Happy Endings Golf Society

[TBWG]

    Golf Etiquette   .  .  . 


                                                         


            A Golfer accidentally overturned his cart.

            Elizabeth, a "beautiful" real golfer who lived in a villa on the golf course heard the noise and yelled over to him.

            "Hey, are you okay, what's your name?"

            "Sean," he replied.
             
            "Sean forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest up and I'll help you get the cart up later."

            "That's mighty nice of you," Sean answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it."

            "Aw come on," Elizabeth insisted.

            She was very pretty and persuasive.

            "Well okay," Sean finally agreed, and added, "but my wife won't like it."

            After a hearty drink AND sexy driving and putting lessons, Sean thanked his host.  "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be real upset."

            "Don't be foolish!" Elizabeth said with a smile, she won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"

            "Under the cart!"


 

[Bigbus]

This is multiple choice. If you select a wrong answer, the ball moves only so far down the fairway and stops and you are charged with one stroke.

Keep selecting the answers that you think are correct and the ball moves down the fairway until you get the right answer and the ball goes in the hole.

If you have the correct answer right away, the ball goes directly in the hole - a hole in one.

This is multiple choice. If you select a wrong answer, the ball moves only so far down the fairway and stops and you are charged with one stroke.

Keep selecting the answers that you think are correct and the ball moves down the fairway until you get the right answer and the ball goes in the hole.

If you have the correct answer right away, the ball goes directly in the hole - a hole in one.

 http://www.cincinnati.com/golf/golfquiz/html/brand.htm


 

[Bigbus]

Must have sound on to get the full effect of this short video.

Always practice safety when taking chip shots on the golf course. If you don't care anything about golf, watch this very short video anyhow and I know you'll learn something valuable. Turn your sound up and you can actually hear it hit.



http://www.youtube.com/embed/XRIzE_xMqMI

[TBWG]

Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland UK:
 


BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.


FORM A LOOSE GRIP.


KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!


STAY OUT OF THE WATER.


TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.


IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET
OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU


DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.


QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.


DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.


WELL DONE.. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF


TBWG

[Bigbus]

Something similar has happened to me....to funny..

[TBWG]

Is this what you guys do up at the golf course?

http://www.youtube.com/everyshotimaginable


TBWG

[Bigbus]

A REAL Man's Golf Cart

[TBWG]

Four old timers were playing their weekly game of
golf, one remarked how nice it would be to wake up
on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without
an argument go directly to the golf course, meet his buddies
and play a round.

His buddies all chimed in said, "Let's do it! We'll
make it a priority; figure out a way and meet here
early, Christmas morning."

Months later, that special morning arrives, and
there they are on the golf course. The first guy
says, "Boy this game cost me a fortune! I bought my
wife a diamond ring that she can't take her eyes
off it."

The second guy says, "I spent a ton too. My wife
is at home planning the cruise I gave her. She was
up to her eyeballs in brochures."

The third guy says "Well my wife is at home
admiring her new car, reading the manual."

They all turned to the last guy in the group who is
staring at them like they have lost their minds.
"I can't believe you all went to such expense for this
golf game. I slapped my wife on the bum and said, Well luv, Merry
Christmas! It's a great morning -- intercourse or
golfcourse --'

She said, Dont forget your
sweater.

[TBWG]

Involuntary Muscle Contraction?


Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to the first year medical students.
This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know what your arsehole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'
She replied, 'Probably golfing with his mates.'
It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom!

[Bigbus]

 
 
Golf Handicaps
 
A businessman was attending a conference in Africa . He had a free day and wanted to play a round of golf and was directed to a golf course in the nearby jungle. After a short journey, he arrived at the course and asked the pro if he could get on.

“Sure,” said the pro, “What’s your handicap?”

Not wanting to admit that he had an 18 handicap, he decided to cut it a bit. “Well, it’s 16,” said the businessman, “but what’s the relevance since I’ll be playing alone?”

“It’s very important for us to know,” said the pro, who then called a caddy.

“Go out with this gentleman,” said the pro, “his handicap is 16.”
The businessman was very surprised at this  constant reference to his handicap. The caddy picked up the businessman’s bag and a large rifle. Again, the businessman was surprised, but decided to ask no questions. They arrived on the 1st hole, a par-4.

“It’s wise to avoid those trees on the left,” said the caddy. Needless to say, the businessman duck-hooked his ball into the trees. He found his ball and was about to punch it out when he heard the loud crack of the rifle and a large snake fell dead from a tree above his head.
The caddy stood next to him with the rifle smoking in his hand. “That’s the Black Mamba, the most poisonous snake in all Africa . You’re lucky I was here with you.”

After taking a bogey, they moved to the 2nd hole, a par-5. “Good to avoid those bushes on the right,” says the caddy. Of course, the businessman’s ball went straight into the bushes. As he went to pick up his ball, he heard the loud crack of the caddy’s rifle once  again, and a huge lion fell dead at his feet.

“I’ve saved your life again,” said the caddy.
The 3rd hole was a par-3 with a lake in front of the green. The businessman’s ball came up just short of the green and rolled back to the edge of the water. To take a shot, he had to stand with one foot in the lake. As he was about to swing, a large crocodile emerged from the water and bit off much of his right leg. As he fell to the ground bleeding and in great pain, he saw the caddy with the rifle propped at his side, looking on unconcernedly.

“Why didn’t you kill it?” asked the man incredulously.

“I’m sorry, sir,” said the caddy. “This is the 17th handicap hole. You don’t get a shot here.”

And that, my golfing friends, is why you should never lie about your handicap!
 
 

[TBWG]

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[Bigbus]

Beats  reading !!!!! .............

[Albert]

Extremest golf hole ever! 1.000.000 USD for a hole in one!

[TBWG]

  Michelle Wie - pro golfer.
   
  Matching lavender outfit worth $2000.
   
  New pair of French sunglasses worth $500.
   
  NIKE products Endorsements worth $10,000,000.
                 
                   
 
                      That handy gadget to hold your putter ....
 
   
    Priceless!!!
 

[Bigbus]

Bad Day At Golf...