good Thai girl

[Happylarry]

Thought I was indeed "Happy" but from what I have been hearing from my foreign neighbours, and seen for myself  I am left being not so sure.
 
I believe my girl to be a good one (don't we all) - or at least I did until I heard a few horror stories  and saw things with my own eyes which have set me wondering.
 
Perhaps I can ask whether these things are the exception or the norm.
 
1) Houses being built by the girls family, where prices are padded, and the finished price is around twice the realistic cost, with the family all ending up with new houses too
 
2 Many girls having boyfriends in the villages with whom they stay when the foreigner leaves the country, Both living happily on the money sent monthly  whilst boyfriend works hard to save up for his next visit.
 
3 Girls drifting back to their bars in Pattaya or Bangkok, whilst telling boyfriends they are home with the family waiting for his return.
 
 
If true, what can I do to avoid being a victim?

Don't panic yet, maybe she's genuine.
1. yes, happens a lot.  But the members on this forum have all been there before so they can give you a guide as to going rates, etc.  But sometime this 'overspend' is the family showing off (your wealth) in the village rather than trying to rob you.
2. yes happens all the time.  Keep an eye out for 'brothers' and 'cousins' hanging around when you're in Buriram.  Learn some basic Thai and keep your ears open.  Pay a 'surprise' visit to Buriram, If she is not happily surprised, ask yourself why.  Get dropped off outside the door and check (sneakily) if the 'Brother' or 'Cousin' clothes are in her room.
3. learn some Thai, when you phone her ask to say 'Sawadee' to her parents as a sign of respect.  If she is not in the village, she can't pass them the phone.  And again, the surprise visit.  In general its a good idea to try to get speaking to her family a little

Best of luck

I like the surprise visit idea - I really hadn't thought about that.

It sounds 'disrespectful' to do something like that, but I do want to be sure that the girl I want to spend the rest of life with is faithful. Is that an unreasonable thing to expect ?

[Paddyram]

Why 'disrepectful'. 
Remember, you are not checking up on her, you are paying your girlfriend a surprise visit because you miss her so much.  Saying it that way, makes it sound sweet.  And if you do pay her a surprise visit and find her with out something you don't like, then trust me you won't give a f@#k about any disrepect to her then.

I paid that visit, Wife (then GF) was delighted.  She got huge bragging rights around the village about her farang boyfriend that couldn't stay away and missed her so much he jumped on a flight at the spur of the moment.
Some years later, I told her my other motive for the trip.  She surprised me by saying 'that was a clever idea because a lot of ladies are joking farangs.'

You can never figure women out ... never mnd Thai women.

[Vombatus]

After John the Traveller's tale of woe, which in my experience is not a rarity, Happylarry's questions above are all too relevant. I believe"private eyes" in Pattaya do good business

But Pattaya is not Buriram.  In an Isaan Village, where most families are inter-related a Private Eye would get spotted in seconds.  this could cause trouble where there wasn't any trouble before.
BTW watched Butteryfly man last night, it showed the good, the bad and the ugly of Expats in Thailand.  It would be a good guide for loved-up Farang traveling to Thailand.

i think Butterfly Man was a bit of harmless romantic drivel. Nice scenes of Thailand though. It was a a few years ago that I saw it but my recollection was that it was not that representative of the real Thailand - I may need to see it again to get a second opinion.

I think the 'new'  Falang is usually concerned about his Pattaya G/F cavorting with other Farangs. That, as we know, is simply a loss of turn. Far more dangerous for the long-term relationship is those situations where there is a long-term Thai B/F and the girl is cynically setting out to milk the Falang of his life savings.

This is also slightly different to a girl who is based in Suffolk who receives a total of 90,000 Baht per month from 2 B/F's and a husband - none of whom are aware of the existence of the others. A bit like the United Nations really - UK husband, Japanese and Danish B/F's !

[Vombatus]

Why 'disrepectful'. 
Remember, you are not checking up on her, you are paying your girlfriend a surprise visit because you miss her so much.  Saying it that way, makes it sound sweet.  And if you do pay her a surprise visit and find her with out something you don't like, then trust me you won't give a f@#k about any disrepect to her then.

I paid that visit, Wife (then GF) was delighted.  She got huge bragging rights around the village about her farang boyfriend that couldn't stay away and missed her so much he jumped on a flight at the spur of the moment.
Some years later, I told her my other motive for the trip.  She surprised me by saying 'that was a clever idea because a lot of ladies are joking farangs.'

You can never figure women out ... never mnd Thai women.

Paddyram - "Bagwan"  - you have a sweet mouth - and a charming way with words !

[Happylarry]

Why 'disrepectful'. 
Remember, you are not checking up on her, you are paying your girlfriend a surprise visit because you miss her so much.  Saying it that way, makes it sound sweet.  And if you do pay her a surprise visit and find her with out something you don't like, then trust me you won't give a f@#k about any disrepect to her then.

I paid that visit, Wife (then GF) was delighted.  She got huge bragging rights around the village about her farang boyfriend that couldn't stay away and missed her so much he jumped on a flight at the spur of the moment.
Some years later, I told her my other motive for the trip.  She surprised me by saying 'that was a clever idea because a lot of ladies are joking farangs.'

You can never figure women out ... never mnd Thai women.

Thanks.

This is so close to truth. I miss my girl dreadfully and would hop on a plane tomorrow if I could.

thinking about it if I do make a surprise visit it is something that I would really like to do. I can also see that she would be made up if I arrived when she wasn't expecting me.

If something is wrong I would rather find out now before I have sold my house in England and build a new on my girls land.

Time to think out my travel plans.

[Paddyram]

I wonder if you could help me with question I've had for a while.
Maybe some of you have heard this story before:
In my wife's village they heard of an Irish man years ago in buriram, who bull-dozed his girlfriends house when she ended her relationship.  she told him that her 'Cousin' was indeed her Thai husband and they were keeping the house.  He was told he had to go now, leave buriram.  He did, but he levelled the house first.
This story has been repeated to me by many Thais, but they each had a different idea of where this happened, but the farang in the story was always irish.
Anyone know the true origins of this story ?
It has helped me, in that in her village they all think Irish men are 'Jai Dee' but they all go crazy when you joke them.  sometimes the big dumb, angry farang lable can works for you.
but I am curious as to how this Legend started.

[nookiebear]

I wonder if you could help me with question I've had for a while.
Maybe some of you have heard this story before:
In my wife's village they heard of an Irish man years ago in buriram, who bull-dozed his girlfriends house when she ended her relationship.  she told him that her 'Cousin' was indeed her Thai husband and they were keeping the house.  He was told he had to go now, leave buriram.  He did, but he levelled the house first.
This story has been repeated to me by many Thais, but they each had a different idea of where this happened, but the farang in the story was always irish.
Anyone know the true origins of this story ?
It has helped me, in that in her village they all think Irish men are 'Jai Dee' but they all go crazy when you joke them.  sometimes the big dumb, angry farang lable can works for you.
but I am curious as to how this Legend started.

It did indeed happen just outside Nong Ki about 6 years ago,The chaps name  was Maurice he was a regular at all our 'watering holes'...He went back home about 3 years ago,,,he still comes to Pattaya regularly but never comes here anymore

[Prakhonchai Nick]

There was a case reported on Stickman some years ago, whereby the house was burned down by a farang, after his wifes death, when all her family were trying to hustle him out. He had all the papers to prove that the house was built with his money, and the local police gave their approval. He even had his stepdaughter's approval, and he took her to live with him in Bangkok, much to the disgust of her grandparents.

[Vombatus]

The bulldozer story could well apply to our friend who spent the 7m Baht.

He was smart enough to take a 30 year lease on the property which resulted in his cheating wife having to leave. Life was hell in the village and it may well never be a satisfactory situation. This being the case he would certainly consider bull-dozing.

[Happylarry]

i am not settling very well to work today  LOL

It should be the English summer and in the south east it not even getting up to 20 degrees. Bleedin rain as well. That on its own makes me want to get back to Thailand but I cant get the thought out of my head of surprising Nok by coming to Buriram next month - I was not planing to come until November when my contract finishes.

[Paddyram]

Paddyram - "Bagwan"  - you have a sweet mouth - and a charming way with words !

Cheers

[Prakhonchai Nick]

i am not settling very well to work today  LOL

It should be the English summer and in the south east it not even getting up to 20 degrees. Bleedin rain as well. That on its own makes me want to get back to Thailand but I cant get the thought out of my head of surprising Nok by coming to Buriram next month - I was not planning to come until November when my contract finishes.

Go for it Larry. Nok will certainly get a surprise -one way or the other! Don't concern yourself about the weather - it's pissing down here too

[Happylarry]

Thank you Nick at least your rain is warm LOL

[barrybox]

Good Thai girl? they are all  good if you keep sending the money ,I dont have any problems with thai ladys ,they all answer there mobiles immediately day or night ,turn on skype no boyfriends or husbands just normal life ,the cost ?? 3 good friends 150.000 baht per month, seems to me in life you get what you pay for  where ever you choose to live  .good luck and may i suggest Korat for a "real thai "  girl , you,ll need money ,be well  groomed ,and drink very little

[Prakhonchai Nick]

They may all be good to us farangs when we send big money -150,000 a month as suggested by you. Idiot! However this does not stop them playing around with their Thai husbands and boyfriends, when the farang has gone back to his home country. When the farang  returns, the Thai "friends" take a back seat, knowing that more money will follow shortly.

As has been said earlier, the Thai man will usually be back in her bed before the farang has reached the airport!

That IS the normal life you refer to!