THE MONEY ONE HAS TO PAY FOR GETTING MARIED

[Ahab]

Everyone is different and everyone needs to decide what they think is acceptable with respect to sin sod. Personally I shake my head in disbelief when someone says they are asked for 2 million baht cash and 10 baht worth of gold. I would not accept that amount, I personally think it is over the top. However, I don't think it is wrong to pay for the food and drink associated with the wedding party (or at least help to defray the total costs) and possibly buy a modest gold chain if you want to. But it is really up to each individual to decide what is right for his circumstance.

[CO-CO]

It's all about stopping saying things like "Thai wife" or "Thai girlfriend". A wife is a wife.

It's all about treating her as you would like to be treated.

If you found out that your wife was sh&@gging someone in a Karaoke or somewhere how would you feel? If you found out that your wife had "contingency plans" then how would you feel.

I see some guys that appear to be here for some kind of "holiday marriage".

Relationships are two ways.

I have been married, first and only time in my life, for nearly 13 years. Always dealt with things together with respect for each other.

Starman ... I agree with your post. You are in an enviable and priviledged position to make your comments ... having been happily married only once for 13 years. Well done.

Unfortunately, many of us here have had previous failed marriages, and whether we admit it or not, there is always some emotional baggage attached to that. You REALLY do carry it forever. It makes you more cautious the 2nd time around.

I give my girl 100% commitment to making our relationship work. I've burned many bridges back home to be here full time. Hopefully it will lead to marriage. That was my plan from the start. I would never consider it a holiday marriage.

But, having had the rug pulled out from under me before, it does change your values a little. Hopefully you will never know what I'm talking about !! (meaning you will stay happily married forever ... and not be a divorcee with a slightly different view to marriage like many of us)

I just wish I had come here as a 25 year old with the world at my feet !!

I fully understand the emotions there must be when entering a relationship, possibly leading to marriage, for the second time.

I am very pleased that you are not differentiating between nationality.

That was my point.

I WOULD differentiate between nationally. Call nationality culture if you like, but I would differentiate. Surely, understanding those differences is one of the first steps in developing a mixed-race relationship.

That is not about trust, respect, sharing, 'love' that are all integral to a successful relationship. The fact is that you have to act differently, and treat your partner differently, depending on their own culture and background.

There are, of course, those here on 'holiday marriages' (or at least courtships). The (Thai  ) GF's sister is referred to by her boyfriend as his "Thai wife". That is mainly because he has remained married in the UK for the last 7 years they have been together. They never spend more than 2 weeks together at any one time. "Holiday marriage" ?  - certainly fits the description. Perhaps an ideal arrangement for both parties. She is not unhappy with a detached house, Fortuner and 50,000 Baht a month.

Thailand encourages itself as a "Holiday marriage" destination - that is surely different to most places in the West ?

As an aside, mongers are likely to be mongers in Thailand or their home country - it is just easier here.

As a further aside, reference to 'contingency plans' is probably just the wisdom of someone who has experienced previous relationship failures. I don't see many Darby & Joan clubs in Thailand so it perhaps sensible to consider what you would do if things went 'tit's up' with your current relationship. I fully intend to enjoy another 20 odd harmonious years with my partner - but then I intended the same with my first two wives !!

Contingency plans are just insurance policies and may be as simple as keeping sufficient capital on one side if things do go pear-shaped.

A friend said he would never put all his capital or all his emotion into Thailand. If that is sound logic, I accept it applies to any relationship, anywhere.

I congratulate Steve on the success of his marriage. I think PKC Nick has been married a little longer - I suspect their lifestyles differ somewhat.

[urleft]

I was at a wedding last year where the Farang gave 1 Mil Baht (heard it was double that). 

I have added pictures of it being carried in the wedding, and a close up of the Baht. 

[dimple joe]

Don't forget the most important thing in Thailand; "Face".

In 2007 when I married in Buriram, I gave a brand new 1,300,000 Baht Honda CRV plus 800,000 baht Sin Sod for my 43 year old divorcee bride.

The cash and car keys were paraded at the wedding to many Oohs and Aahs from the guests.

Sharp intake of breath, sucker, fool, ripped off ? - Not at all.

Much ”Face” was given to my wife and her family.

The 800,000 went straight back into my bank account and we still have the CRV.

Car and wife are now almost 6 years older, but both still in perfect working order with only minimal bodywork deterioration.

[rufusredtail]

UPDATE

Thought I would update, finally received subclass 309 visa for my wife to stay in Australia, cost was $2660 aud dollars did not put through an agent , my mate did cost him over $3500 aud plus the cost of visa, been a long process but worth it , can come and go as many times as she pleases, nil conditions , can work straight away , with a tax file number , so all is well , I read many times in posts that some of you have to do visa runs every 3 months is this likely to change in the future , bloody bind to go in and out all the time, be interested to know , can one stay for 12 months or longer without a visa run ?

[gotlost]

UPDATE

Thought I would update, finally received subclass 309 visa for my wife to stay in Australia, cost was $2660 aud dollars did not put through an agent , my mate did cost him over $3500 aud plus the cost of visa, been a long process but worth it , can come and go as many times as she pleases, nil conditions , can work straight away , with a tax file number , so all is well , I read many times in posts that some of you have to do visa runs every 3 months is this likely to change in the future , bloody bind to go in and out all the time, be interested to know , can one stay for 12 months or longer without visa run?

If you have an extension to stay based on marriage  every 90 days you must report to immigration. If  in Australia get yourself a single entry O visa based on marriage and as soon as you get back in Thailand start the conversion over to the extension based on marriage. As a foreigner we have two choices either leave the country every 90 days are report to immigration.. You will need to show either 400k bt in a bank in Thailand in you name only for 60  days or a letter from your embassy in Bangkok that you have an income of 40000 bt per month.

[SWINDLED]

met a 21 yo lass from rajabaht university udon thani & within a short time of know her she was proposing to me but asked i give her mother 300k bt as a condition i had to agree to or no deal.

 

[nookiebear]

met a 21 yo lass from rajabaht university udon thani & within a short time of know her she was proposing to me but asked i give her mother 300k bt as a condition i had to agree to or no deal.

 

AND what age are you Sir

[gotlost]

met a 21 yo lass from rajabaht university udon thani & within a short time of know her she was proposing to me but asked i give her mother 300k bt as a condition i had to agree to or no deal.

 

Chump Chang..Know a local lass  that put a price tag of 7.5 million baht on that box lunch. She got it. Yes I was at the Buddha Wedding and what a blow out.

[rufusredtail]

met a 21 yo lass from rajabaht university udon thani & within a short time of know her she was proposing to me but asked i give her mother 300k bt as a condition i had to agree to or no deal.

 

  Take care my friend , as many have advised me on BE , cha cha , slowly slowly, I think to many see a beautiful lady , and give over money, and regret it .

[JasonB]

Gotlost,a relative in law,just got 3m Baht,up front,no mariage date yet.AND 40K a month until he comes over again,a European of some sort.The 3M is for sin sot,but the kicker is she has been married before,and has a child with the ex Thai husband....PS the village is about 30klms from Buriram,and they are all hearing these stories of massive amounts for sin sot,so they want it too!!

[JasonB]

It appears,the sin sot tradition of unmarried,fresh,no kids,is being re written as we watch! 

[dundeemk6]

It seems to me that more and more foreigners really get so desperate to get married they fork out any amount and most of the time to the uggliest b..ch of the village. And then afterwards come crying because they have been cleaned out. Seen it so many times in my 10 years down here and it seems to get worse. The more foreigners come to Lahansai, the more horrorstories I hear.

[gotlost]

Anyone considering paying 2m sin sot is either a troll or a half-wit.

Plenty of both arof thund too!!

I have seen them both and new ones step of the plane every day.

[SWINDLED]

youre right, i should have used a condom but alas, in the heat of the moment i did her twice before she had to go back to uni for night class.

luckily for me there was no pregnancy claims against me.

i discovered later that she have a professional sportsman bf in bkk & he was a player big time & she was getting even.

met a 21 yo lass from rajabaht university udon thani & within a short time of know her she was proposing to me but asked i give her mother 300k bt as a condition i had to agree to or no deal.

 

  Take care my friend , as many have advised me on BE , cha cha , slowly slowly, I think to many see a beautiful lady , and give over money, and regret it .