Ring any bells?

[TBWG]

EATING 50/60 YEARS AGO – BET YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN MOST OF THEM

For those who are old enough to remember - enjoy.

For the rest - it's a history lesson...!!

Very surprising how time and memory has taken its toll.

Have things really changed this much in our time?

---------------------------------------------------
EATING IN THE UK IN THE FIFTIES
   
Pasta had not been invented.
   
Curry was a surname.
   
A takeaway was a mathematical problem.
   
A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower.
   
Bananas and oranges only appeared at Christmas time.
   
All crisps were plain; the only choice we had was whether to put the salt on or not.
   
A Chinese chippy was a foreign carpenter.
   
Rice was a milk pudding, and never, ever part of our dinner.
   
A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.
   
Brown bread was something only poor people ate.
   
Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking
   
Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.
   
Coffee was Camp, and came in a bottle.
   
Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.
   
Only Heinz made beans.
   
Fish didn't have fingers in those days.
   
Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sushi.
   
None of us had ever heard of yoghurt.
   
Healthy food consisted of anything edible.
   
People who didn't peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.
   
Indian restaurants were only found in India.
   
Cooking outside was called camping.
   
Seaweed was not a recognised food.
   
"Kebab" was not even a word never mind a food.
   
Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white gold.
   
Prunes were medicinal.
   
Surprisingly, muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed.
   
Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever seen a picture of a real one.
   
Water came out of the tap, if someone had suggested bottling it and charging more than petrol for it they would have become a laughing stock.
   
The one thing that we never ever had on our table in the fifties .. was elbows!
 
                   
 
 

 
 

 

 EATING 50/60 YEARS AGO – BET YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN MOST OF THEM

For those who are old enough to remember - enjoy.

For the rest - it's a history lesson...!!

Very surprising how time and memory has taken its toll.

Have things really changed this much in our time?

---------------------------------------------------
EATING IN THE UK IN THE FIFTIES
   
Pasta had not been invented.
   
Curry was a surname.
   
A takeaway was a mathematical problem.
   
A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower.
   
Bananas and oranges only appeared at Christmas time.
   
All crisps were plain; the only choice we had was whether to put the salt on or not.
   
A Chinese chippy was a foreign carpenter.
   
Rice was a milk pudding, and never, ever part of our dinner.
   
A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.
   
Brown bread was something only poor people ate.
   
Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking
   
Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.
   
Coffee was Camp, and came in a bottle.
   
Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.
   
Only Heinz made beans.
   
Fish didn't have fingers in those days.
   
Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sushi.
   
None of us had ever heard of yoghurt.
   
Healthy food consisted of anything edible.
   
People who didn't peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.
   
Indian restaurants were only found in India.
   
Cooking outside was called camping.
   
Seaweed was not a recognised food.
   
"Kebab" was not even a word never mind a food.
   
Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white gold.
   
Prunes were medicinal.
   
Surprisingly, muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed.
   
Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever seen a picture of a real one.
   
Water came out of the tap, if someone had suggested bottling it and charging more than petrol for it they would have become a laughing stock.
   
The one thing that we never ever had on our table in the fifties .. was elbows!
 
                   
 
 

 
 

 

 

[tommynew]

And the forties (especially wartime)

[TBWG]

Someone please tell me what the Hell is wrong with
all the people that run UK!!!
LABOUR, CONSERVATIVES
&
LIBERALS, say
We're "broke"
and can't help
our own
Seniors,
Veterans,
Orphans,
Homeless,
etc.,???

In the last years we have provided direct cash aid to
Haiti- 1.4 B,
Hamas - 351 M,
Pakistan- 2 B,
Libya1.45 B,
Egypt- 397 M,
Mexico- 622 M,
Russia- 380 M,
Haiti- 1.4 B,
Jordan- 463 M,
Kenya- 816 M,
Sudan- 870 M,
Nigeria- 456 M,
Uganda- 451 M,
Congo- 359 M,
Ethiopia- 981 M,
South Africa- 566 M,
Senegal- 698 M,
Mozambique- 404 M,
Zambia- 331 M,
Kazakhstan- 304 M,
Iraq- 1.08 B,
Tanzania- 554 M,
  with literally Billions
and they still
hate us!!!
 
Our retired seniors
living on a 'fixed income'
do they get any breaks while our government
and religious organisations pour Hundreds of Billions
and Tons of Food
to Foreign Countries!


What about India we give them the best part £500m a year, half the population don't have access to a toilet BUT they are about to launch a mission to Mars. (the planet not the chocolate bar HQ.) WTF is that all about?   We really are stupid we get the politicians we deserve.
 

[Kingussie]

Someone please tell me what the Hell is wrong with
all the people that run UK!!!
LABOUR, CONSERVATIVES
&
LIBERALS, say
We're "broke"
and can't help
our own
Seniors,
Veterans,
Orphans,
Homeless,
etc.,???

In the last years we have provided direct cash aid to
Haiti- 1.4 B,
Hamas - 351 M,
Pakistan- 2 B,
Libya1.45 B,
Egypt- 397 M,
Mexico- 622 M,
Russia- 380 M,
Haiti- 1.4 B,
Jordan- 463 M,
Kenya- 816 M,
Sudan- 870 M,
Nigeria- 456 M,
Uganda- 451 M,
Congo- 359 M,
Ethiopia- 981 M,
South Africa- 566 M,
Senegal- 698 M,
Mozambique- 404 M,
Zambia- 331 M,
Kazakhstan- 304 M,
Iraq- 1.08 B,
Tanzania- 554 M,
  with literally Billions
and they still
hate us!!!
 
Our retired seniors
living on a 'fixed income'
do they get any breaks while our government
and religious organisations pour Hundreds of Billions
and Tons of Food
to Foreign Countries!


What about India we give them the best part £500m a year, half the population don't have access to a toilet BUT they are about to launch a mission to Mars. (the planet not the chocolate bar HQ.) WTF is that all about?   We really are stupid we get the politicians we deserve.
 

'We really are stupid'
Couldn't have said it any better myself.555

[Kingussie]

Someone please tell me what the Hell is wrong with
all the people that run UK!!!
LABOUR, CONSERVATIVES
&
LIBERALS, say
We're "broke"
and can't help
our own
Seniors,
Veterans,
Orphans,
Homeless,
etc.,???

In the last years we have provided direct cash aid to
Haiti- 1.4 B,
Hamas - 351 M,
Pakistan- 2 B,
Libya1.45 B,
Egypt- 397 M,
Mexico- 622 M,
Russia- 380 M,
Haiti- 1.4 B,
Jordan- 463 M,
Kenya- 816 M,
Sudan- 870 M,
Nigeria- 456 M,
Uganda- 451 M,
Congo- 359 M,
Ethiopia- 981 M,
South Africa- 566 M,
Senegal- 698 M,
Mozambique- 404 M,
Zambia- 331 M,
Kazakhstan- 304 M,
Iraq- 1.08 B,
Tanzania- 554 M,
  with literally Billions
and they still
hate us!!!
 
Our retired seniors
living on a 'fixed income'
do they get any breaks while our government
and religious organisations pour Hundreds of Billions
and Tons of Food
to Foreign Countries!


What about India we give them the best part £500m a year, half the population don't have access to a toilet BUT they are about to launch a mission to Mars. (the planet not the chocolate bar HQ.) WTF is that all about?   We really are stupid we get the politicians we deserve.
 

'We really are stupid'
Couldn't have said it any better myself.555
There seems to be some serious problems with the posting on this forum.
Posted one comment and two appear.

[TBWG]

Taxpayers' £10,000 bill to teach failed asylum seeker to fly:

Ethiopian given lessons despite Government saying he must leave country next year
Yonas Admasu Kebedemm will also get up to £10,000 in living expenses
Court rules council must meet his education costs after leaving school
Critics call decision 'blank cheque' which is 'deeply unfair' on taxpayers
Council also funding his younger brother to start a degree in Manchester

By ELEANOR HARDING
PUBLISHED: 22:30 GMT, 4 November 2013 | UPDATED: 23:28 GMT, 4 November 2013
 

High ambitions: Yonas Admasu Kebede, 21, from Ethiopia, will train at taxpayers' expense
Taxpayers face a bill of tens of thousands of pounds so a failed asylum seeker can train to be a pilot.
Yonas Admasu Kebede will be given flying lessons costing £10,000 even though the Government says he must leave the UK next year.
The 21-year-old from Ethiopia will also get up to £10,000 in living expenses.
A council is being forced to pay up after a court ruled it must meet Mr Kebede’s education costs after leaving school.
Critics called the decision a ‘blank cheque’ which is ‘deeply unfair’ on taxpayers and questioned whether learning to fly should be paid from the public purse.
The council is also funding Mr Kebede’s younger brother, Abiy, 20, to start a degree at Manchester Metropolitan University.
The Kebedes came to the UK with their older brother and father in 2004. Their asylum application was refused but they were granted discretionary leave to stay in the UK until November 2014.
Shortly after their arrival, they were abandoned by the older family members. They were placed in council care in Newcastle and attended a local comprehensive, where they attained GCSEs and A-levels.
Aerial view: Mr Kebede is taking the lessons at Flight Training London at Elstree Aerodrome (pictured) in Hertfordshire, and hopes to then apply for a degree in aviation
Aerial view: Mr Kebede is taking the lessons at Flight Training London at Elstree Aerodrome (pictured) in Hertfordshire, and hopes to then apply for a degree in aviation
By law, local authorities have a duty to help meet training costs of those with no parents so that they can enter the workplace.
Usually, these costs are living expenses for apprenticeships and college courses – not the enormous sums associated with a degree or professional qualification.
But the brothers’ lawyers argued that the council should pick up the bill as their immigration status barred them from applying for a student loan.
Labour-controlled Newcastle city council fought the claim in the Administrative Court and the Court of Appeal, but lost, in a ruling likely to set a precedent for other claims.
 
It now faces providing loans of up to £20,000 per year to each brother, with the amount to be repaid once they start work.
The brothers plan to apply for indefinite leave to remain in the UK but there is no guarantee it will be granted. They may be able to transfer to a normal student loan arrangement if their application is successful – which could see them repaying some of the cost of their education.
Mr Kebede is taking the lessons at Flight Training London at Elstree Aerodrome, Hertfordshire, and hopes to then apply for a degree in aviation.
The training for a private pilot’s licence involves a minimum of 45 flying hours and seven theoretical exams as well as a flight test.
The flying school charges £165 per hour-long training session, while a flight test costs £185.
Training: The training for a private pilot's licence involves a minimum of 45 flying hours and seven theoretical exams as well as a flight test. It is thought he will learn to fly in a Piper aircraft like the one above
Training: The training for a private pilot's licence involves a minimum of 45 flying hours and seven theoretical exams as well as a flight test. It is thought he will learn to fly in a Piper aircraft like the one above

Yesterday Greg Stone, a Liberal Democrat councillor, said: ‘I can see why the council should support them going to a local college and so on but this seems over and above what people would expect. The public would be surprised that the council is obliged to pay for flying lessons.
‘We haven’t budgeted for this. Is this a blank cheque to give them whatever they ask for?’
If Yonas Kebede seeks to pursue a degree after his flying lessons, the council fears it will have to foot the bill for that too – up to £30,000 in fees and a similar amount in living costs.
Robert Oxley, of the TaxPayers’ Alliance, said: ‘This judgment is absolutely farcical and deeply unfair on the taxpayers footing the bill.
'We haven’t budgeted for this. Is this a blank cheque to give them whatever they ask for?'
Greg Stone, Liberal Democrat councillor
‘Lots of parents scrimp and save to provide their children opportunities for further education, yet now they’re also paying for this young man’s flying lessons. The brothers were granted leave to remain, not a free ride.’
Tory North East MEP Martin Callanan added: ‘I find this totally bizarre. The council are in a difficult position if the Court of Appeal has ordered it but most taxpayers will be appalled that they are funding flying lessons for a refugee, however well intentioned he is. It is absolutely incredible.’
The brothers both applied for courses beginning last autumn, but when they discovered the funding was not available they deferred their places. They then instructed lawyers to pursue a claim with Newcastle Council to provide the funding.
Paul Heron, of Public Interest Lawyers, said: ‘We are thrilled that the Court of Appeal found in favour of our clients. They will now be able to go on to higher education, where they plan to complete their studies, secure a career here in the UK and repay their student loans in full to Newcastle city council.’
The case came about after the Government changed the rules in 2011 as to who could apply for a student loan. The new rules stated those with discretionary leave to remain were no longer eligible for a loan.


Speechless

TBWG

[TBWG]

A man is alone in an airport lounge, when a beautiful woman walks in and
sits down at the table next to him. He decides because she's wearing a
uniform, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant.

So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline
she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto :

'To Fly. To Serve'.

The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line.
He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto:

'Winning the hearts of the world'.

Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.
Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines
motto:

'Going beyond expectations'.

The woman looks at him sternly and says:
'What the F**k do you want?'

'Aha!' he says

"Ryanair".

[TBWG]

Years ago B.R. (before recycling) a refuse collector is driving along a street picking up the wheelie bins and emptying them into his compactor.
He goes to one house where the bin hasn't been left out, and in the spirit of kindness
(YES it happened sometimes in those days!),
and after having a quick look about for the bin,
he gets out of his truck goes to the front door and knocks.
There's no answer.

Being a kindly and conscientious bloke, he knocks again - a bit harder and then harder still.

Eventually a Chinese man comes to the door.

"Harro!"

says the Chinese man.

"Gidday, mate! Where's ya bin?"

asks the collector.

"I bin on toiret,"

explains the Chinese bloke, a bit perplexed.

Realising the fellow had misunderstood him, the bin man smiles and tries again..

"No! No! Mate, where’s your dust bin?"

"I dust been to toiret, I toll you!'' says the Chinese man, still perplexed.

"Listen,"

says the collector.

"You're misunderstanding me. Where's your wheelie' bin?'"

"OK, OK."

replies the Chinese man with a sheepish grin and whispers in the collector's ear.

"I wheelie bin upstairs having sex wiffa wife's sista!"

 
 
 
 

[TBWG]

Nobody will notice!

[TBWG]

  A man went to Harley Street in London , having seen an advert for a Gynaecologist's Assistant.
 


Knowing that nowadays, job advertisers aren't able to discriminate against the applicant's gender, he was very interested, so he went in and asked the secretary for details.

She retrieved the file and read to him:

"This job entails preparing ladies for the Gynaecologist. You will be responsible for helping them out of their underwear, laying them down and carefully washing their private areas, applying shaving foam to the necessary parts and removing all unwanted foliage, and finally, you'll be required to rub in soothing oils, in preparation for the Gynaecologist's examination.”

Then she told him “The annual salary is £65,000 and if you're interested, you'll have to go to Aberdeen " .

"My goodness!", exclaimed the man, "Is that where the job is?".
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

She answered, "No , that's where the end of the queue is..."
 
 
 
 

[TBWG]

  HITCH HIKERS ON THE  NULLABOR

Two  Aboriginals were riding along the highway on a motorbike. They  broke down and started trying to hitch a lift.

A friendly  trucker (Wilko) stopped to see if he could help and they  asked  him for a lift.

He told them he had no room in  the rig because he was carrying 20,000 lawn bowls.

The  Aboriginals put it to Wilko that if they could manage to fit  in the back with their bike, would he give them a lift, and he  relented.
 
They managed to squeeze themselves and  their motorbike into the back of the  truck, so Wilko the driver shut the doors and got off on his  way.

By this time he was really late and so pushed his foot  down hard.

Sure enough the Highway Patrol pulled him over  for speeding. The  good officer asked Wilko what he was carrying to which he  replied jokingly-- 'Indigenous eggs'.

The Highway Patrol  Officer obviously didn't believe this so wanted to take a look  for himself.

He opened the back door and quickly slammed  it shut and locked it.  Then  he got onto his radio and called for immediate backup from as  many officers as possible.

The dispatcher asked what  emergency there was that required so many officers. 

'I've got a truck  with 20,000 Abo eggs in it - 2 have hatched and they have  already managed to steal a  motorbike'

[TBWG]

On Monday morning the Postman is walking through the neighbourhood on his usual route, delivering the mail. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Derek, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and spirit bottles for the recycling bin.

'Wow Derek, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,' the Postman comments.

Derek, in obvious pain, replies 'Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighbourhood over for some weekend fun and It got a bit wild. We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I.'

The Postman thinks a moment and says, 'How do you play WHO AM I?'

'Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us, with only our 'family jewels' showing through a hole in the sheet.. Then the women try to guess who it is.'

The Postman laughs and says, 'Sounds like fun. I'm sorry I missed that.'

'Probably a good thing you did,' Derek responded. 'Your name came up seven times... +++++++++++++++++++++

[TBWG]

Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Polish pickle packing factory. For many years he had a powerful urge to put his penis in the pickle slicer.
Unable to dismiss the thought he sought professional help. After six monthly sessions, his therapist gave up.
 He advised Yossel to go ahead and do it or he would never have peace of mind.


Several days later, Yossel came home from work very early.
His wife Sarah became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened.
Yossel tearfully confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer.
He went on to explain that he finally went ahead, did it and had just been fired from his job.


Sarah gasped and ran over to her husband.
She quickly yanked down his pants and boxer shorts only to find a normal, completely intact penis.
Looking up she said, "Yossel, I don't understand. What happened with the pickle slicer?"

Yossel replied, "She got fired, too.

[TBWG]

Paddy took two stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow'.

"Ooh!" said the presenter, "This is a very rare set, produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of last century. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?"

"...Sticks?" Paddy replied

[TBWG]

DRIVING IN RAIN....This May Save Your Life. This is well worth a read!

GOOD VISION IN A DOWNPOUR


How to achieve good vision while driving during a heavy downpour. We are not sure why it is so effective; just try this method when it rains heavily. This method was told by a Police friend who had
experienced and confirmed it. It is useful....even driving at night.

Most of the motorists would turn on HIGH or FASTEST SPEED of the wipers during heavy downpour, yet the visibility in front of the windshield is still bad....
In the event you face such a situation, just put on your SUNGLASSES (any model will do), and miracles! All of a sudden, your visibility in front of your windshield is perfectly clear, as if there is no rain.

Make sure you always have a pair of SUNGLASSES in your car. You are not only helping yourself to drive safely with good vision, but also might save your friend's life by giving him this idea....Try it yourself and share it with your friends!!!!
Amazingly, you still see the drops on the windshield, but not the sheet of rain falling. You can see where the rain bounces off the road.
It works to eliminate the "blindness" from passing cars. Or the "kickup" if you are following a car in the rain.
They ought to teach this little tip in driver's training....It really does work. This is a good warning I wonder how many people knew
about this???
Another good tip:
A 36 year old female had an accident several weeks ago. It was raining, though not excessively when her car suddenly began to hydro-plane and literally flew through the air. She was not seriously injured but very stunned at the sudden occurrence! When she explained to the Police Officer what had happened, he told her something that every driver should know- NEVER DRIVE IN THE RAIN WITH YOUR CRUISE CONTROL ON.
She thought she was being cautious by setting the cruise control and maintaining a safe consistent speed in the rain....

But the Police Officer told her that if the cruise control is on, your car will begin to hydro-plane when the tires lose contact with the road, and your car will accelerate to a higher rate of speed making you take off like an airplane. She told the Officer that was exactly what had occurred. The Officer said this warning should be listed, on the driver's seat sun-visor-NEVER USE THE CRUISE CONTROL WHEN THE ROAD IS WET OR ICY, along with the airbag warning. We tell our teenagers to set the cruise control and drive a safe speed-but we don't tell them to use the cruise control only when the road is dry.

The only person the accident victim found who knew this,(besides the Officer), was a man who'd had a similar accident, totalled his car and sustained severe injuries.

NOTE: Some vehicles (like the Toyota Sienna Limited XLE) will not
allow you to set the cruise control when the windshield wipers are on.