THE MONEY ONE HAS TO PAY FOR GETTING MARIED

[Jamaw]

There is good and bad everywhere, that's just life. As one who has been to 38 countries, working in most of them and living in some I'd rather be here than anywhere else! It just surprises me when I hear of farangs being ripped off, perhaps they met them online or in a  bar down south! I also feel more than uncomfortable when I look around and see a young cute Thai woman with a man old enough to her grandfather and looking like rigormortice has set in, if it goes wrong it's because you invited it to!

[Admin]

Please note that each one of us are being seen from time to time by some people (who think they know something about Thai ladies) the EXACT way you are talking about 'sneaky' gf/wifes and everybody think their WIFE IS DIFFERENT! 
*LOVE.

Anyway, back to the point,
I like to look at people as individuals and not generalize people just because they fit to some stereotype in my head.

People are people and should be treated this way, A person that is not loyal to his partner is also not loyal to himself and you wouldn't want to share life with such a person anyway.

People who are picking up girls from certain establishments in 'sin city' need to expect complications even if the girl has good base of character, the life experience she had in her life will not make things easier....

Many of these girls are seeing money as love because when you pick a girl you have to pay because you like her/want her so logically this frame is still in their mind.
Do you love me? pay!

[Paddyram]

I think at this stage we all seem to be saying the same thing.  Sinsod: Thats the way they do it in Thailand, up to you if you want to do it too, and there are good and bad people everywhere, thats the chance you take.

But just to show the new guys a more optomistic view and for the Record:  My wife was a go-go dancer in Pattaya (U know how that go's).  I can't lie about where we met, even here in Ireland as some of my closer friends were with me when we all fell drunkenly through the door of the bar where she worked.  I had been to Thailand many times before that (all over, not just Sin City) and up to the point of meeting her I would have said that ALL farangs sending money over to Thai ladies, building houses, helping Pa's sick buffalo's,  etc. were all fools without exception.  Now, all I can say is that either I was wrong then, or I have joined those fools.  But I am a happy fool, so as we say in Ireland Fcuk the Begrudgers.

Specifically on Sinsod, we had a very big party, the whole village (and more) turned up and I made sure everybody was well fed and whiskeyed, invited the local cops, village head man etc all sitting down next to me trying to improve their English.  At the counting the money bit, I had about 4 baht in gold (that I was going to buy anyway for her mother) and whatever I had in the house which was 30,000 baht in cash.  Not much, but I did this on purpose.  It raised some eyebrows in the village but we didn't care, Wife's family just told the other villagers that this is not what we do in Ireland, but that they are happy that I am a good Man and will take care of them.  When all was done, I started to get really pissed off at the comments (that im not supposed to understand) from the other villagers about the small Sinsod, So I took her Dad shopping and Bought him a new four door Dmax with all the extras.  That shut the village up.

Admin, What about an anonimous pole where members can vote where they met their GF's/Wives/Boyfriends/whatever:

Bar / Go-go / Massage parlour / while working outside Thailand / in my home country / over the internet / in Buriram / Introduction by friend / while working together in Thailand / and any other options you can think of.
What do you think ?, it might be interesting.

[dundeemk6]

Al least an honnest man !!!!

Paddyram, my hat to you for stating the obvious.

If you have the means use them and don't begrudge the locals and make them "loose" face by bettering them ...


Most "farang" should crawl under a stone and never show up again ... bunch of cheap charlies ... when they are in Sin City or in another place of they are the great big spenders with the biggest mouth of all : "I know everything about the thai way" ... but once they are home they are the most tight "bastards" with no respect for any thai ...

This will hopefully be my last remark regarding this topic ...

May you live long and prosperous ...

[Jamaw]

I've only ever been to sin city once for a few hours and that was enough. Never been to Puket and only go to Bangkok on business. Met my wife in the Middle East, she worked in the gym of a very good international hotel and I was the training manager of an HSE training Institute. Got married there as we had so many friends, people came from 13 different countries and a full page in the newspaper, The Ambassador and his wife also attended. We had a few big parties back in Nangrong at the family farm.

Wherever or whatever, if you are both happy that's all that matters!"

[Vombatus]

Wherever or whatever, if you are both happy that's all that matters!"

That pretty much sums up this thread for me.

[Paddyram]

Thanks Dundeemk6,

So Admin what do you think about that pole on how we met our partners ?

[Admin]

Thanks Dundeemk6,

So Admin what do you think about that pole on how we met our partners ?

Done. VOTE! 

[Paddyram]

Thanks Almog

[aparasher]

Please note that each one of us are being seen from time to time by some people (who think they know something about Thai ladies) the EXACT way you are talking about 'sneaky' gf/wifes and everybody think their WIFE IS DIFFERENT! 
*LOVE.

No..what we are saying is that women are like closed book which is hard to understand. Add to that the cultural difference, partial blindness caused by love, our view of others' should be treated nicely and many other factors. All this creates more confusion and a few times some people take advantage of the situation.

Mind you, this happens both ways. You will hear many stories about farang taking advantage of girls too.

Another aspect of this is realism. Sin Sod is a long standing tradition in Thai society and we are asked to follow it. Some of us can negotiate it and get away with it, while others follow the traditional path of paying and leaving it with MIL.

Upto you. :p

[Al.]

In Europe, USA, Australia etc. where most of us come from a girls wedding day is something most of them have dreamed about since they were little girls playing with their dolls they want it to be as perfect as it can be for them,  Thai girls are no different in that respect.

I feel if you are going to marry a Thai girl or any girl her wishes beliefs and traditions should be respected after all it’s her big day and if you love her enough to marry her then you should try to make it as perfect as  you can for her.

Sin Sod may be alien to us but it is part of her tradition and part of the wedding ceremony. While some of us may feel we are being taken advantage that is not always the case in many cases it’s just for show and is returned to the bride and groom after the wedding.

Every wedding is different everybody’s circumstances are different and what appears to be happening on the surface is not always what actually happens.

For instance at some of the Hi So weddings in Bangkok there is a million or million’s of baht on the table that does not necessarily mean the money is kept by the bride’s parents or even that the groom has provided the money, in a lot of cases the two family’s have provided the money and take it back or give it back after the wedding, It’s all about “face” understand that and your halfway there.

Times are changing traditions are changing in the west it is traditional for the bride’s parents to pay for the wedding these days due to the high cost often running into many thousands it is often shared.

For the majority of us the girls we marry mostly come from a very poor background and family, her parents want to give their daughter a big wedding it gives them “face” which may not be important to us but it is to them, so if you can help them to do that you will gain a lot or respect from your future family and your new wife will love you even more for it.

Put things in perspective get your future wife on your side and negotiate remember the wedding is just the start of your life together and her family will then be your family as well it doesn’t end with the wedding.

Getting married costs money whether you are in Thailand or back in your own country personally after experiencing both I would much rather have a Thai wedding though it should be said for those that do not know I am talking about a wedding party in the village with the monks and everything.

The actual legal marriage is done at the Ampurs office which cost very little the letter from your embassy and translation costs a lot more.

[Jamaw]

I agree totally that if you marry a girl from another country you must abide by her customs and beliefs. I think what has been brought here is not the true meaning of Sin Sod but the abuse of it!

[Jamaw]

Sin Sot a definition?

OK here goes. It is difficult to gain a definition of this in Thailand. It is not a legal requirement but neither is it illegal!

It came to Thailand with Buddhism and of course the Indian influence. The dowry plays a large part in Indian culture and society, many Indian women have been murdered because of it. Anyway, it grew in Thailand and gradually got accepted by Northern Tribes. However, with the influx of Chinese it became more organised and businesslike (surprise surprise).

There are many different forms of sin sot throughout the world but one thing they all agree on is that the money was based upon the value of the virgin girl leaving a family. No claim on on dowry or sin sod is made for a second marriage unless the first was childless and anulled. So, there never has been sin sod for second marriages and where there are children from the first marriage, this has been added in recent decades by the demand for Thai brides!

[Tommo]

In Europe, USA, Australia etc. where most of us come from a girls wedding day is something most of them have dreamed about since they were little girls playing with their dolls they want it to be as perfect as it can be for them,  Thai girls are no different in that respect.

I feel if you are going to marry a Thai girl or any girl her wishes beliefs and traditions should be respected after all it’s her big day and if you love her enough to marry her then you should try to make it as perfect as  you can for her.

Sin Sod may be alien to us but it is part of her tradition and part of the wedding ceremony. While some of us may feel we are being taken advantage that is not always the case in many cases it’s just for show and is returned to the bride and groom after the wedding.

Every wedding is different everybody’s circumstances are different and what appears to be happening on the surface is not always what actually happens.

For instance at some of the Hi So weddings in Bangkok there is a million or million’s of baht on the table that does not necessarily mean the money is kept by the bride’s parents or even that the groom has provided the money, in a lot of cases the two family’s have provided the money and take it back or give it back after the wedding, It’s all about “face” understand that and your halfway there.

Times are changing traditions are changing in the west it is traditional for the bride’s parents to pay for the wedding these days due to the high cost often running into many thousands it is often shared.

For the majority of us the girls we marry mostly come from a very poor background and family, her parents want to give their daughter a big wedding it gives them “face” which may not be important to us but it is to them, so if you can help them to do that you will gain a lot or respect from your future family and your new wife will love you even more for it.

Put things in perspective get your future wife on your side and negotiate remember the wedding is just the start of your life together and her family will then be your family as well it doesn’t end with the wedding.

Getting married costs money whether you are in Thailand or back in your own country personally after experiencing both I would much rather have a Thai wedding though it should be said for those that do not know I am talking about a wedding party in the village with the monks and everything.

The actual legal marriage is done at the Ampurs office which cost very little the letter from your embassy and translation costs a lot more.

This is exactly what I wanted to hear! Thank you very much

[bartomeer]

The best marriage at the world.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcusk1s3no0&feature=player_embedded#at=13