THE MONEY ONE HAS TO PAY FOR GETTING MARIED

[Jamaw]

It's not the only thing that gets 'parted' when a farang shows him money !!!!

[den Buut]

There is a lesbian Thai girl living around the corner here in the village, has an old Aussie sending money to her, she drives a Fortuner, has a really nice house, and he cums to visit her once a year, smart lesbian, dumb Aussie.

[lukey1979]

Like Mr T used to say: '' I pity the fool! ''

[lukey1979]

There is a lesbian Thai girl living around the corner here in the village, has an old Aussie sending money to her, she drives a Fortuner, has a really nice house, and he cums to visit her once a year, smart lesbian, dumb Aussie.

Had a lovely lass (Stinker) In our village, her boyfriend would pick up the farang from the airport in his ''taxi''. The farang thought he was her brother... She would openly brag that she was feeding the poor bugger Dog as well (Unbeknown to him Im sure). 
Karmas a bastward, she's back in Phuket now, minus the farang, too fugly to secure another sponsor im sure.
Wonderful people.

[olavhome]

Gues many of you people are lucky living permanenly in LOS  redmanbut-not doing so yet feel not sure if last examples is the average thailady living with farang?
It was said that many ladies are hard working in ordinary jobs while a larger persentage of the thaimen prefer cha-cha and talk/whiskey (just like farangs? ).
Personally I also dont like paying more than needed, but also think (sometimes) that we are more lucky than most ordinairy thais. Guess also the ladies know that their "good luck" suddently can change and maybe also farang ladies would done the same in similar situations.
Think in many situations the MIL is the powerful person, putting a lot of pressure on daughter. Then we also have the pressure of family loyalty and the absence of government social security  inThailand.
So i feel it is ok with "a little help" if they also contribute by themselves.
And even if a dowry of Thb 2-300.000,- is a big amount to most Thais (and also us who have to work hard getting them), it is mostly affordable for us.  Like to hope/think most falang also like/take interest in the family and their plans for the money and can have some influence on how it it  spendt. (but maybe im wrong )
If its spendt wisely and help providing them a better future, then feel a little "mai pen rai" about giving.
 

[den Buut]

A Thai with a good job makes 10000 to 15000 a month, so 200000 to 300000 is like 20 to 30 times a monthsalary. Say you make 2000 a month in Europe, this would mean if you merry a western woman you would have to pay her parents 40000 to 60000 Euro? BS, never paid and never will. I actually think no one pays it here, it's just the dumb farang.

[Al.]

Thais do pay as well.

My ex wifes brother has recently married in Sakon Nakhon the Sin Sod was 40,000 altogether with the wedding party it cost 70,000.

My ex-wife paid for it all that's how I know, so it's not just us that pay we are just expected to pay more.

When I married her about 12 years ago it was agreed that I would pay 100,000 and 5 baht gold but I would get 50,000 back after the wedding and seeing as she already had 3 baht gold I would only have to buy 2.

The gold is for the wife to keep the money goes to the parents who also paid for the wedding the party lasted 4 days.

a couple of day after her parents came to the hotel to see us carrying a big handbag. Her father looked embarrassed and was staring at the floor.

The bag was full of money mostly 100's and 20's I was told it came to about 44,000 they had spent too much on the wedding and that was all that was left which included as I later found out all they could scrape up.

I told them not to worry we are family now and I was very happy with the wedding in fact it was the best wedding I had ever been to and I wanted them to keep the money.

I always had a good relationship with them even to this day I do even though my ex-wife and I are no longer together we still remain friends and I am still welcome in their home my ex mother in law says she still regards me as her son.

[Jamaw]

I didn't get married in Thailand though, had a party when we got back though!

[lukey1979]

I told them not to worry we are family now and I was very happy with the wedding in fact it was the best wedding I had ever been to and I wanted them to keep the money.

Nice of you to do so, and lucky for the inlaws that you did. They will be expected to return that money to each and every guest eventually....
When I first went to the Thai parties (Weddings/funerals etc) I used to think It was a fantastic idea that the guests would slip the hosts an envelope of money to contribute back to the cost of the event. You soon realise though, that every party has a cashier who logs how much each guest donates. The Thais Keep these books and later, when they go to somebody elses party, they will give back exactly what they once recieved or maybe a little bit extra, gotta remember the old face issue!
Its obvious then, that the locals aren't really chipping in to ease the financial burden of the event, but are just loaning you the cash, with the expectation that you will give it back later, at a party of their own. (Still, Its not a bad idea, just not as saintly as it seems.)
We went to a wedding not long back, the MIL gave the family 200 bt. The family there threw a wobbly because she never gave them as much as they had given her before (Real classy stuff). The MIL went back home to check in her Log book, where it turns out the family wasn't recorded as giving a previous donation. Turns out the cashier from the MIL's party the week before had skimmed about 13000 baht. When he was approached, he could'nt give a monkies either.Lovely chap.

[Paddyram]

When we are back in Buriram on holiday, I like to head for the farang bars like Paddy's and have a few pints and a laugh with the long-time expats, like members on the forum here who have businesses, kids, house, etc., and who have obviously settled down in Buriram long-term.  The funny stories from days spent in sin city, new thaiglish phrases, discussions re: SinSod, gossip from the village, etc.  All good fun with people who are obviously happy here and have worked through the sinsod/family/visa issues that come with life there.  Their first-hand experiences, just like the discussions on the forum here are priceless for the 'new guys'.  [Admin, let me just say a well-overdue thank you on that score.  This forum has been very useful for me.]
BUT then I go shopping and my wife bumps into some of her old classmates or neighbours walking around with their new wallet, I mean farang.  Then right in front of me (in Thai), the old school friend openly asks my wife if she can take a young farang like me (i'm 33) for her, because her guy is too old and stingey.  All the while, I am standing there exchanging pleasantries with the love-sick farang, who is clueless about what is going on. 
For that reason alone, I would urge any 'new guy' not to rush into marriage and to take his time.  But you also need to be aware that resisting pressure from your GF’s family to get married (or spend loads of your money on them) will make them worried as to how helpful you will be to the family.  at this point some of her relatives will start telling her to look for a better farang (or a second one).
If you can politely refuse to pay the Sinsod or manage to postpone the wedding, but at the same time show them that you are going to ‘help’ your lady’s family (as long as she is still your lady) and not be a ‘kee nok’ farang.  Then if they still throw a wobbler and your lady insists that you pay the amount they are looking for, then you are being mugged.  You now have a simple choice, is she worth the risk ? Only you can answer that, but just accept that either way you might make the wrong choice.

[Paddyram]

Other ladies asking my wife to get them a new farang also pisses me off for another reason.  My 7 year old daughter would sometimes be with us listening to all this going on and I get a million questions from her when we go home.

I'm always tempted to tell the farang whats going on, but then what: he goes home, we go home and the wife's family are left with the hassle from the other family.  So i don't say anything. 

By now I honestly think the sly Thai GF's are very easy to spot.  I don't know why exactly but the sneaky ones always look sneaky to me.  So is it just me or do any of you think that the 'professional mia farangs' are easy to spot from the good wife material ?

[Paddyram]

I guess I just don’t see why everything has to be done in such a rush.  Too generalise wildly, I think that farangs in Thailand fall into three categories of ‘love’:

If you are in LOVE with the idea of living/retiring in Thailand = then live here for a while without committing to anything (house, car, etc.) to see if you really like it.
If you are in LOVE with the idea having a Thai wife (young and beautiful, of course) = that’s fine but why rush into committing to one lady.  Take your time, you’re spoilt for choice.
If you came on holiday to Walking Street (ahem, ... I mean holiday to Thailand) and ended up falling in LOVE with one specific Thai Lady.  I’ll admit it, like me, love at first lap dance (ahem .. I mean love at first glance) = then that’s fine too, so why not get to know the new ‘love of your life’ better first.   I did. I took the time, and I am Very, Very Happy now, seriously no joke I got really lucky.  However, she reminds me of that every day.

Den Buut, Do you still agree with me today ?

[den Buut]

Ofcourse

[Tommo]

There was me thinking you lot are bored with this topic! You have managed to nearly fill another page.

Thank you all very much for your helpful advice and sharing your experiences. There is obviously no right or wrong answer. It is obvious that the decision is all mine and depends on how much I love my Girlfriend and how much I want to be accepted into a very traditional enormous Thai family. I feel comfortable and safe in the knowledge that I'm not going to be fleeced (to much!).

I look forward to meeting  some of you folks over a beer (or two) in one of the ale houses advertising on here in the near future!

[dundeemk6]

Like you say Tommo ... everybody knows about it and should stay of it but then everybody I ever "warned" said : "but my girlfriend is different" ... and when I hear them say this I know it is time for me to shut up because they have "lost" it and are ready to taken to the cleaners ... and I don't care anymore about the cleaned out farangs anymore : som nam na ... I have even been asked by some thai lady to help them clean out the farang for a nice percentage ...  but untill now I have refrained from it ... why I don't know ... they are going to cleaned out anyway, why not grab a percentage of it ?!?!?!?