Boy don't like school. What can we do?

[Lourens]

We have a boy, 13 years old, who do not want to go to school. We take him to school every day but we had a call from his teacher saying that he just wanders around outside and never goes to class. (This says a lot about the school system doesn’t it?) When we confronted him with this, he replied that he does not want to go to school anymore. Taking him to another school won’t solve the problem and I even thought we might enrol him in a private school. But nothing prevents him from simply leaving and not going to classes.

What can we do? I know of no school hostels where we can put him and he is still too young for the military. It was suggested that he should become a novice monk so that the temple can look after him. All this makes me feel terrible because it looks like we can not take care of him anymore. We tried explaining to him that an education is very important but his response is simply that he doesn’t like school. How do we motivate him? Do I pay him to go to school and do well to learn? He gets all the material things he needs (not wants). He also gets a lot of attention and affection from us and both his mother and I are deeply concerned about his well being. He is a clever boy if he puts his mind to it but I get the feeling that he thinks he is dumb. I tried teaching him English on more than one occasion but he just don’t want to learn.

Any ideas of what we can do to help this kid to get the education he deserves will be greatly appreciated.

[isaanrice]

umm.. I dont think you should accept the boy behavior to be naughty and do whatever he wants..
yes..sure he dont want to go to school ,but thats just because he is a boy..and let him know you're very unsatisfied with his behavior with small panishments that he will know and unerstand the results of his acts.
when he act good make for him something nice,that way he will know alone and understand how it works.
he may be angry right now but for sure he will thank you in the future.
I dont think you should send him to a school hostels as it will make his feelings inside angry on you (kind of right..) that u left him out of the house a "gave up" on him.

just my personal view of course..maybe i'm wrong maybe i'm right..who knows.. 

[cristiano ronaldo]

hi,
  my personal opinion is if he was my son i would be a lot harsher with him as he is only 13 years old.if you can't control him at 13 what hope have you got when he is 16.good luck.

[Lourens]

As it happens, I just returned from a trip home and found out all about the reasons for his behaviour. It turns out he didn't want to go to school anymore because he was forced to pay protection money to some older boys. My wife found this out after she went to the school to see if she could find out what was happening. According to the teachers, they knew about this going on but could never prove it as no one wanted to come forward to name the bad boys. Their names are still not known and for all we know, it is still an ongoing thing. I never thought that this kind of gangsterism is going on in Thai schools and if it is happening in a school in Buriram, it must be happening in other schools as well. This is a very worrying development and a situation that should be addressed in the strongest terms.

Our boy will not go back to that school. We found an alternative where he will repeat the last year. He seems very happy about the prospect of going to school again and for that we are very thankful.

Thanks also for all your comments and suggestions. It is much appreciated and good to know that someone cares.

[dave the dude]

As it happens, I just returned from a trip home and found out all about the reasons for his behaviour. It turns out he didn't want to go to school anymore because he was forced to pay protection money to some older boys. My wife found this out after she went to the school to see if she could find out what was happening. According to the teachers, they knew about this going on but could never prove it as no one wanted to come forward to name the bad boys. Their names are still not known and for all we know, it is still an ongoing thing. I never thought that this kind of gangsterism is going on in Thai schools and if it is happening in a school in Buriram, it must be happening in other schools as well. This is a very worrying development and a situation that should be addressed in the strongest terms.

Our boy will not go back to that school. We found an alternative where he will repeat the last year. He seems very happy about the prospect of going to school again and for that we are very thankful.

Thanks also for all your comments and suggestions. It is much appreciated and good to know that someone cares.

Hi Laurens

I am glad you have got a way forward now and it is very lucky you found out the true reason for the lads behavior. I have found it very frustrating here in Thailand trying to 'get to the bottom' of situations when most do not(or will not) TALK. My step son is 16 and quietly 'dropped out' of school and disappeared for a couple of months. Had a very 'interesting' car chase thru the small soi's in town, one night when we tracked him down. It was just like a scene from a movie (I didnt know a D-Max could handle that well  ).

All is well know, he had set up home with a girlie in a small student room and wanted to work. The boss-lady/friends have found him a job, which he attends every day. Both are living with us at home now and They have bought a new wizzy motorcy so he has discovered BILLS TO PAY.

I suppose thats the next little trauma Laurens GIRLS     

Dave