Author Topic: THE MONEY ONE HAS TO PAY TO WIFE PARENTS AFTER GETTING MARIED (Read 20470 times)

Admin · « **on:** June 10, 2011, 10:01:22 AM »

Inspiration from another topic.

Your input please.

Is it annoying you the need to pay to wife's parents all life after married to a Thai lady?

Is it acceptable? If so, How much money would you pay or already paying?

What's the limit and how you go about this issue with your wife?

Al. · « **Reply #1 on:** June 10, 2011, 01:52:56 PM »

So far the majority "pay only in emergency cases" perhaps you should also have added another option How much does your wife pay each month

den Buut · « **Reply #2 on:** June 10, 2011, 02:05:46 PM »

I don't have to pay for my FIL, her father passed away 11 years ago and her mother has a Thai restaurant in Malmo, Sweden, which she started with money she borrowed from my parents.
Financially helping someone out is another thing, last year september she lent money of us to do some rebuilding in the restaurant, she paid one half back last april and the rest will be paid back next December. If you mean giving the money and don't expect it back there should be compensation in some other way. For you to decide what.

olavhome · « **Reply #3 on:** June 10, 2011, 02:06:58 PM »

Think depend on if you are living close to them in Thailand or not. Also if they have "real" job and income , or "just " being farmers with a minor and not steady income. Also, at least for me, is how they spend their money (gambling or not, much drinking or not). Guess most of falang wish the close family in Thailand have a good standard of living.
In early relationship it can be more money, helping improve quality of house, maybe a better car, and also maybe helping them be able to have a steady income by themselves in the future.

mario299 · « **Reply #4 on:** June 10, 2011, 02:39:17 PM »

I voted that I don't pay, and I won't.

We live next door to my wife's father and we don't speak to him. Her mother died about 12 years ago, and her father is a loud, verbally abusive hard-drinking jerk. He has always demanded money from his children (son and 2 daughters), never asked, always demanded.

I would have liked to have had a good relationship with him, and in fact do have a great relationship with my wife's sister and brother and their families, all of us trying together to make their lives a little better, but I honestly believe he is a lost cause. His loss, I'm afraid.

mario299

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Admin · « **Reply #5 on:** June 11, 2011, 09:41:14 AM »

I know many farang are paying salaries not only to the parents but also to their Thai wife.
Until this day I haven't really understood how a couple can live in true love when one have to deposit/hand over every month a salary (both of them are calling it 'Salary' so that's exactly what it is), I mean, SALARY TO YOUR WIFE?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

Jamaw · « **Reply #6 on:** June 11, 2011, 10:56:30 AM »

As I mentioned earlier sin sot is a cultural tradition that is payable to the first marriage only. It is not expected and should not be demanded for second marriages and where the woman has previously had children. However, some Farangs are taken in by this and accept it so it becomes 'normal' and therefore demanded!

I never paid anything but I have helped out family members as anyone would.

I remember reading something in a UK newspaper where a farmer's son got ripped off. He was 42 and single (been looking after the farm and disabled parents). He met a Thai Bride online. He accepted sin sot but the agency also demanded a form of sin sot as well as the fee and commission!

No doubt there will be many stories to tell but what it boils down to is buying a bride and I would never do that!

lukey1979 · « **Reply #7 on:** June 11, 2011, 09:36:18 PM »

Quote from: Admin on June 11, 2011, 09:41:14 AM

I know many farang are paying salaries not only to the parents but also to their Thai wife.
Until this day I haven't really understood how a couple can live in true love when one have to deposit/hand over every month a salary (both of them are calling it 'Salary' so that's exactly what it is), I mean, SALARY TO YOUR WIFE?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

It depends on how you look at it. If you refer to It as ''Salary'' then yes, It is rather strange. It's no difference to ''House keeping'' though In the UK. I remember my father would give my mother so much of his wages every week for my mother to take care of the Bills and put food on the table. Thats exactly what I do with my wife, I go to work abroad 2 months at a time and deposit into our joint account a certain amount each month. It covers the bills, and ensures a decent standard of living for our family whilst Im gone, If she in turn, decides to give her mum some money out of that then thats entirely up to her.I'd rather do it that way, than fall out with my wife because she has to ask me for money each time a bill needs paying. It allows her to stand on her own 2 feet and make her own desicions.

Yes, ''Salary'' is strange. But Paying your wife money each month to take care of YOUR family and ensure the upkeep of YOUR household, is not strange but totally normal in my opinion.

Jamaw · « **Reply #8 on:** June 11, 2011, 10:34:50 PM »

Lukey that's an agreement and arrangement. I have this with my wife and my parents did the same. When I left the Middle East I had to close my off-shore account and I had hassle her in Thailand so all my money was paid into my wife's account. I prefer a joint account as it's easier and I trust my wife 100%.

lukey1979 · « **Reply #9 on:** June 11, 2011, 10:52:20 PM »

Quote from: Jamaw on June 11, 2011, 10:34:50 PM

Lukey that's an agreement and arrangement. I have this with my wife and my parents did the same. When I left the Middle East I had to close my off-shore account and I had hassle her in Thailand so all my money was paid into my wife's account. I prefer a joint account as it's easier and I trust my wife 100%.

Exactly mate. And If you can't trust your partner, even with money, then It's Endex.

Jamaw · « **Reply #10 on:** June 11, 2011, 10:55:39 PM »

Nail on the head Lukey. It is and should be an equal partnership in all manner of speaking, that defines a relationship anything else is an arrangement! If there is no trust then there is no marriage.

Jamaw · « **Reply #11 on:** June 11, 2011, 11:50:07 PM »

I guess that about sums this conversation up, can't go much further as everything has been covered unless someone wants to digress and make silly childish comments!

manupete · « **Reply #12 on:** June 11, 2011, 11:51:53 PM »

When my wife's at home I give her 100 baht a day pin money ..

That gives me options of either 6 short-times or 3 long-times a month

To be perfectly honest we are all big boys,what works for one couple may -not work for another,who's to say who's right or wrong on how we conduct our marriages or lives.yes we can have opinions,and opinions are all they are.

Jamaw · « **Reply #13 on:** June 12, 2011, 12:00:37 AM »

Man u Pete. Probably the most sensible thing I've seen you post (is the medication wearing off?).

I have a lit of experience with Forums, I used to run one. Think of it as a bunch of mature men getting together in a bar and getting to know each other over a few pints. There will be different people from different countries with different views on life, none are wrong and none are right, just what fits the situation!

The difference here is the lack of body language so things may be taken wrongly! Banter, sarcasm and wit is essential. Some have it, some think they have it and some cant spell it! It's about knowing your capabilities and limitations and not taking on something you can't handle. If you wanna give it then be prepared to take it! It's all fun, nothing serious. I've said it before and I've told Almog, this forum is sterile lacking in wit and banter. Prove me wrong or just carry on talking shop about the weather and the price of gas etc etc.

manupete · « **Reply #14 on:** June 12, 2011, 12:08:59 AM »

Jamaw I'm just trying to lighten things up..why the big chip on your shoulder??? ....have you come on here just to prove how smart you are..

..maybe try using a few smileys to make your posts more friendly.

Btw ..my grammar and spelling is shit

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THE MONEY ONE HAS TO PAY TO WIFE PARENTS AFTER GETTING MARIED