{Advertisements}

{Advertisements}

Author Topic: The not the ROMA-Parmesan thread  (Read 3320 times)

0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline dimple joe

  • Prolific Member
  • *
  • Posts: 364
  • Gender: Male
The not the ROMA-Parmesan thread
« on: October 19, 2012, 11:49:48 AM »
BBC News
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote.   General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".

Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands , Al Qaeda chief executive Haisheet Mapants explained, "I sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands.  They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace.  Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife.   It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off.   I don't like cutting benefits but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up.

Spokespersons for the union in the Newcastle, and Liverpool  stated that the change would not hurt their membership as there are so few virgins in their areas anyway.

According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been attributed to the emergence of Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle.   Many Muslim jihadists now know what a virgin looks like and have reconsidered their benefit packages.

Offline JimNasium

  • Contributor with future
  • *
  • Posts: 112
Re: The not the ROMA-Parmesan thread
« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2012, 12:18:03 PM »
To quote Billy Connolly: "If you asked me, 72 virgins is a curse. Not a blessing. Give me two fire breathing whores any day of the week"


 

Search Option


Advanced Search
Recent Posts
Re: New Passport Photo by Rossco
November 08, 2024, 06:29:21 PM

Re: New Passport Photo by Gerry
November 07, 2024, 04:28:31 PM

New Passport Photo by Rossco
November 04, 2024, 10:08:09 AM

Re: Parking @ Chong Chom Border Crossing by andy
October 16, 2024, 05:16:23 PM

Re: Condo for sale by DeputyDavid
October 16, 2024, 04:21:33 PM

Sander 3 door fridge for sale by DeputyDavid
October 15, 2024, 12:32:29 PM

Re: Parking @ Chong Chom Border Crossing by Gerry
October 07, 2024, 05:09:11 PM

Parking @ Chong Chom Border Crossing by andy
October 06, 2024, 06:50:48 PM

Re: information on how to get a child a Thai ID card by Gerry
August 29, 2024, 02:33:22 PM

information on how to get a child a Thai ID card by Murtle_71
August 29, 2024, 07:11:47 AM

Todays Birthdays
Powered by EzPortal