Happy Endings Golf Society

[Dave the Dude]

Why do you need replacements?

[dimple joe]

STOP PRESS - HEGS UPDATE

It is gratifying to see the query regarding HEGS which flooded in on May 2nd.

It is nice to know that so many miss the reports previously submitted.

The society continues to flourish, with a new member (Claes “Lefty” Staffansson, from Sweden) filling the ranks and creating new and interesting situations – if you're not paying attention, sometimes it looks like he is playing the game in reverse......

We've also had several temporary visitors to Buriram join us on our twice weekly jaunts around Khoa Kadong, notably an extremely famous member of the Circus profession who kept us in giggles for a couple of weeks.

Sadly our Chairman and Captain continue to be conspicuous by their absence, in fact our newest member is beginning to wonder if they are merely myths or legends.

On Tuesday 10th we are playing away at Surin after sorting visas and 90 day stamps; but on Thursday, our Chairman, recently returned from duties at a certain wedding in London, has promised to join us in Buriram. (it was a definite maybe anyway)

The results each week have been as before, with “The Shirt” invariably winning. The only change has been the meteoric rise of  “Speedy Gonzales” who's game has improved so much that he now regularly beats “the slim good looking one” into third place. Hard to believe I know, but true....

“Dangerous Dave” remains consistent; playing one or two fabulous shots per hole, usually followed by multiple chips and putts....

We all still have great fun, enjoying the exercise, banter and camaraderie, not to mention the caddies.

Signed

Hon Sec

[Vombatus]

I am delighted that the society is flourishing. I  hope to play a round with you in the not too distant future.

[Clasta]

Hi guys

And thank you for the introduction and the flattering nickname. And yes, sometimes I'm not sure myself if I play reverse or not
But, as you say, we have a lot of fun, and with a little more practice I'm sure I will get better.

If you like to have a laugh click on this link http://www.youtube.com/user/clasta57#p/u/4/sz3yc_YxyFk

"Lefty"

[attachment deleted by admin]

[lungrocky]

looks like nothing has changed since i left to go to australia, looking fwd to a game with you guys early january when i visit, have not played golf since i arrived as the competition would just not be as fierce as it was with the professional althetes of the happy ending golf society who i proudly call my mates.
cheers rocky  and keep up the practise you will need it for when i return!

[candy]

If you look at where speedy's foot is and then follow the trajectory of the ball you will possibly come to the same conclusion as myself.   He hoofed it 

 And there is no club.However in the second photo the club seems to be half way up his..........

[dimple joe]

HEGS Awayday Khon Kaen

23rd and 24th the some of the society went to Khon Kaen for an awayday.

We stayed and played at Dan Coon which came highly recommended and we were not disappointed. Both were sports days and we got two rounds of golf with caddies and buggies, overnight accommodation including breakfast for 1900 Baht.

The Hotel & Clubhouse complex is modern and clean, in fact almost too good for us! All the staff were welcoming and could not do enough for us, the food was good and the rooms comfortable.

The only sour note was from some ill mannered farangs who caught up with as we were putting out and impatiently bellowed “Leo Leo” from about 100 yards back. Our resident thug “the shirt” gave them short shrift and luckily they got the message before any blood was spilt.

The course is relatively new (2007 or 8 I think) with wide fairways and very little rough, which ensured any wayward shots were not too severely punished. There is plenty of water and even an island green which was another matter entirely.... The greens are lightning fast and a missed two foot putt often resulted in the ball going fifteen feet past the hole.

The evenings Soapy Adventure was a washout as per our recent trip to Korat, due this time to misunderstandings, rather than the late hour, so once again we all remained as chaste as a group of Nuns. If our next trip is the same we will have to change the name of the society or we will get done under the trades description act.

Despite this we had great fun, “the shirt” played well as usual, shooting in the high eighties or low nineties on both days, but “lefty”, “dangerous” and yours truly were definite also rans, shooting well into three figures – no change there then.

It was great to hear from Rocky in a recent post - we all look forward to your upcoming visit.

Signed

Hon Sec

[Vombatus]

Having retrieved my clubs from the attic (after their 5 year sabbatical) I am ready to have another go at golf. After all if some 18 year old kid from Italy can crack it, I am sure that I am in with a shout.

I just have a couple of questions:-

1. What is the joining fee, and sundry terms & conditions, for becoming a member of HEGS
2. Is there a driving range, or similar, where I can hone my swing (I say swing, because I was previously referred to as  'axe chopper' and occasionally, rather unkindly, as 'snake-clubber'  - I suspect out of jealousy rather than any meaningful, or accurate, insult).
3. Balls.  Where can I get some and do they sell Dunlop 65's locally ?
4. Caddies... (snigger, snigger) - are the stories true and what should I reasonably expect. Equally important - how much should I expect to pay ?

[Dave the Dude]

Sounds like another CoCo holiday coming on!

[dimple joe]

Hey Ray,

Glad to hear you have finally dusted off your clubs and we all look forward to seeing you soon. We play every Tuesday & Thursday, tee off at 08.00 as soon as "the king" is finished and the flag is raised.

HEGS has no rules, regulations, joining fees, funny handshakes or any of that; you just need your clubs and a sense of humour.

If you decide to join Khao Kadong golf club itself, the joining fee is a massive 1500Baht, visitor green fees for nine holes including caddy fee are I think 325Baht while members pay 175Baht; playing a second nine costs an additional 70Baht, but most of us are usually on the verge of collapse after nine and head into town for breakfast.

The club is pretty laid back, many people play in trainers and most farangs wear shorts, but there are no practice facilities at all. Buriram has a golf range on the Surin road, not sure of the opening times as my swing has reached a level of perfection where practice is not required.

Balls (you'll need plenty) can be bought at the clubhouse and in the drink station (you can also buy a glove there sometimes) after the 4th hole. The balls are not new - is experienced is the correct term? - a pyramid of I think 10 balls in a clear plastic bag cost 100Baht, they've been sorted into brands so you can choose which you prefer to hook, slice or blast into the jungle or water etc.

Caddies, you should expect a diminutive figure dressed like Nanook of the North, with just smiling eyes visible under swathes of towels etc., even on the hottest day; most speak very little english but probably will be a pleasant companion and advisor on your walk. It's the luck of the draw really, some are excellent at finding your ball in the jungle or indicating the line of a putt while others are a waste of space. They will all expect a tip at the end. Stories of extra curricular activities are mostly apocryphal or wishful thinking unless you are a young Adonis or looking for a wife.

The course is easy to find. On the right hand side coming in from Prakhon Chai there are three gateways into Army Camps in a long series of white walls, you need to go in the third one. If you go down the hill towards the traffic lights you've missed it – U turn and go in the first entrance on the left. Minimal to zero security on the gate, just smile and wave and you're in.

No vehicle check, search or inspection and definitely no body cavity search, although I guess if you ask one could be arranged.....

We will look out for your portly figure in stout brogues, woollen hose, tweed plus fours, collar and tie with tweed jacket and flat cap, starting tomorrow.

Signed

Hon Sec

[dimple joe]

Happy Endings Golf Society 17/06/2011

Combined Tuesday and Thursday results are:-

1st    Fiona “Red” Adair (provisional member)
2nd   Brian “Speedy” White   
3rd   “Dangerous” Dave Sabino
4th   “The slim good looking one”

Our numbers were sorely depleted this week.

There were the usual no shows from our Chairman and Captain and the much promised visit by a certain rotund figure from Prakhon Chai, again did not happen.

“Lefty” has gone back to Sweden for a while and “The Shirt” is on a short visit to the UK.

Luckily, we have a new provisional member - Fiona Adair – so we managed a four ball on both days.

There was confusion about the dress code on Tuesday, (Fiona was told she should just wear what she normally wears while playing a round, but I think she miss heard it as “playing around”) the rest of us could not concentrate and were soundly beaten. - see attached picture.

Thursday was better, but concentration was still difficult at times as the results show.

It will be interesting to see if Fiona gets blackballed when her application for full membership is considered.

She will probably get lots of “yes” votes, in fact all three of us agreed we would give her one.

Signed
Hon Sec 

[Vombatus]

Happy Endings Golf Society 17/06/2011

Combined Tuesday and Thursday results are:-

1st    Fiona “Red” Adair (provisional member)
2nd   Brian “Speedy” White   
3rd   “Dangerous” Dave Sabino
4th   “The slim good looking one”

Our numbers were sorely depleted this week.

There were the usual no shows from our Chairman and Captain and the much promised visit by a certain rotund figure from Prakhon Chai, again did not happen.

“Lefty” has gone back to Sweden for a while and “The Shirt” is on a short visit to the UK.

Luckily, we have a new provisional member - Fiona Adair – so we managed a four ball on both days.

There was confusion about the dress code on Tuesday, (Fiona was told she should just wear what she normally wears while playing a round, but I think she miss heard it as “playing around”) the rest of us could not concentrate and were soundly beaten. - see attached picture.

Thursday was better, but concentration was still difficult at times as the results show.

It will be interesting to see if Fiona gets blackballed when her application for full membership is considered.

She will probably get lots of “yes” votes, in fact all three of us agreed we would give her one.

Signed
Hon Sec 

That girl has a hookers grip if I ever saw one.


The portly one from Prakhonchai will be joining you shortly - just have a slight diversion with a Cambodia visit next week. Mentally aiming for w/c 27th - just need 10 mins down the range to rediscover my swing.

The correct term for nearly new balls (golf or otherwise) is, I believe "bruised".

[Prakhonchai Nick]

Never mind bruised balls CoCo. There might be a bruised ego!

[Vombatus]

Never mind bruised balls CoCo. There might be a bruised ego!

For somebody who has no interest in football or golf, you don't half crop up a lot !

[Prakhonchai Nick]

Much more interested in golf than footy. Caddies and the 19th hole especially! And of course there is Ladies Golf. Some stunners recently playing in Pattaya!