THE MONEY ONE HAS TO PAY FOR GETTING MARIED

[Vombatus]

We live in real times with reality I guess. When I see a young, petite Thai woman with an ugly obese farang then I know love it aint! So, if he has had to pay for it then it's on a long lease!

Marriage is marriage which means a 'mutual' arrangement and mutual respect and understanding. If money is mentioned then I'd get rid because marriage it aint!

I seemed to have two 'break clauses' in my UK marriages !

I even changed my car every 3 years.

Reality is what you want it to be  - especially in Thailand.

[Tommo]

Your Feelings on Sin Sod aside, If a farang was marrying a farang and he couldn't discuss an important issue like this with his partner, you might say to that he is are clearly not ready to get married yet. 

For the guys here considering paying Sin Sod soon and have not been living in Thailand 'full-time' long then why not just live with her for a while longer, Why the rush to get married ?  Sin sod for the Thai family is supposed to be about showing off the new family member's wealth (yours) and proving to all onlookers (aka the whole village) that you can support this lady (and her family).  Why not live there for a while first and show by your actions rather than your words how you intend on treating her and her family.  You could also say that you do want to get married in the near future but in your culture people stay engaged for a longer time before marrying.  Explain all of this to her family and that you intend to marry for the long-haul and want to do it properly, not in a rush.  Their reaction should tell you a lot.

I married my wife only five days before we were moving back to my home country for good.  I would never have married her if we still lived on different continents, I only ever intended on marrying the one time .... but you know what they say about good intentions. 

Thank you for those wise words. I will try that. All I need to do now is sort out my visa, but that is another topic!

[Prakhonchai Nick]

Also, remember that there are beautiful young women in Buriram that marry foreigners for a living and they don't necessarily wait for the first marriage to be over before the go looking for the next.

Very well said Paddy. I know of 2 in my village. One married a Northern European, he returned home after 2 days , and just over 9 months later she gave birth - err - to a Non European child.  The North European is none the wiser, and still pays her a fortune every month!

On the specific topic of sinsod, I have seen Thai men borrow the money required to keep MIL happy, only for the newly weds to have to work overtime for the next couple of years or more to pay back the loan and horrendous interest charged, never having time to socialise, nor money to find a decent home for themselves. And the MIL is off playing cards and making donations to the Wat with her new found wealth, caring fcuk-all for her daughhter and new husband!

 DON'T DO IT!

[Admin]

'Sinson' issue has been discussed in the past and it's simply a tradition, genuine Thai tradition, now of course some Thai ladies are taking advantage on this tradition but you can't generalize all of them for it, in the same way a western women can take advantage on the MARRIAGE LAW in the west, so in both cases you have to seek and look if the relationship is genuine or not.

Pay the 'sinsod' if it's reasonable amount (100K-200K Baht is a reasonable amount for me, 2-7 Baht Gold MAX), It's normal, you help the family, you keep your wife happy and she won't deny her family and tradition for such a thing.

BTW, in the past it was part of many cultures tradition but as people become more wealthy and independent the tradition in many cases left only on the paper.

+
A wedding in Thailand will cost you around 300K-600K Baht all included while a wedding in the west will cost you anywhere between 50,000-100,000 USD.


A proud 'sinsod' payer!

[Jamaw]

True Almog, but many 'traditions' are ope to abuse, India is a prime example of that!

If you have a good relationship and happy marriage then money shouldn't come into it.

My step-son was 9 when I first met him, a lost soul. He is now 12, top of his class in all subjects including English, computer literate, strong and fit and good at many sports. I took him to UK when he was 10, met my daughters and his new cousins and they looked after him taking him all round London. That is worth more than money! The family do ok as I make sure if they need anything I help, as all families do. I bought a motorcycle for my Thai brother-in-law as he lives quite far out and has helped us in our home.

Money on its own has doubtful motivation!

[den Buut]

A wedding in Thailand will cost you around 300K-600K Baht all included while a wedding in the west will cost you anywhere between 50,000-100,000 USD.


Who told you this? It's simply not true. If you pay so much you're beeing screwed over.

[lukey1979]

Don't pay it on the grounds that you believe it proves to the family and community that you are able to take care financially of their daughter, that's codswallop.

You marry, buy/build a house, purchase a car, take care of the kids, send them to decent schools, be generous to the temple or whatever.
The family and community will take note, they don't miss a trick.
All for the sake of inflating the In-laws ego for one day? Don't bother. If they are genuine, decent people, they will get over it and compromise.
If they don't, then move elsewhere.
Like other posters have said, it's money YOU need to start up a new life with your wife, If you hand it over to the inlaws, chances are, it will be spunked up the wall.

[Jamaw]

Lukey - agreed. Some ''uncles & cousins'' tried it on at first wanting to 'borrow' money. So I asked how can you pay it back when you don't have a job or regular source of income? My wife is good, a switched on clever Thai woman who explained to some family members that we are not a registered charity and don't compete with Oxfam! They need to learn that handouts are not on but there are some farangs that can only get a woman buy paying for it and they deserve to be shafted by devious women.

Generally, Thai women are fairly sharp and work hard. It's the men that are lazy! I've been to 38 countries and seen many Thai and Filipina women working long periods away from home, I rarely see Thai men do this!

''If a man is starving don't give him fish, give him a fishing rod!''

[Jamaw]

When all is said and done Thai's don't have the same understanding of money as we do, a simplistic and naive approach to say the least!

[lukey1979]

Like it !
It's the hand to mouth existence that they live in these parts. Many don't see past today, and certainly don't have the funds to plan for the future. Offer them 10000 baht at the end of the week or 1000 bt today, and the majority will take the latter.

[Vombatus]

Some extremely sensible comments on this thread (except for Admin!  )  -  there is hope for us yet. 

[Jamaw]

There is a family of 5 that live in a nice house near me, 3 over 21. They got his house when one of them met an Aussie, she 26 he 66. He paid the deposit for the house about 50% and then pressure was put on him for more and he left (good on him). Then, the other two had an Aussie and Englishman. The Oz bloke put his foot down after a while as she wanted money for her 3 kids schooling, he refused, so they split, she has the house! The English bloke 43, was going out with the youngest, met in Pukhet. After about a year pressure was put on him to get married etc but he didn't tell her he was still married, waiting for a divorce. He mouthed off about how much money he has, cutting to the chase, she got deliberately pregnant (definately his). He lost his job and is broke in UK. She has gone back down south to look for an older, naive man leaving the kid with grannie, the other two are already there. Nice house, only half paid for but still paid for by idiots with cocks for brains!

[lukey1979]

Sounds like the plot for a good soap mate.

[Jamaw]

I have seen at least 8 grown men come and go (or cum and go) in that house in the past few years. Met them down south, all but one well over 60. A hungry dog wouldn't look at them in their own countries so do they actually believe that when landing in Thailand they suddenly become attractive?

One of the Aussie blokes lost a lot of money and went back home to Brisbane. I have no real opinion on this; they are whores, and the men, naive and ignorant have their brains in their pants so they get what they deserve!

[lukey1979]

A fool and his money are soon parted.