Aussie Army vet nearly dies. Heroic wife

[smoooth2]

Journos often bend a headline to make a good story. Hows this one.
            _______________________________________________________________

Australian Army vet grapples with huge bull. Sustains terrible injuries. Nearly dies. Heroic wife
            _______________________________________________________________

Last Tuesday, ex Aust Army soldier Bill Twomey, had a near death experience, grappling with a 1200kg prime Santa Gertrudis bull.

Twomey, now 53 and working as a long distance linehaul truckie, came across the huge bull at 4am near remote Sandfire Roadhouse 2300km NW of Perth.

"It was one of the scariest things I've ever encountered." recalls Bill

"I've done two tours of Iraq, but this beats everything. There I was, cruising along happily with a 90 tonne triple road train behind me ... and there he was ... right in the middle of the road !"

"He was a monster. I reckon he'd been camped there for a while, judging by the huge piles of shit all over the road."

"I slammed the brakes on to avoid him, pulling up just metres from the monster. The big bastard didn't move an inch."

"Fortunately, my missus was with me. We sat there for maybe 5 minutes discussing what to do."

"Go for it." the missus said. " She was incredibly supportive, and gave me heaps of confidence to tackle the beast."

"Now ... I've done 15 years as a mechanic with the Army Transport Logistic Corps, and I'm a 1st Class expert with chromium plated Sidchrome tools, wheel braces and tyre levers."

"I approached the beast with faltering steps, a 4kg 1.5m long tyre lever in hand. Now, these big bulls are pretty feral and cunning and will charge trucks and cars and can do a lot of damage. I didn't want that."

"So ... when I got real close to him, I gave the fcuker half a dozen really good whacks on the head with my tyre lever."

"He didn't flinch, so I gave him another half a dozen whacks for good measure. You know. Just to make sure."

"He was dead alright. Had been for a couple of days I reckon. Bloated up like a barrage balloon. If I'd hit him with the truck, he'd have flipped us over real easy."

"He was too big to drive around, so we had to drag him off the road. Not easy to move 1200kg of bloated beef. Anyway ... I grappled for hours to move him. Nearly killed me."

"The missus was really supportive, and made coffee for the curious caravanner onlookers that pulled up to watch. Made 37 bucks on that. She's my hero."

"Two hours of grunting and farting, and I'm done. Got the beast off the road. Now I've got a fcuking big hernia and I'm off work for 3 weeks. But I survived the experience ok."

"When I got home, the boss gave me a bill to replace the bent tyre lever. Prick."