Thief in our Family

[dave the dude]

Hi  
I don't need to be told things would be easier if I spoke Thai, as i am trying.
For some time now I have had suspicions about money going missing from my wallet when its left in a draw in our usually locked bedroom. It has always been one,two or three thousand Baht notes gone missing and NEVER all my money. Yesterday I caught the step-son virtually 'red handed' in our bedroom, with 2000b missing (again). After a feeble excuse why he was in there, he promptly shinned it out of his bedroom window and disappeared. His live-in girlfriend stayed alone that night.
Next morning, I find he had returned and upon me going ballistic (Very,very unusual for me BTW.I am a quiet non-violent type) I step back & let the wife deal with her 17 year old son. Within an hour the money had been returned and my Thai family expected that to be the end of this incident. To me, that was 'cast iron' evidence of his guilt and I told them all that I was off to get him arrested. I actually got out of the village for a well needed 'quiet time alone' to cool off.   The family are all angry with him but to my amazement, his grandmother who lives next door is going to let him live 10 METRES away from my home, The 'Crime Scene.'

I just cannot get it into the family's brain that he needs to be shown a lesson and this is not just to satisfy my 'male dominant pride.' I honestly expected them to go live with her family now, which has happened once before. I cannot help think they came back to our home purely to plunder. I have taken away the keys to his brand new motorcy, which my wife has guaranteed for the repayments.

What do I do? Put up & shut up and give him YET another chance to redeem himself or what
  
DAVE (Mr.Angry of ISAAN)

[Lourens]

There's one in every family isn't it? We had the exact same problem: Money dissapearing from my wifes purse and my wallet from a locked room. And I knew who it was but was never able to prove it. I took the passive route and simply changed the locks and made my wife understand in a very clear fashion to NOT give the keys to anybody again. This was two years ago and we never had the problem again. My family is very supportive and I don't like to make trouble by blowing off steam in public. All to do with face I suppose. 

[dave the dude]

Hi Lourens

I understand the stance you chose to make but unlike you, I have proof now that he stole many times from me. Like you suggested, I was more vigilant and kept doors locked, after the last incident but I hate the thought of living in a fortress. I left the UK for a safer,quieter(& cheaper) life here. I have calmed down quite a bit now and know the family & a local 'big wig' Monk have all given him a talking too. In a thai way, Im sure I am getting a lot of support from friends and family because my wife & I are well liked in the village. I just see no punishment 

Seems like I will be activating our (up until now) under-used Burgular Alarm system a lot more.

[Lourens]

I agree. I hate living in a fortress. Another reason I came to Thailand was for the safer environment. In South Africa, walking in from the street, you have to pass through the main gate, then the security gate and then the front door - all locked with the main gate double locked. Then you have burglar proofing on all the windows and an alarm system and a big dog just to back things up. Terrible! Looking at it from that viewpoint, locking the bedroom door is not so bad. I'm considering installing a safe box - one of those that gets bolted to the floor and the wall. They're for sale at Homemart and might be well worth the expense.

[nookiebear]

Dave ,I certainly don't envy the position you are in...........I've never had the same problem myself...........but one thing you can be sure of it a leopard never changes its spots,'Once a Thief always a Thief'.

[dave the dude]

my thinking too, nookiebear

I have/will let it be known that he is being watched and one wrong move, then I will give a call to a policeman friend and off he goes, no questions asked. He has disgraced his family for the last time.
The one thing I do not understand is why the pair hav'nt gone back to HER family for the second time? Unless they have been kicked out of there too?

Dave

[andylee]

I had a similar problem, my wife has 3 brothers, 2 of whom generally ignore me, other one is great. Everyone else in the village talks to me.
Money went missing (or atm machines and myself cant count) from a locked drawer (with obviously not so well hidden key). The youngest brother was the only one who had been in the house. He carried on stealing whiskey, and attempted to steal DVDs etc.
He was banned from the house for not speaking to me, then he started saying "seewadee krap" but in such a way that I knew he was taking the piss.
When I had an extension on the house and installed a pool room, he was always happy to say hello, thinking cos we were related he had a right to play above people who had always been civil to me.
So I had to say "No ... too late .... he could have spoken to me for the last two years, but failed to until I got a pool table.
The two brothers who dont talk to me, dont come to the house. Which I am happy about. A shame for them really, but their choice.

[Admin]

What a pool table can make to some thais.. I dont want to think what would have happan if you decide to buy a draft beer machine.. hehehe.

[attachment deleted by admin]

[7]

I Suggest you to buy a safe, Big-C sells them starting at 900 THB to get rid of this problem.

Money safe everyone happy.......





[attachment deleted by admin]

[dave the dude]

I Suggest you to buy a safe, Big-C sells them starting at 900 THB to get rid of this problem.

Money safe everyone happy.......

Hi 7
Good idea and thanks for the picture, I didn't know they looked like that 
 
Dave (retired Bank Manager BTW)

[dave the dude]

I had a similar problem, my wife has 3 brothers, 2 of whom generally ignore me, other one is great. Everyone else in the village talks to me.
Money went missing (or atm machines and myself cant count) from a locked drawer (with obviously not so well hidden key). The youngest brother was the only one who had been in the house. He carried on stealing whiskey, and attempted to steal DVDs etc.
He was banned from the house for not speaking to me, then he started saying "seewadee krap" but in such a way that I knew he was taking the piss.
When I had an extension on the house and installed a pool room, he was always happy to say hello, thinking cos we were related he had a right to play above people who had always been civil to me.
So I had to say "No ... too late .... he could have spoken to me for the last two years, but failed to until I got a pool table.
The two brothers who dont talk to me, dont come to the house. Which I am happy about. A shame for them really, but their choice.

Hi Andy

I will have to be careful how I say "Sawadee krap" to you in future, incase you think I am 'taking the piss.' 

Its funny, a while back I was offered a near new Pool table and was well up for buying it until 'er in doors' suggested it would turn our house into the village bar.
Al Murrey, I am not, so I did as I was told.

Dave