Recent visit to buriram

[Tallguyeric]

Hi! First of all have to say sorry to the admin coz I promise him that I will post my info when I'm back from the trip. Sorry also to my poor english,hope u all understand what I m writing here.
     I land on bangkok on the 10th April and have to wait for my gf to finish working in her salon in ekkamai then only can go back to buriram on 11th night.At first,we thought of taking the bus to her hometown but the ticket is already sold out by beginning of April.So no choice, have to take a van back,it was a painful journey from me coz the van pick us up including her sister around 6.30p.m and by the time we reach around prakon chai is almost 10.30a.m plus the van carry almost 15 people including the co and the driver.For your info I'm around 193cm tall,so after I coming down to the prakon chai bus station my leg is very pain and can't even walk.
     The driver told me and my gf to take the bus to buriram coz by the time he drop all the remaing passenger to their house,it will be very late for us already coz we will be the last 1 he send us to the hotel.The bus arrive arond 11.10am and
around 12 we reach buriram already.Finally we reach buriram and the admin is already waiting for us.He is very helpful with us for the info.We rent the car from him and finally can rest in the hotel.
      After a short rest,my gf got a call from her family asking when we will be going to their house.Therefore we have to rush again out to go back to her place in phalppa chai.Buy the BBQ ingredient then head home to her house,which is about 30 minutes from the town.Meet all her family member and start the dinner.
     The next morning have to wake up around 6 am to pick her family up then went for the temple for praying.My gf told me that it is a short praying only.Reach the temple around 7.30am,the monk is just finish eating so have to wait for a while,her family member chatting with monk until around 10 am then finally the praying start.The praying only last 20 minutes.After that send them home and rest back at the hotel.Night time also having dinner at her house.Just discover that the chang beer is so damn cheap,1 carton of 12 bottle is just only 430 bht.
      By end of the dinner,suddenly her grandma starting to ask my gf about our plan of marriage,I nad my gf already 3 year together,on and off we will fly to each other to meet up.So tell them that is already planning but not so soon.She 
 ask for 100k for the dowry but I manage to neg till 75k. Luckily that my gf tell them will save enough money for the dowry only will marry.Her father mention that he will prepare a small praying ceremony plus the food so i no need to pay so much.
      The next day,got a call from her friend and ask us to follow up the new of bangkok coz there is some riot in the city.Quite worry,luckily they didn't close the airport.Manage to visit the historic site at phanom rum.Back to her house then we gear up and all the children to town for water war.
      The last day just hang on around the town after a long sleep,return the car and head back to bangkok by bus.
So will return to buriram by next year for wedding.By June,my gf will come to stay with me and register & marry in my place.Hope to see u all soon.

[Admin]

Great report. 

Thanks.

[maraudingscot]

Hiya, cool. good report. and she only wanted 100K.   

I talked to my gf today, and although marriage question has come up before, today was serious talk    As I said how about November for wedding and what was involved. lol She say first I must pay mama/papa 300,000 Baht to marry her 

Now I know that there is usually some sort of discussion re money, though my g/f has had previous boyfriend pay, she has a 5yr old daughter from first boyfriend. Second boyfriend coughed up money to from what I can understand.  She wants me to pay again! yeah do not mind coughing up some money for wedding part etc etc, but 300,000 Baht!    SOOOOO I feel that I maybe getting ripped off here! thoughts?

Yep its the old sinsod subject again, sorry admin did look for section but could not find

 

[rethumper]

hi marauding scott>i'm a as  well>lucky i read a book "Thailand Fever"in thai&english section mentioned if g/f is previously married no dowery expected > i negotited 100000 <to50000bt10 bahdt gold>after 2 3/4 years she either got tired waiting for visa,cold feet,found a more generous sponsor or ?? lawyer advised buy house before marry.
http://www.thailandfever.com info for westerner marry thai > hope this helps>

[dave the dude]

Thailand Fever is a very good book for newbies.
As a farang cannot own land in Thailand, I told my (now) wife she is living in her 'sin sod' so I gave nothing.

I am aware this is not just a farang/Thai arrangement but feel it is outdated and not widespread across Thailand. In many instances the money is all about family 'face' and its secretly
returned to the new couple after the wedding. You need to be aware that in Isaan, they think we have unlimited funds and grow money on tree's. 
Think of your future financial commitments because no-one else will. You might also want to mention, that in the western world, it is the custom for the brides family to pay for the wedding

Happy Negotiations 

[nookiebear]

Thailand Fever is a very good book for newbies.
As a farang cannot own land in Thailand, I told my (now) wife she is living in her 'sin sod' so I gave nothing.

I am aware this is not just a farang/Thai arrangement but feel it is outdated and not widespread across Thailand. In many instances the money is all about family 'face' and its secretly
returned to the new couple after the wedding. You need to be aware that in Isaan, they think we have unlimited funds and grow money on tree's. 
Think of your future financial commitments because no-one else will. You might also want to mention, that in the western world, it is the custom for the brides family to pay for the wedding

Happy Negotiations 

Dave perhaps you could 'mediate'

[Vombatus]

As far as I am concerned this is a Thai/Thai custom.

Any Falang who pays sinsot is a half-wit in my book. Makes prostitution look cheap !

Dave the Dude hits the nail on the head when he suggests that 'taking care of our loved ones' involves financing houses and property that we can never own'. Such financial support is adequate enough.

2 observations:- 75,000 Baht is a bloody fortune to a Plapplachai villager, akin to a lottery win or selling 4 rai of village land.  Chang at 430 Baht is not cheap, it is the going rate.

[buriramboy]

As far as I am concerned this is a Thai/Thai custom.

Any Falang who pays sinsot is a half-wit in my book. Makes prostitution look cheap !

Dave the Dude hits the nail on the head when he suggests that 'taking care of our loved ones' involves financing houses and property that we can never own'. Such financial support is adequate enough.

2 observations:- 75,000 Baht is a bloody fortune to a Plapplachai villager, akin to a lottery win or selling 4 rai of village land.  Chang at 430 Baht is not cheap, it is the going rate.

its a package deal!

please answer me why the hell a young sweet girl will marry or even date not to mention LOOK at old guy age 40-70 years old?
maybe because farang look is so damn hot and handsome??!?! get real!!! that's the way it is.
if any of you thinking of playing this attitude you must be dreaming illussing or just pretending you do not understand Way of life in this world.
its like this wherever you will go not only Thailand.
the good thing is that Thai respect money and giving in return great thankful and when the time pass learn to love and live with you.
I have seen some farangs treating really badly to Thai ladies (not working but gf/wifes) just because they hold the money. yes you do have some LIMITED level of power but that's about it.
it does not give you the right to set the rules even when your partner let you THINK YOU SET THE RULES.

How much does your lovely farang Xwife demanded when you lived with her?
How poor were she?

accept it:
you come with money and this is the reason you get a wife/gf the way you want and money just made it happen to you even if you choose to ignore this simple fact.
Its not a bad thing, I even think its a great thing you can afford and be comfortable with.

[Vombatus]

This question is about sin sot.

Anybody stupid enough to pay it is an idiot.

Do not confuse my refusal to pay sinsot with a reluctance to financially support my partner. This is my responsibility.

I did it with 2 ex-Falang wives and I am doing it now.

I am getting a better return on my investment now 

I am, of course, hot and hansum but I understand that if I had not got a pot to piss in then I would have no value to a Thai.

[Prakhonchai Nick]

You will always get those for and those against sin-sod.

I, like others believe that paying sin-sod is akin to prostitution.

Most farangs, are able to provide a lifestyle far better than the wife could ever have dreamed of having with a Thai man - especially for a poor village girl. The parents or guardians should be ecstatic that their daughter will have a good life, and not demand payment for same.

What's the alternative? Marry/live with a Thai man -get pregnant once twice. three times, man runs off with a another girl, and the wife has to go to Pattaya/Bangkok to sell herself to make ends meet. Is that what the parents would prefer, having creamed off perhaps 50,000bt from the Thai man, and seeing their daughter and Thai man live in abject poverty for several years whilst they pay off the loan they took together to pay sin-sod to the greedy f.....g mother! I have seen this happen more than once in my village. The mothers are despicable in my book! In one case we lent a girl 20,000bt to pay off the loan sharks who were charging 20% a month interest - the mother knew and did not care!

[Admin]

This question is about sin sot.

Anybody stupid enough to pay it is an idiot.

Do not confuse my refusal to pay sinsot with a reluctance to financially support my partner. This is my responsibility.

I did it with 2 ex-Falang wives and I am doing it now.

I am getting a better return on my investment now 

I am, of course, hot and hansum but I understand that if I had not got a pot to piss in then I would have no value to a Thai.

I tend to agree with buriramboy,
About the "sin sot" (money dowry), its tradition, I of course paid it, I can't go against their tradition as I chose to live here.

But I do think anyone should try identify and understand if the request of "sin sot" is genuine or greed only.
Many times its greed only and it comes of course when have short term relationships the girl try to pull the farang for a "wedding", but when its real long term relationship I don't think there is a reason to go against this tradition.
This tradition has been spread out around the world for thousands of years, its just we the westerns have forgotten it and not applying this tradition practically in the last few decades (IE; the "modern world"?).

BTW, negotiation is acceptable and you can also learn many things on your future family by doing this process.
I do not think you should expect getting your "sin sot" back after the wedding.
Its a big "lose face" and breaking the atmosphere of the wedding of course.

Eventually I think up to 100,000 Baht is acceptable reasonable amount for a "Sin Sot".
After all its to apply the tradition and not greediness!

IMHO, If the family demand/request more than this amount its a red light.

also, connect the "sin sot" issue to other requests/demands the family or girl friend had in the past.

Maybe the "sin sot" amount is big because you have declined other idea/request and the "sin sot" amount is including other things inside.

Good luck with any decision you will make.

Remember, you choose to marry a Thai / live here and in Rome.......

[maraudingscot]

 

Cool, thanks for the reply guys, as usual there are those for it, those dead against it and those that have a middle of the road outlook on it. 

A BIG sorry "tallguyeric" I did not mean to hijack your posting, But I guess the question of "sinsod" is relevant to you too!

rethumper, yeah "thailand fever" is a good book, picked it up at the airport on a trip back home last October and had a copy sent to the g/f for her to read! which she did but I think she did not take in what it said but mainly used (and still is) it to improve her english, lol as she could read it in Thai and then see what it said in English. So the clever thought of "hey, send this to g/f and she will understand where I come from more"  kind of didn't work, or maybe she understands but ignores.

lol a friend of mine that has lived in Thailand a long long time said the following ------

“ Yes”, in Thailand doesn’t mean agreement it means yes, I hear you speaking but don’t really understand your meaning.   


Anyway made me chuckle   Also spoke to my sister-in-law (phee sa-phai) who comes from a village not far from g/f's about this matter. lol She said " dump her, plenty more fish in the sea" should not pay sinsod and if you do should only be small amount 50,000 baht maybe 100,000 if girl not have children from previous relationship and if both are from wealthy families, and she have good education!! anyway sinsod is usually given back to the couple to help start them for their future!

Anyway the discussion continues, g/f said no problem you not worry about it, mama said no problem!

 

So could mean

a/ forget about sinsod, you look after me and everything ok?

b/ you forget about it, you Falang have plenty money so pay and no worry about it! 


so now none the wiser so will have to see if subject comes up again and see what they say!!

Life with a Thai is always interesting

[maraudingscot]

You will always get those for and those against sin-sod.

I, like others believe that paying sin-sod is akin to prostitution.

 

lol 300,000 baht, would go a long way for prostitution, lol 1,000 a night plus bar fine 300 strueth, yep pattaya woohoo

[Admin]

You will always get those for and those against sin-sod.

I, like others believe that paying sin-sod is akin to prostitution.

 

lol 300,000 baht, would go a long way for prostitution, lol 1,000 a night plus bar fine 300 strueth, yep pattaya woohoo

Even here have better bargains!!!

[dave the dude]

Dave perhaps you could 'mediate'

I am very sorry to say, I must decline this role, as this months quote if people to annoy has already been met.
Maybe get back to me during August and I will try to fit them up in.

Your rejectingly

DtD