A Naive Expat in Thailand

[TBWG]

Hi Buriramboy

They are avaiable at Dan Kwian near Immigration office.

Off the top of my head they are on same side of road a km or so before the 2 pots turn off for immigration office.

Thats coming from Korat direction NOT Chock Chai. It is a large establishment has a couple of large stone elephants in a pond at the front. Parking at rear which is where the bum stools are situated.

Not sure of price.


TBWG

[urleft]

what do you do when sexy daughter from across the street come over? 

Me, I hide.  Stick with Boss lady. 

[TBWG]

Hi Bums

Well after sinking a few bottles of Magner's and scoffing some excellent grub  at Paddy’s St Patrick’s day soiree,  it was back to Satuk before dark as the boss lady had only given me a daytime pass.

However she was in a good mood and made the mistake of letting me go down to the market to check that the Archa supply was up to scratch!

At this point I should mention that I had had a run out on the Honda Phantom to the previous days night market and topped up on fish food for my pet goldfish ‘Blackie’.

Now his/her favorite nosh comes in a 30baht plastic bag secured with many lethal staples, so I decided to decant it into an empty nescafe jar to keep all the pesky insects and rodents from getting a free meal. To avoid spilling it I did this over the sink in the kitchen.

You may well be getting ahead of me now but after returning from the market slightly the worse for wear from performing quality control checks on several bottles of Archa  , I fancied a ~~~ cup of coffee.

Despite it being a lot cheaper, I can now confirm that fish food is a crap substitute for coffee, take my word for it don’t be tempted !

TBWG 

[TBWG]

Songkran musings!


I suppose I have lived in Thailand long enough to know that common sense and self preservation are not attributes readily associated with Thai male youth.

But, during Songkran celebrations watching the above mentioned stand in the middle of a main road directing traffic, grooving and splashing water whilst pissed out of their mind beggars belief, not only because of their own inebriated state but because the majority of the mobile population are also pissed and intent on using them for target practice.

I am however pleased to report that the only casualty was one individual covered in his own vomit!

On a slightly lighter note I was amused to see an elderly Thai man circa approx 75-80 yoa riding a bicycle whilst sporting a T shirt which said 'Stop staring at my tits' 

You have to love Thailand!


TBWG

[Vombatus]

elderly Thai man circa approx 75-80 yoa riding a bicycle whilst sporting a T shirt which said 'Stop staring at my tits'



Lovely   -  only in Thailand   

[TBWG]

Hi Bums


Ants in my pants ~~~ well not really, but its about the only place the little buggers haven't got recently!

Now I am used to being bitten by (mot deng) well red ants then whilst I am out in the garden and it seems that if you have mango trees then they particularly like nesting in them. But at least they are big enough to see and too date seem to stay in the garden.

What I am talking about is the little black buggers and although they don't bite they do get everywhere!

With the arrival of the rainy season they seem to have had a population explosion, they seem to have taken up residence in my car as well as the entire house. Now I am fairly meticulous about clearing up after myself but leave a speck of food anywhere and hundreds of the buggers appear!

The other evening whilst on the computer I suddenly had spots in front of my eyes, fortunately this was not a medical condition just these little sods strolling around on my glasses!

What I'd like to know is are any of you folks inundated with them and if so how do you get rid of them?


TBWG

[TBWG]

Hi Folks


Whilst I am in the UK avoiding the rainy season I still keep in touch with the farangs back in Satuk.   

Well, one of them recently sent me an e mail about his exploits whilst on route to Korat and I repeat them here for your entertainment.  When the Tourist office of Thailand  advertise amazing Thailand is this what they mean?



"Last Thursday, having mistaken the day for going to Buriram Immigration, we had to make the trip to immigration at Korat.

 On the way there, having traversed the route 24 & turning onto route 15, we had nearly arrived at immigration when we saw in the distance something on the road. Was it a workman? Or a police check? No, it was a “katoey” or lady-boy dancing in the fast lane of the 4-lane highway!

 He/she had shed the top exposing  perky breasts. She/he had also dropped his dacks and was go-go dancing with the shorts around his ankles displaying his genitalia for all to see. We blinked twice and passed by.

At immigration, Pim was chatting to a policeman who was also parked in the car park and mentioned what she had seen. The policeman said, yes he had seen it too but passed it by (obviously not wanting to waste his time by taking it into custody and having another mouth to feed in the watch-house!)."

Truly amazing Thailand!


TBWG

[TBWG]

Nookie's Baps

For the uninitiated Nookie has a regular run to Pattaya to stock up on amongst other things bread and rolls, so if you are craving  some pumpernickel or a pair of bloomers Nookie is your man!

I say Nookie, but to his closest friends he is known as Amazon, I have made a few enquiries about this name and have ascertained that it is because he meanders about a lot, has a big mouth and can be seen from space! Well you can't argue with that.

But what a lot of people do not know is that Nookie is a talented style guru and colour coordination expert, so much so that BBC five are doing a special through the karsey keyhole special on the ablutions at his restaurant.

A must for all toilet lovers, so don't miss it!

Don't you just love Thailand.


TBWG

[areeya]

 
Ha,ha,ha! Well, I reed this from cold Sweden and I really miss Buriram. But I will be back soon!
Take care you all and enjoy staing in Buriram! Say hello to ewerybody from ...

Frank

[Vombatus]

Nookie's Baps

For the uninitiated Nookie has a regular run to Pattaya to stock up on amongst other things bread and rolls, so if you are craving  some pumpernickel or a pair of bloomers Nookie is your man!

I say Nookie, but to his closest friends he is known as Amazon, I have made a few enquiries about this name and have ascertained that it is because he meanders about a lot, has a big mouth and can be seen from space! Well you can't argue with that.

But what a lot of people do not know is that Nookie is a talented style guru and colour coordination expert, so much so that BBC five are doing a special through the karsey keyhole special on the ablutions at his restaurant.

A must for all toilet lovers, so don't miss it!

Don't you just love Thailand.


TBWG

David - Can I just ask if you posts of 17 July and 20 September are in anyway connected ??   

[TBWG]

Hi CC

Must admit Nookie immediately came to mind when I heard of the incident. But, I dissmissed it when I read about the perky  breasts.

I suspect Nookies manboobs are anything but perky!

TBWG

[TBWG]

Cobra cobblers


I see many Forum posts about how top get rid of or how to kill snakes, as a live and let live advocate I am all for leaving the things alone, but appreciate that if you have toddlers this is not always an option.

However, it does make me recall an amusing thread I came across some time ago.

The gist of it was that this guy had a nest of cobra's in a compost heap and asked for suggestions as to how to get rid of them.

The ideas ranged from making a noise to scare them off, dousing the compost heap in petrol, sprinkling chili powder on them and encircling the heap with lime.

To which he replied now lets see if I've got this right, I should play a boom box on the heap, smother it with petrol lob on some chili and lime and set fire to it. Is there anything I have forgotten ? Cos if that does not work I am running out of options.

I wonder if he got rid of his cobra's?

Don't you just love Thailand.


TBWG

[urleft]

Cobra cobblers


I see many Forum posts about how top get rid of or how to kill snakes, as a live and let live advocate I am all for leaving the things alone, but appreciate that if you have toddlers this is not always an option.

However, it does make me recall an amusing thread I came across some time ago.

The gist of it was that this guy had a nest of cobra's in a compost heap and asked for suggestions as to how to get rid of them.

The ideas ranged from making a noise to scare them off, dousing the compost heap in petrol, sprinkling chili powder on them and encircling the heap with lime.

To which he replied now lets see if I've got this right, I should play a boom box on the heap, smother it with petrol lob on some chili and lime and set fire to it. Is there anything I have forgotten ? Cos if that does not work I am running out of options.

I wonder if he got rid of his cobra's?

Don't you just love Thailand.


TBWG

There is the option to try to get people to understand what a delicacy Cobra meat is, and the problem takes care of itself.

[sugardaddyken]

To which he replied now lets see if I've got this right, I should play a boom box on the heap, smother it with petrol lob on some chili and lime and set fire to it. Is there anything I have forgotten ? Cos if that does not work I am running out of options.

Kick them in the Cobra's 

[TBWG]

Hi Folks



I should have smelt a rat.......................................................

When the driver said don't put the luggage in the coach hold as it might get wet!

I suppose this was to be expected as I was setting off 24 hours early to ensure that I would catch my flight from Suvarnabhumi airport and avoid the floods.

Well the bus journey from Satuk to BKK Mo Chit is normally about 6 hours and I was warned that it may take a little longer. So armed with a load of sarnies and a couple of bottles lemon tea I settled down on the bus in my shorts and T shirt.  Well that was another mistake the air con was set on what felt like rapid freeze and I was the only twat in shorts!  When we eventually reached Mo Chit 9 hours later the cooled refresh wipe offered by the bus girl would have stuck to my skin should I have been daft enough to use it.

Anyway we did eventually reach Mo Chit via an interesting scenic route. All went well for first 5 or so hours and I was lulled into a false sense of security but then  as we arrive on the outskirts of Bangkok the bus decides to turn off into the boonies!   

Well now we had a glorified tour of bumf**knowhere driving down narrow roads where the water levels either side of the road were at least a meter higher than the road and only held back by some hastily erected mud banks. Although credit where it is due they appeared to be working!   
So baggage in the hold remained dry ~~~ this time!

Eventually we resurfaced in Miniburi and proceeded to crawl into Bangkok, this was not helped by every flyover or elevated road having cars parked is some cases 2 rows deep and many with covers obviously expecting a long stay to avoid having to empty flood water from the ashtrays!

In fact a taxi driver had told me a week earlier that the airport car park was full of long stay vehicles in an effort to avoid the flooding.

All I need now is for the airport to stay dry for the next few hours and I will be on my way ~~~Just hope it is still here when I return in a weeks time!

Don't you just love Thailand!


TBWG