Beer or Sex

[Westlife]

Hypothetically speaking........if your Doctor told you "You had to give up Beer or Sex" which one would you give up and why ?

As I don't drink beer as a rule ,unless I'm out at a restaurant or maybe the odd one when I'm on Holiday  ... I would be more than happy to drink water or soft-drinks so my choice is quite simple 

So what would you chose



or

[DeputyDavid]

Gladly give up the beer, take up Jack Daniels.   

[urleft]

Heard that last time Nookie was in sin city a TG came up to him and asked: "Want some Super Sex?"


Nookie thought for a second and said "I'll have soup."

[Westlife]

Gladly give up the beer, take up Jack Daniels.   

 

Maybe I should have said Alcohol or Sex 

There is always alcohol free beer

[Westlife]

Heard that last time Nookie was in sin city a TG came up to him and asked: "Want some Super Sex?"


Nookie thought for a second and said "I'll have soup."

 

[Westlife]

Heard that last time Nookie was in sin city a TG came up to him and asked: "Want some Super Sex?"


Nookie thought for a second and said "I'll have soup."

Nookie spots a nice looking girl in a Beer Bar ,so he goes up and starts some small talk. Seeing that she thinks he is a sexy man he asked her name.

"Carmen," she replied.

That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"

"No, I named myself, she answered.

"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"

"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.

Nookie replied "Beersex." 

[mxyzptlk]

If my doctor told me I had to give up beer or sex, I'd find another doctor.....

[Westlife]

More Nookie sex and beer jokes 


A sexy girl Bar Girl  looks at Nookie's big beer belly and asks: Is that Chang or Leo ?

Nookie replies ...."There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself ? " 


Q: What is Nookies idea of a balanced diet?

A: A Chang in each hand!   


Nookie goes to see the Doctor.
After examination the Doctor says "Sorry Nookie I have some bad news, we will have to cut one of your lungs out."
Nookie is astonished and says  " But doctor, my lungs have always been great, I have never had any problems with them."
The Doctor replies " Yes I know but we need to make more room for your liver ". 


Nookie rushes into a doctor's surgery and says  "Doc, you gotta help me! I'm turning orange down there! It's gonna fall off!

The doctor, who has no idea what this could be, gives him a prescription, and says "if this hasn't healed up in a week, come back and see me!"

Sure enough, a week later, Nookie shows up, very  upset and says "Doc, the pills you gave me didn't help! It's worse now! You gotta help me, or it's gonna fall off!"

The doctor, still trying to maintain his professionalism, prescribes him a stronger dose, and says "if this hasn't healed up in a month, come back and see me!"

Less than a month later, Nookie goes bursting into his office. "Doc, I'm really serious. It's fluorescent now. IT'S GONNA FALL OFF!!!"

The doctor takes him into his conference room, and asks him calm down. "Now, what do you think it is? says Nookie.
 
The Doctor replies " It could be Stress related or job related, what sort of job do you have ?"

Nookie answers "well, it can't be job related as I don't have a job!"

The doctor says "you don't have a job, then what the hell do you do all day?"

Nookie replies  " I drink Beer,I watch pornos and eat cheesy wotsits most days ..." 

[Westlife]

Loads of views but only 4 posters have made an effort to post 

I guess the rest of you are  to pissed to use a kekboard 

[Westlife]

Or maybe you're doing other things 

[Westlife]

NEWS FLASH

Yesterday, scientists in the USA revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they gave 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started to talk nonsense and couldn't drive.

More news as it happens

www.Westreports.com/newsflash