THE MONEY ONE HAS TO PAY FOR GETTING MARIED

[dundeemk6]

And that is only one poor sucker Nick ... many "farang" don't even dare to tell what they forked out ... on the outside like the thai : big face ... I am the BOSS ... but meek bleeding sheep inside the house ...

[manupete]

And that is only one poor sucker Nick ... many "farang" don't even dare to tell what they forked out ... on the outside like the thai : big face ... I am the BOSS ... but meek bleeding sheep inside the house ...

Yes they all say it was handed back after the wedding     

[Adam]

My wife didn't tell me about this and in the middle of the ceremony she told me I had to give some money to her mother (this was 11 years ago). So I say how much and she says up to you!!

So I give the MIL 2000 baht!!

11 years on and we have land and a big house a pick up paid in full, chickens, buffalo et al..they had nothing when we met.

I have a name plate outside of our house in thai that says "farang kee nok". Cos thats what the villagers called me after the wedding hahahaha!!

[olavhome]

I know it is a good "monthly salary" for thai-standard. About the sinsod it is much the same, but then again thinking we do the "party for papa" once and for all time, I was thinking about it as ok.
50% goes for paying off the Toyota, but then we (and them as well) has a reasonable safe car to drive.
What realy "worry" me the most is the lack of possibility to have land in your own name here in LOS

[Tommo]

Ok I have read all the posts on this topic. It is a little obstacle that is worrying me a little to! I am still in Uk at the moment but I intend to move out to LOS in October. I have studied for a TEFL  certificate and want to set up a buisiness teaching English privately to small groups. I don't have a degree so can't get work in a school. My girlfriend is from Buriram provence and she has small business in Lam Plai Mat. She also has degree in business management, teaching qualifications and good job doing accounts for her aunt in Bkk two days a month which keeps her in money! My dilema is, her mum wants 10baht in gold and 200,000 in cash for us to marry. I think this is quite reasonable because the family have lots of land around Lam Plai Mat so I can build a house for us to live pretty much where I like. A loan will be paid off that my girlfriend started a business with. The wedding party will come out of the 200,000 to. What do you think, am I getting a good deal?
Oh, I forgot to mention she is damn sexy too!

[Prakhonchai Nick]

That's 200K cash and around 220K for the gold.

An educated girl, But WHY should you have to buy her?

Are you getting a good deal? on the face of it....NO.

How old is she? married before? kids?

YOU need the money to set up home for you and your new wife. Make the MIL understand that!

[Tommo]

That is exactly what I am thinking to! She is 33 never been married, no kids, hard working. Maybe I have to grab the bull by the horns and tell them how it is! Or walk away, there is still plenty more fish in the sea!

[den Buut]

Ok I have read all the posts on this topic. It is a little obstacle that is worrying me a little to! I am still in Uk at the moment but I intend to move out to LOS in October. I have studied for a TEFL  certificate and want to set up a buisiness teaching English privately to small groups. I don't have a degree so can't get work in a school. My girlfriend is from Buriram provence and she has small business in Lam Plai Mat. She also has degree in business management, teaching qualifications and good job doing accounts for her aunt in Bkk two days a month which keeps her in money! My dilema is, her mum wants 10baht in gold and 200,000 in cash for us to marry. I think this is quite reasonable because the family have lots of land around Lam Plai Mat so I can build a house for us to live pretty much where I like. A loan will be paid off that my girlfriend started a business with. The wedding party will come out of the 200,000 to. What do you think, am I getting a good deal?
Oh, I forgot to mention she is damn sexy too!

She works 2 days a month and that keeps her in money?

[Jamaw]

I don't understand this! I met my Thai wife in Oman where she worked in the Gym at a posh hotel. After two years we got married there and built a house back in Nangrong where she's from. No money exchanged hands and none was asked for.

Sounds like some can see you coming and take the piss! If they have been married before and usually to a relatively poor Thai man then they should weigh up what life was like before and what it could be like in the future and if the relative get involved then just call it off as a few mates here have done!

[den Buut]

The subject is called "the moneyone HAS to pay", the answer is simple, nothing, and anybody who thinks this answer is wrong should seriously doubt himself.

[Tommo]

She works 2 days a month and that keeps her in money?


Yes true! Good job! Pays very well! She wouldn't want to get caught doing a crime on the day she works though!

I have a feeling a few people are a bit bored with this topic!
 I think we each have to make up our own minds about this, what is right or wrong is not really the question we should ask ourselves.
It helps to hear the views of others who have faced the same experiences. I will go off and make an informed decision on the knowledge I have benefited from today! I am sure I'll still be coming to LOS in October though I might have to negotiate a bit on the gold part of the sin sod it! 

[Paddyram]

Not aimed at anyone is particular but after reading the posts something struck me:

Why is everyone thinking of this as a deal ? as if they are wondering is it good value for money.  If you are still wondering that, or even thinking along those lines, why get married at all ?  If you can't sit down and (with many hand jesters and waving) make your new wife understand your concerns and If she doesnt at least try to make her family understand or try to mediate a better compromise with her parents, then what kind of a wife will she make for you down the road.

Also, remember that there are beautiful young women in Buriram that marry foreigners for a living and they don't necessarily wait for the first marriage to be over before the go looking for the next.

[Paddyram]

Your Feelings on Sin Sod aside, If a farang was marrying a farang and he couldn't discuss an important issue like this with his partner, you might say to that he is are clearly not ready to get married yet. 

For the guys here considering paying Sin Sod soon and have not been living in Thailand 'full-time' long then why not just live with her for a while longer, Why the rush to get married ?  Sin sod for the Thai family is supposed to be about showing off the new family member's wealth (yours) and proving to all onlookers (aka the whole village) that you can support this lady (and her family).  Why not live there for a while first and show by your actions rather than your words how you intend on treating her and her family.  You could also say that you do want to get married in the near future but in your culture people stay engaged for a longer time before marrying.  Explain all of this to her family and that you intend to marry for the long-haul and want to do it properly, not in a rush.  Their reaction should tell you a lot.

I married my wife only five days before we were moving back to my home country for good.  I would never have married her if we still lived on different continents, I only ever intended on marrying the one time .... but you know what they say about good intentions. 

[Jamaw]

We live in real times with reality I guess. When I see a young, petite Thai woman with an ugly obese farang then I know love it aint! So, if he has had to pay for it then it's on a long lease!

Marriage is marriage which means a 'mutual' arrangement and mutual respect and understanding. If money is mentioned then I'd get rid because marriage it aint!

[den Buut]

Paddyram, we agree on most subjects lately, I totally agree to you. It's beceause most of the men here are desperate and think they don't have time, and the woman aren't giving any, just beceause of the money.