board. They were dressed similar in skimpy tops and tight fitting denim shorts.
Canadian friend, "Look at that Steve".
Me,"What I can see nothing".
Wife,"You know what". (dig in the ribs)
Friend,"Do they realise they are sitting on a fortune"
Wife,"What you mean it is only a Suzuki".
I started to chuckle, another dig in the ribs, and my friend was almost rolling on the floor.

[Starman]

Isn't it time for some expats to start learning to speak Thai?

Most spoken languages use only 3000 words for general conversation. Living in the country where the language is spoken is a huge advantage as you are "immersed" in the language on a daily basis.

Only 2 words a day for just under 5 years and you have the standard to hold a general conversation.

How many expats have been living here longer than 5 years?

[DeputyDavid]

Not yet but getting close. So far I can ask for food at a restaurant, ask where the toilet is, greet people, and know fairly well how much is asked for at the check out. Still can?t get turtle right, the tones all sound same to me.

[mahdam]

Isn't it time for some expats to start learning to speak Thai?

Most spoken languages use only 3000 words for general conversation. Living in the country where the language is spoken is a huge advantage as you are "immersed" in the language on a daily basis.

Only 2 words a day for just under 5 years and you have the standard to hold a general conversation.

How many expats have been living here longer than 5 years?

That's as may be Starman, but even if we could speak the language word perfect we would never understand in a million years what goes on in their heads.

[Starman]

Isn't it time for some expats to start learning to speak Thai?

Most spoken languages use only 3000 words for general conversation. Living in the country where the language is spoken is a huge advantage as you are "immersed" in the language on a daily basis.

Only 2 words a day for just under 5 years and you have the standard to hold a general conversation.

How many expats have been living here longer than 5 years?

That's as may be Starman, but even if we could speak the language word perfect we would never understand in a million years what goes on in their heads.

Thinking and wanting to do things differently maybe but understanding, no. The more language I learn, still picking things up after 20 years, the more it helps me with the Thai way of doing things. Meeting somewhere in the middle is amicable.

[urleft]

I can speak over 10,000 Thai words, meaning I can count to 9999.  But even numbers are hard to understand when Thai's talk at normal speed.  Usually after 5 minutes at places like the post office I get into the rhythm of understanding the mechanical voice calling the next number. 


Unfortunately I'm near tone deaf so when the TW tries to teach me a word we are often both frustrated when after several minutes I still cannot pronounce it correctly even though I think I am repeating what she is saying.   


speak slowly -

พูดช้าๆ

[Starman]

I can speak over 10,000 Thai words, meaning I can count to 9999.  But even numbers are hard to understand when Thai's talk at normal speed.  Usually after 5 minutes at places like the post office I get into the rhythm of understanding the mechanical voice calling the next number. 


Unfortunately I'm near tone deaf so when the TW tries to teach me a word we are often both frustrated when after several minutes I still cannot pronounce it correctly even though I think I am repeating what she is saying.   


speak slowly -

พูดช้าๆ

A good example of trying to over complicate things.

In fact, in order to speak to 9999 you only need to know 14 words. All numbers from 1 to 9999 will be combinations of those 14 words, making numbers easy to understand. Why not go the whole hog, learn 2 more words, and be able to count to 999999?

[Freddy]

Starman, in theory you are absolutely correct.
My only problem would be that if I could understand all that was said and could speak back I think I may have more arguments than I currently do.
The bullshit that was coming out from the guy and his family after he hit me in his truck a few weeks ago........if I had understood at the time I would have ended up in cuffs.


But.....yes, I have been far to lazy.

[Starman]

Starman, in theory you are absolutely correct.
My only problem would be that if I could understand all that was said and could speak back I think I may have more arguments than I currently do.
The bullshit that was coming out from the guy and his family after he hit me in his truck a few weeks ago........if I had understood at the time I would have ended up in cuffs.


But.....yes, I have been far to lazy.

They are likely saying things because they know (think) that you don't understand.

A few years back a student went into the side of my pick up. She ended up in a heap on the floor. I woman came running over to help her. It was a quiet part of town and not much traffic. I didn't move my car so that the police would know whose fault it was. The student was underage to be riding, I knew this down to the style of uniform she was wearing. Anyway, the woman started advising the girl what to say. When I heard what she was saying I gave her a  bit of a rant in Thai. She soon shut up and disappeared.

Old pick up with dents in it anyway so one more did not matter. Problem solved road side when police ordered the girls parents to give me two thousand baht. The other woman was nowhere to be seen.

[Freddy]

Maybe so but my wife was there and I had to pull her away before she knocked the guys wife out. So not just about what they think can be understood. 

[Prakhonchai Nick]

You lot may be OK in Buriram when it comes to understanding a bit of Thai,  but down here in Prakhonchai, most folk speak a version of Khmer nearly all of the time