SIN SOD question. How much?

[bobb]

in buriram would a SIN SOD or Sin Soot be expected, according to Thai Culture, for a
lady's second marriage...and also a child...if so...what would be the acceptable
amount...what part does gold play in the prospective marriage
 
would greatly appreciate a response...have no real source of info....Bob in the U.S.
 
Nothing is certain about tomorrow.                                               
The things that unite us are far greater than the things that keep us apart.  BB

[ducati05]

bobb,
 I can only relate to you what happened to me, my wife was a widow with a 2 yr old when we meet, 2 yrs later
we married (Amphur) not Village cerimony as my wife didn't feel it was nessesary,and as I have been married before
I had been there and done that also.
  When I asked her about Sinsot she explained to me that as she was a widower or more importantly a single parent
no Sinsot was needed or will be asked for.... But I personaly would of payed something as she is a great girl and her daughter is now like my own..
 But I help out the family where I can and that makes up for it..
  Her mother gave her some good advise when we first met, she told her "To never ask for more than you need" and
till today my wife and her family have lived by that..her family are just happy that they have a chance of a better life.. Choc Dee 
 

[dundeemk6]

When the lady was married before the umu already recieved a sinsot ... and when they split the mum isn't going to give it back ... so second-hand bribes should be sinsot free ... just my opinion ... I live here in Lahansai since 2003 ... legally married but never a thai wedding nor sinsot ... I help her mum out once in while, pay for water and electricity, pay for the maintenance of the bike she got from us ... but that now all ... and we don't live next to the family = is worth a fortune ...

[bobb]

got and read two replys...both of value to me...Thanks for your personal time

[ducati05]

... and we don't live next to the family = is worth a fortune ...

Amen there brother.............

[Pee Nuu]

There isn't any such standard answer to the sin sod query, as every situation and marriage will be different.

[Prakhonchai Nick]

Although I have heard that a second marriage is sinsod free - my wife disputes this. A 2nd marriage is occurring in my village -both Thais - and a large sinsod has been demanded.

Nevertheless, I do not agree with sinsods,  and with 2 Thai marriages under my belt (both amphur registrations only) I have not paid a baht!, It did help that when I first met my 2nd wife, and just talking about life in general, with no thoughts of a relationship developing, (basically because I was far to old for her!) I said that if I ever remarried, there would be no sinsod, no village wedding and no monks.          She never forgot what I said, and never even asked for these. Best to put your cards on the table from the very beginning!   

I'm still far too old for her (even though she's getting on a bit!) but we've been together 13 years, and all is fine!. Perhaps though time for a trade in! 

[bobb]

never been in a chat room...so don't really know how to navigate...thanks to all who have responded...along with the info...I've really enjoyed the happy faces...bobb new onboard

[kiwijack]

Hey Bob,
For what it's worth, my wife had a child before I met her though never actually married, even Thai style, so no  sin sot ever paid.

In our case, it was just a face thing & she arranged with her parents that sin sot be paid but immediately returned after the event.. as I recall 99,999 baht cash & 2 x 2 baht gold necklaces.. this nearly 10 years ago.

So it was a win win thing... they had big face  & I paid nothing .Though we did have ( & paid for )the usual party which was a ripper.
I suggest you talk it over with the prospective missus.. pointless starting on the wrong foot!!

All the best. Richard.

[Pragmatic]

Although I have heard that a second marriage is sinsod free - my wife disputes this. A 2nd marriage is occurring in my village -both Thais - and a large sinsod has been demanded.

Your wife is correct Nick. I know a few Thais who have remarried and paid Sin-sot. Sometimes the second Sin-sot can be be more than the one paid first time. It all boils down to how much one can afford. With most, the Sin-sot is returned, to the groom,after the ceremony. Children in a second marriage are not a stumbling block, as some people seem to think. A Thai man will take on another mans kids, contrary to popular belief.
Now if the intended is/was a bar-girl then Sin-sot is not paid. She is the lowest of the low and a Thai man wouldn't touch her with a barge pole. Whereas westerners can't help themselves. Consequently that is why Thais see 'farangs' as being total fools in marrying them. Okay, some  may say 'oh my wife (ex bar-girl), and me, are well liked, by others, in the village. Dream on, you're only accepted for what you have and what they may gain. It's all show. A typical Thai trait.
A western guy said to me the other day that his 50/50 child is looked down on by local Thais. No it isn't. It's automatically assumed that the chances of having a 50/50 child is the due to a westerner having married a bar-girl.It's the parents that are looked down upon.
Anyone who thinks I'm talking out of my ass need to go speak to some honest, straight talking Thai , instead of the false smiling ones
Back to the Sin-sot question. Nah, don't pay one. Start as you mean to go on. 

[Dave the Dude]

Good post Praggers!

[manupete]

what you have and what they may gain

I think that sums up why Thai-ladies want to marry a westerner in the first place.If you was to ask any Thai lady to be honest"If she had an option of either marrying a rich Thai or a rich westerner "The Thai would win hands down.
Coming back to Pragmatic post ( ) and Village mentality,I was told by local Thais that all Thai women that have a farang husbands meet them whilst working in the sex industry as that is the only place to meet farangs.( I was told by a Thai so it must be true    )Jealously ,hatred and gossip are riff in the villages, to be honest who gives a fook what other locals think,As I have said before " I haven't come to Isaan to win a popularity contest with the local Villagers".I'm nice to all the locals,Do they talk about us behind our back .Who cares.

[dundeemk6]

Quite right manupete ... it always makes me smile when I hear every new farang on the block : "but my wive is different" ... they think they all got the one and only gem ... till the cold shower comes ... most farang who only stay for short bursts of time can forget it ... do they really believe the missus stays pure and virginal when they are back to their country ?!? ... but you need all kind of fools to populate the earth ... this isn't exclusive to thai birds ... it happens all over the world ... the bloke that goes to work overseas for a few months for some nice pay also hopes the misses stays "pure" ...

[mike]

the bloke that goes to work overseas for a few months for some nice pay also hopes the misses stays "pure" ...

And the misses hopes the bloke stays "pure" 

[kiwijack]

Seems this thread is getting off the OP but the notion that ALL thai farang relations are doomed is flawed in my opinion.
I am not off with the fairies & know exactly the basis of my own relationship & have no concerns regardless.
Anyway,  a bit of prudence can help.

The generalisations might reflect personal experience more than reality, I don't know.

But I do know some LONG term Thai Farang couples where the gems are still shining.
What's around the corner? Who knows but I don't lose any sleep worrying about things that may well never happen.
Maybe it's called stupidity. Maybe it's called trust, but like everything in life, a relationship has to have a solid foundation.

Good luck with yours.It's not all doom & gloom.